Rants

3

what’s the point

February 26th, 2018by tamthescot

Why do I go on?
I did everything right. I stayed on at school, went first to college then to university. I was good to people I met and was friendly to everyone. SO WHAT WENT WRONG?
I don’t know. Once I finished university I saw a great future ahead for me, that was 2006.
Since then I have had a huge number of dead end jobs the longest lasting a year the shortest only weeks.
Though I like women I haven’t been in a relationship in that time. In the last few months I have been talking to a younger woman, yesterday I asked her out. Being told …

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3

WARNING: not coherent

February 26th, 2018by Lostsoul_20

I wonder how my shitty friends and rapist are doing being able to go to school and finish their degrees and accomplish their dreams right now? They don’t care the depression they put me through one bit. I bet they’re happy poor little depressed girl is not there to put a damp to their party. I bet others that don’t know of all the struggles my life has put me through laugh at how much of a failure I am. I bet all their futures look so bright while I sit here dim and dull wishing an everlasting night. Oh if I had known that …

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2

Open to talking venting

February 24th, 2018by Talos'Wife

I’m just so so tired really I don’t not want to be alive!  and this month has been so terrible for me really from November to now and on has been a living hell for me…  I just really do not want to be alive right now anymore I’m done but I feel I can’t go just yet I haven’t gave up hope he may be alive and come back and i could be happy… we can talk on here or Kik (AlucardsWaifu) or  email even( I’ll give email only on request)  whatever just feeling like talking with people who know what’s it’s like to …

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6

Dreams Of A Happier Life

February 23rd, 2018by IronWolf

Does anyone else constantly have dreams at night of lost loves, friends, or passions? Whenever I dream of those things, I feel much happier for the duration of my dream, only to wake up and continue living the much more lonely life that I do.

I can’t decide if I like having those dreams or not. They remind me of better times, but also remind me of how much worse things are now.

Would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

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2

Lotus

February 23rd, 2018by thetrashmen

In spite of how much I try,

or protest,

or submit,

my parents can’t seem to take me any longer.

I’m supposed to be whisked off to Virginia

to live with my grandparents.

I’ve never had much of a desire to go to the east coast,

and find it inferior to my own state.

But in giving into my depression,

I lost the opportunity for choice.

I won’t miss my parents as much as I’ll miss my friends,

I won’t miss my friends as much as I’ll miss my english teacher,

and I sure as hell won’t miss any of them as much as I’ll miss my rabbit.

 

 

I’ll live.

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3

Setbacks

February 22nd, 2018by Agnostic Angel

It feels like no matter what I do, no matter how much progress I make, I always end up making the same stupid, shitty mistakes that send me back to square one. Each time, I keep on thinking that I’ll know better, and that it won’t happen again. But it does. It always does. I screw up, and everyone around me is disappointed in me. It puts a black feeling in my stomach, and when I get like that, I can’t feel any emotions. But that doesn’t stop me from hurting people. Whether it’s my intention to or not, I end up hurting people when …

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1

save me

February 22nd, 2018by amesstoconfess

i went back to cutting. i think everything is falling apart, i dont belong anywhere, i just want to die. i want to kill myself. when i got home yesterday i had the urge to overdose but this time i almost went with it. i just stopped caring for the time being. i still dont know what to do. lord. someone save me.

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9

Can’t Stop Falling

February 21st, 2018by Sad Song

I’m killing myself as soon as my parents are gone long enough. Or try to at least. Take a bunch of sleeping pills, fill my tub with cold water and ice cubes, and try to catch hypothermia, or freeze to death. Funny how I cut but I’m afraid of pain…. I just want it to stop. My wrists are scarred, and I blame it on a cat I don’t even have. If you actually read this, I don’t want any sympathy, like “Don’t do it! You’re worth it!” Tired of that bullshit. 11 years old and already planning to die. I’m a failure.

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3

Sick day

February 21st, 2018by ataria-coronaria

I woke up this morning covered in hives. I still feel an oncoming fever and my lymph nodes are swollen. It hurts to breath. I also have had years of reoccurring tonsilitis and stones and they are back too. I spent 7 hours last night trying to clean and reorganize my moldy, dusty, shared basement in an attempt to de litter my life and combat stress. But, it seems to have been a bad idea because now I’m soooo sick.

I was saying two days ago if I have to live in my awful house with this shitty life much longer, I think I’m going to …

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8

My life has turned upside down and pushed me to the edge

February 21st, 2018by lostsoul21817

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that I would be writing here about my depression. I honestly never knew the impact of depression before I had it.

It all started when I joined college. During my school days, I was one of the most popular students and held various leadership titles. But now when I look at myself in the mirror, all I can do is regret about myself. I’ve joined college in a foreign country miles away from my family and friends. Plus this is also where my brother studied. I was really excited about everything and did pretty well for a …

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7

new here, feeling lost, venting

February 20th, 2018by ataria-coronaria

Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life

I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.

