I HATE my life. That’s it. I spend all my time, hating my life. My kids, take turns BASHING and PUNISHING me. I am terminal anyway. It takes so much energy to HATE anything, or anyone for that matter. I know that someday I will be in Heaven with my Father. I can not believe that He Hath Forsaken me. I knew the consequences of coming back, I should not ever have come back. I HATE it here. I am so emotionally abused…and everyone sits around like that is an acceptable action ~ to be verbally, mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. My son in LA, […]
Rants
Don’t know what to tell about how I got here. It’s been a long ride, a painful one and at this point I can’t even feel pain or much else for that matter. I’m numb to the world, numb to myself and numb to the people around me, but I suppose I would like to tell a little of my story to anyone who cares.
I’m a 28 year old man and I live alone. The word alone pretty much sums up my whole adult life. As a child I was molested by my stepfather. It’s borderline, some people probably wouldn’t call it molestation, but the […]
Alright. What the heck is wrong with me?? I’m pretty screwed up but I don’t know what to do about any of it. I have a stupid problem. First, I really hate being a girl. With a burning fire of hate. There really are no words to express how, when, or why I do, but I just hate being a girl. If I could start over and be a boy, I totally would. I try to let my trusted people know, but they don’t understand. They think I just hate going through puberty and that. But that’s not it. It’s so much more. I mean, […]
I’m new to this, and I seriously don’t know if I need to introduce myself. But hi, I’m really pissed right now, and if you’d like to be I’ll-read-your-blog-and-say-something-useful, I think we’re gonna be realll good friends. 🙂 I’m really not on this to create a sob story of my life, because my life is seriously not bad. Or terrible. Or horrible. Or suicide-worthy. It’s just a life. My life. And there are times when I just wanna scream at the world, and I found this site on Google. Seriously.
Recently, I turned sixteen and I’m not expecting much. Let’s rewind back and take a little […]
I’m saying no but how long for ?
I’m saying no but how long for Will it go before I give in Hold on hard to what is good Freedom from these thoughts These times that bind me Please stand before me I am a prisoner of my own mind As time has shown I am the jailer The keys hang on my belt The doors I can open with forgiveness Gates will be no match for my will Run free I could be happy in the wild If only I wasn’t a man of sin Alas my prison is not made of bars Nor steal […]
I’m exhausted. I’ve come to believe that there are people put on this earth that are meant to struggle throughout their lives. They are the ones that we look at in their 80’s and say…oh but she/he worked soo hard, did what they could, just couldn’t catch a break, but never complained, just went to work did what they had to do…. yeah well, I’m 42 years old, been divorced for 4 years now, I have 2 children remaining with me, my oldest is 19, has moved with his father and hates and refuses to speak to me bc of the divorce. I went […]
Not being able to meet their expectations is taking it’s toll on me. I do the daily grind, day-in and day-out, doing everything I can for them, yet I feel like it’s never enough. I’m doing my hardest to live for others to take my mind off these suicidal thoughts, but I feel like it’s only making it worse.
28, married, with 2 kids, a stable job with a corner office — yet I feel no different from 10 years ago during my first suicide attempt.
My parents still don’t recognize my efforts, my husband is apathetic to my struggle, and my kids brush me off when […]
Hey guys, I’m completely new to this place, though I’m certainly not new to the concept of suicide and depression. I’m brought here today to get some opinions on the current situation I’m in. Some background information first:
The name’s Justin, I’m 22 and a resident of Canada. I know you’re not supposed to share your real name online, but for me, it’s far too late for anonymity. Without going in to too much detail today, I’ve struggled with depression all of my life. I don’t know what to boil it down to, but I’ve always been an anxiety-ridden, meek fellow with no motivation, drive or […]
I haven’t posted on here in awhile, I’ve been trying to get away from it all. The cutting and the pill popping. But at the same time I was trying to get away from the help. I just wanted to be nowhere, or anywhere far away. I couldn’t take any of it, it was just too overwhelming.
I’ve never been one to ask for help or talk about my problems. I’ve always been the one to hide in the shadows and put on fake smiles. I don’t like bothering people with what’s going on in my life, because they probably don’t care. And even if they […]
I realized the other day that others ‘forbidding’ you to take your own life is not selfishness on your part but theirs. To expect you to say because it would break their heart to have you gone is shit. I personally don’t feel the need to hang around because they need me to. Suicide has always been a choice for me, though not one I have taken overly seriously, until late. My life was given to me by a selfish god who only had humans to make them pass a test. It didn’t work because i quit. I will commit suicide.
