I’m finally starting to feel tired enough to where I can go to sleep after not being able to sleep at all last night, I went back to school today and to be honest I’m starting to like it less and less being there gives me a feeling of unease, I’m applying to the performing arts school I dropped out of last school year I really hope I can get in. Â I just want to be great :beautiful,smart,talented I know it sounds superficial but I feel like that’s what would make me feel good about myself. It’s 5 am one hour to sleep before school […]
Rants
Advantage is particularly catchy, full black leather to complement golden brass pieces, the GG logo. gucci shop Hardware form beautiful, pale gold with polished, cherry skin hand shadow, so it would show emission. Are you able to use it? 1350 yuan price tag, sneezing, handbag (with little talent) of the brand.
it is not so bad classic, functional leather bag popular because it might be. Diamante canvas have been used in the 1950s by Gucci creative director Frida Giannini widely, it is to explore the museums and accessories that are used in early spring 2010 season. I will be quite orange version (orange-brown than […]
i dont know when they started. i guess i’ve always thought about death, even as a little kid. I’ve just always seen something and thought “that could kill me. i’d be dead/gone” it used to scare me so much but now i’m used to it. now i listen to it. i’ve already made one attempt and obviously failed. just planning and thinking about it calms all my anxiety. i’ve lost my train of thought for now….sorry for wasting your time
I don’t know how to tell if a guy likes me. (Pathetic, I suppose). I know that I probably don’t deserve to be on here. This is for people who are having problems. I’ll admit, I have problems. I do want to cut again. I want to cry. I can’t let myself have happiness. Wow. I had it for a day! A whole day. Actually, no, it stopped. Maybe 6 hours, I had that happiness. I guess that’s cool. I mean, what am I? I’m a monster. I don’t deserve to live. Everything is my fault. I could have stopped everything that’s happened in my […]
I’m not ugly, I’m not pretty. I’m just me. Depressed, lonely, boring me. I have a story, my story, to tell. I don’t believe in other people committing suicide, but i feel I should. I have so many reasons against me. I have had help, asked for it, it was given but nothing works. I’m still me here waiting, watching, wanting to die, but something keeps me from actually doing it. I want to so badly I cry because I cant even do that. Some days I eat everything, some days I don’t eat at all. I fail at school and suck at life. A ll I really want it to be […]
I’m so angry right now and fed up I really don’t know what to do and I’m tired of brushing off my feelings and burying them away inside like they’re nothing. I’ve really tried to overcome my depression but nothing has helped and I’m starting to question myself because having depression has really messed with how I look myself before this illness and I’m tired of hearing things like “this will pass” and other things like that because if that were true  then I wouldn’t be here right now and I’m tired and I just want to feel what I’m feeling and not cover it […]
I’m feeling angryt as a fucking stampede whether that makes sense or not. I’m feeling “bipolar as fuck”, thats my self evaluation. I drank a Monster Energy “Supplement” and it has me hyperactive, and feeling extra shitty. I want to blow off steam. I tried talking to the SP chat, but they are on their own tangent and tending to their wounded and my mind was too fastpaced to even comprehend their acknowledgement of my current condition.
Dont tell them I’m complaining about them,, I really am not, I’m complaining about myself and shit thats going on in my head. I need some sort of release […]
I don’t remember what it’s like to hug someone and to feel loved. Happy. Please, is anyone here in my life? Â Because it doesn’t feel like it. I just want to close my eyes and never wake up.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t get help, I just don’t know who to go to. My parents emotionally abuse me… They yell at me and tell me horrible things so often that I started to believe them. Then I learned my “friends” aren’t my friends. So I was left alone. My brother is also horrible to me, he treats me as bad as my parents treat me. I feel like I’m out of options.
I cut and have been cutting for a while. My mom saw some cuts once and started to yell at me and curse me. She told me though, she […]
Well as you can see above (Phobias from Hell) are the root cause for my want of self destruction. I know this is somehow cliche with my appearance, but I can’t change a stereotype.