It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…

I still blame myself in a lot …

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11

Rant

February 18th, 2018by Taf Taf

I went tonight to the memorial of SS Oria.(I’ll attach photos at the end of this post,just to get an idea how the location is like)The SS Oria was (I’m copy-pasting from wikipedia) ” a Norwegian steamboat that sank on 12 February 1944, causing the death of some 4,000 Italian prisoners of war. This was one of the worst maritime disasters ever, and probably the worst loss of life caused by the sinking of a single ship in the Mediterranean Sea.”

I’ve been to this location 4-5 times.I don’t know why I go there.Maybe the loss of so many lives for no reason, draws me there.Maybe because …

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2

Revisiting old traumas

February 18th, 2018by ShortOne

i haven’t been on here for a year or so, and iv’e done so good in that amount of time i never wanted to slow down or look back at how i used to feel and cope with my depression. but i have poor stamina, and it’s caught up with me again.

 

I first visited this site in 2016 right after my parents had discovered my self harm and suicidal thoughts. At that time i was being emotionally and sexually abused by one of my closest “friends”, that had began a few years before but it peaked that year. The person who took advantage of me …

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2

An update

February 16th, 2018by Elysianvinyl

Hello! If you remember any of my last posts (I don’t blame you if you dont), I’m currently in a mental rehabilitation center as necessary due to my recent suicide attempt. They allowed me technology today.

They’ve been shoving psyciatric pills down my throat and it’s so annoying, but I guess whatever helps. I hope to be out by the end of March.

See you the next time Im allowed my phone. Stay strong.

~Alex.

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1

what to do?

February 16th, 2018by amesstoconfess

lately i’ve had trouble handling my emotions. i don’t know why.
my moods have been changing as fast as the snap of fingers, one minute i’m glad to be alive the next i want to end it all. my dad was the same way when we used to live with him. weeks of productive positive energy and then a month of not even getting out of bed. he has bipolar and my sister does too, so i’m suspecting i have it as well.

i was self harming daily for about three months until i became too lazy to even get out something sharp, and at least four …

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5

thanks a lot rachel

February 15th, 2018by Tonislav

i just asked my dad for help on my homework and he really f**king told me not to cut my veins because of it. thank you dad i really appreciate you helping me in life in general since you’ve been always by my side (not).

He worked on another country for about 6 years maybe more and yeah i know he is trying to earn money so i can be in a good school and get better education and shit but like seriously i left my country where all of my friends are, im having a shitty time here aaaand he still can’t fking help me …

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1

Failllllll mums birthday

February 15th, 2018by beautifulmonster

I feel even worthless today. It’s my mums birthday. I couldn’t even gas myself properly. What a fail. Now I have to wait till tommorow.

I’m really annoyed. I’m lying in my bed head hurts. I don’t want to be here another minute. I really don’t.

I cannot believe my own sister did not come to the hospital. So called ‘friends’ pfffttttt. Every dog for themselves. But my own family. Gronks yesterday on shit so they say I’m on G?! I fuvking don’t even like it. Hospital staff so rude. I’m begging them my chest was hurting and she kept telling me I took G. If I …

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2

Hello, I am nothing.

February 14th, 2018by Indiigo

It hurts. Everything hurts so much. I struggle every day and keep on going but for what ? The mask I put on every morning is cracking. My facade I built is fading and people are noticing. I have always been told I am the happy one, that I bring joy but what if I can’t supply that joy any more ? I have no more to give so I can only offer my sadness. My darkest of thoughts which I mistakenly bare for people to see. I shouldn’t have told anyone. I’m not happy anymore, I am hurt. Destroyed. The me that was once …

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1

i shouldn’t have depression, or have suicidal thoughts

February 14th, 2018by Blackdrook

This is frustrating, i don’t even know what to say. I apologize about the bad language ahead. So basically I‘m all fucked up right now because of something incredibly insignificant. My sister just went shopping, asks me to help her unload the car with groceries. So she tells me to be carefull with the eggs, puts them under the hood of the trunk. She didn’t tell she put them there. But i basically crushed them. I told her i didn’t see them nor meant it (god this is just my head – but i think she feels that was the intent). …

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1

February 14th, 2018by Blackbear

I just feel lonely..

I hate having this feeling like I’m just gonna end up alone, die alone

Etc

But I know if I do get someone

Idk how long they’re gonna stay with me

How is it gonna end, if there’s even a point because all of the times they would’ve said “I love you and I’ll always be by your side” were a lie something just to pull me into it and then fuck with my emotions..

Having to see an ex almost everyday it’s just taunting, there were no goodbyes

Lol don’t even fucking know what’s going …

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