There is something to be […]
Hi. This is my first post… I’ve never told anyone that I wanted to end my life before. Now that I’m putting it out there for the first time is just a major relief. Don’t get me wrong, I try to be a good person, but I’m not perfect. I love my family and my family loves me, but they cause me so much emotional pain. Where to start… I think my sister would have to go first. We have always really gotten along, but we fight a lot and she tells me she doesn’t care about me. She is younger, but she is much […]
Just another mind in torment. Begging for the light to approach quickly.
Emotions strike me as unpleasant and weak. I am too narsastic and obsessed with controlling people to feel love for another human being. My existence feels like an obligation just another stupid person on this earth. I am done, I can’t take it any more. My mother has OCD , my sister has server autism, and I had autism when I was a little kid. I wish everyday that i could be the one who can be sick and my sister could be cured. my dad treats me like I am 10 when really I am 17. The only time I am ever happy is […]
Well today’s the day. Sunday. The plan was to end my life tonight. Leaving a couple different notes addressed to different people. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. Planning since the beginning of the school year, which started August 27, the day before my birthday. The plan was to wait until after my parents went to sleep, then go do it. My method is not the most preferred method out there, in fact many people hate it and think it’s like THE WORST one. But I have my reasons and I have tried twice before, failing obviously. Waking up in a hospital room surrounded […]
Just a shitty day… or a couple.
A day like today where I wake up feeling okay, and then I start thinking about all the things I’ve ever done wrong. And then I start thinking about how I’m a shitty person. And then, on top of that, I feel like I have zero things to offer. I try so fucking hard to be good at things, at art, at programming… I’m in college, getting decent grades and busting my ass… But I hate everything I’ve ever done. I’ve never accomplished anything and I feel worthless. I’m a huge sagging disappointment to myself. I feel ugly; I […]
I feel sick to my stomach. Maybe it was lack of nutrition, most likely not the alcohol. I don’t know. I will try to avoid text slang as I am accommodated to it. My life has desensitized me, I guess. I just picked that word up from a previous post. I believe I might be insane but how can I be sure. I have begun wearing a “happy” mask at my new school as its the last year of high school, so why not keep everyone out of the loop of my insanity and depression.
Yesterday, my happy place was destroyed (the imaginary place in my […]
I was doing ok for a while….busy, had an relatively active social life, pursuing my dream (acting)….but now, seems as though things have come full stop. I hate it!!! Starting to think those dark thoughts again….starting to wonder if it’s really worth it. Hate my job!!! Hate my life!!! Hate being alone. Sure, I have my family (minus my Dad who passed away in Feb), but I really don’t want to burden them. This is my ordeal. I think I need to keep busy, it’s only when I’m busy that I don’t have a chance to think. Sitting and thinking is death. Thinking about my […]
I’m a fifteen year old girl in the 10th grade and I have never felt so miserable in my entire life. I’m tired of being that optimistic girl that fakes a smile for the sake of everyone else. Most of my friends know about my depression but they think I’m okay at the moment. Last night I was almost positive I wanted to die, but instead of acting on the instinct to kill myself, I just lied in bed shaking and crying. I could never tell my mom that I feel like I want to die sometimes because it would either break her heart or […]
So, yea… Reading back, this is pretty long. Sorry.
I just sat here for the last 5 mins.. staring at this blank page. Not knowing where to start.. whether there’s some sort of “etiquette” to follow for total-forum-newbies (’cause yes, this is my first ever forum post on this matter, ever.. >.<), before posting.. Not knowing whether to actually post, or leave everything in my head like I do with everything. And no doubt, everything I write, I’ll be going over time and time again before i post this.. wondering if i should actually tell any of this – I’m not one for sharing. So much […]
You walk by me as I sit, unnoticed, in the secluded corner of the school. You came with her to have some alone time. Understandable. You saw me in the very spot you wanted to be. You wouldn’t have that. You tell me to move. I’m still in shock that someone is talking to me. You get no response from me. You grab me by what would be the collar of my jacket if it had one. You tell me again to move. But I’m sick of being pushed around. Sick of letting people like you decide how I feel and what I do. “Make […]
Has anyone else wondered this. Why? Why is this happeneing to me? What did I do to deserve this?
I’ll tell you now, I may not have been a straight A student but I am a very good person. I don’t go out and party, I don’t get drunk, I don’t smoke, I am so respectful to everyone, I’m very nice to everyone, I really have no type of social life, I always try to be the peace-maker, I am honestly just a good kid.
So, every day I wonder. What the heck did I do to deserve this!! I don’t ever try to hurt people, so what exactly did […]