Since early childhood I have had an irrational, severe phobia of doctors. I can’t even go to the school nurse with out a panic attack. To go along perfectly with my fear of doctors, I’m a hypochondriac to the extreme. When I was 12 I was convinced I was dying of colon cancer and (tad graphic, sorry) at any moment I would discharge blood from my bowels and that would be that. After […]
I keep forgetting about this site
So I’ve actually gotten better. I never thought I would but looks like I did.
I fucked up last night though. I was a mess. It sounds really stupid, but I think the one of the reasons I hadn’t cut for two weeks was because of my bracelets. My bracelets are hard to get off, and I didn’t want to take them off. I was being extremely self destructive, and I can feel that while typing this. My pinkie finger is fucking up bad, mainly because I pretty well crushed it. My arm is burned, because I decided to drip hot […]
On TV or in books the protagonist is always described as “ordinary girl”, someone that just looks like no one special but turns out to be very special to just the right boy… People always want to stand out, be that little bit extra pretty, extra smart and just special. I just realised from the very beginning that I had no shot at being special in a good, charming way and extra pretty never kicked in either. I lost the “cute” when I turned about 12 and it just never came back. Instead I just grew tall, and big and insecure. I faked confidence well […]
I’m tired of  the cycle, of making plans that get me no where and right now I just hate that I’m at the lowest point of depression I can’t even seem to get out of it. I’m so tired of everything
I got back my results today …almost cried in class because I knew they would kill me …go home my dad just keeps screaming at my ….your a fucking idiot you will never amount to anything …..your disgrace, all i say is hes right because he is .Go to school crying … so no one talks to me all day..Go home this time my moms saying i am selfish ugly ***** for causing all this trouble ….im just too exhusted with the fighting to fight back .. im just done with everything .I use to not understnd why they hted me .. but i do […]
Is life even worth living anymore?
I have been trying, struggling against suicidal thoughts. I have been getting help, but it is still not working. I am scared, scared that I won’t live to become a teenager (I am not yet in my teens). I cry and cry and try to tell my friends, but I’m scared of their reactions. I hate myself because I am not strong enough, they are so strong, no matter what happens, they don’t think of suicide. But me? I can’t stop thinking of it. I am scared and hurt and I need help but I am too afraid to […]
I’ll warn that most of the things you’re about to read may seem like they’ve been written by an angsty spoiled 15-year-old girl. That’s what I am, after all.
I’m too scared to live – simple as that. I like my life the way it is now (well, maybe not). I enjoy the freedom that comes with those teenage years; in fact, I love it. Perhaps too much.
I don’t like to preoccupy myself with the outside world. I’m really ignorant that way. I learn what they teach me in school, but never one have they addressed the simple topic of “How to buy a candy from […]
I can’t get myself out, Â I mean it’s not like I enjoy being here but I feel too far gone I mean I don’t even know if it’s worth it for me to come out of my depression anymore because it’s not like I’ll be any better maybe that’s my depression talking because all my memories are tainted everything is tainted.. I just want to be better
Hey all, this is my frist post and could possibly be my last, im really unsure at this point what is going to happen. Im 21 years old and male so i guess ill just be another part of a common demographic when it comes down to it but hey, at least i got on paper somehow. Ive been dealing with depression for about 5 and a half years now. I hate myself, i hate that i cant stop how i feel about the world, i hate that i cant change that im essentially a total failure and waste. I dropped out of college about […]
Im 17 years old. Ive been thinking about suicide on and off since I was in the 6th grade. Im a teen mom. My mother and I have never really gotten along but its been particularly bad since I had my baby. She yells at me for not cleaning the house to.her expectations but mind you I have a brother that doesnt do ANYTHING. He wont clean his room do his schoolwork or chores. I have As and Bs and I clean the whole house by myself and take ccare of a baby.,she.supports me but complains about how she never has moneyhow I never
do […]
im 18 years old. i get mad easily . i cut myself i’ve thought of suicide a lot of times. but i remember hell is eternal this pain is just temporary. my mom is very strict . she calls me worthless , bastard, ***** and all sorts of names. today she called me a failure. i cry a lot but i have no one to talk to since god is ignoring me. i try to do good but i guess its not working …never slept with any guy. most guys i talk to treat me like shit. they act like i’m worthless . i have […]