I’m on the verge of crying. I feel depressed, I feel lonely and I feel heartbroken. When I really need them they aren’t here for me. The one who’s even been helping me isn’t even messaging me.. It makes me angry, It makes me frustrated to see he has time to communicate with my sisters but not with me. It makes me feel like I’m a total loser. It makes me feel regret for even liking him. He seems more interested in my sisters than he does of me. Seems he’s just keeping me company out of pity. It’s making me feel like killing myself. […]
I hadn’t intended to write something funny, but I felt so pathetic I felt ridiculous… and I had to laugh at myself.
Chain of events, but I will try to keep it as short as possible. So my doctor…never mind. Just know that I was so frustrated I started getting dizzy at work and had to hold back tears but that was really okay since I was just about to leave the office, and my friend suggested a psychiatrist. I was so RAARRRR I said it’d probably be the same… and he told me it wouldn’t. So I listened to music on the ~1h drive back […]
Oh my gosh, I have been trying to remember the name of this site for the life of me! I’ve looked every where for it for the past two years and then *BAM* I finally found it! No, I just went back through some of what I wrote and I feel bad for my past self; I was not a positive person, but I know it wasn’t my fault that I was depressed. No, here’s what’s happened the past couple years – p.s. sorry for the long story.
My best friend moved to Arizona in December of 2014; I missed her like crazy. I went out […]
Hey all, I’ve known and read through SP for a little while now and have now joined.
Where do I begin. “I hate my life”, I guess would be it. I think and say this most days now and my general demeanor is usually unhappy and frustrated at the state of my life. I know my life isn’t particularly a bad one, I mean its comfortable and easy (im 20 still looking for a job (that aint likely)) I get to do lots of nothing and play games most of the time so mostly I shouldnt really complain but screw mostly, I will if I want […]
“You have so much to live for.”
I don’t know how may more times I can listen to that. Anytime I talk to any friends or family it’s the same thing. They start by telling me how I am going through a rough patch and that it will all get better. They don’t offer any real advice. They half ass their responses and tell me how my future is going to be just fantastic. I am getting frustrated even thinking of it now. A severe case of anxiety and depression is no “rough patch”. I have been dealing with these issues since before I can remember. […]
The past so many regrets so many mistakes not even from me but from her so what my soul mate came back for me so much damage has been done and she has put herself in a complicated situation she can’t back out of her future will be complicated for so long even though she wants to share it with me now sge cant it was suppose to be our future the perfect future not this soon I’ll speak to a recruiter I still can’t have the perfect dream life might as well have the perfect dream death
I never thought I’d feel sick to my stomach with anger and dread, not wanting to go in to work. This has been the first full year that I’ve worked through a job, so I’ve never experienced anything like this before. And it’s the same thing I’ve heard my mom complain about why she absolutely loathes working. It’s because there’s always got to be some insufferable ***** there who makes everyone miserable!
So here’s what happened. The boss has been gone over a month now because she’s moving to another state. She’s supposed to be back at some point to tie up loose ends before she’s […]
Hate is a powerful word
People often think that I know nothing about history when I say anything (anything) negative or cynical about America.
My ancestors came over on a casket ship during the Irish potato famine and lived in America for many generations.
Many members of my family served/serving honorably in service there’s officers and purple hearts in my bloodline and if they saw me typing this they will beat me and clam it was in self defense and the judge will believe them because they work for government and I’m “special” and the only […]
I feel that friendship is more fragile and more important compared to a relationship. I don’t know, but it’s like whenever my friends suddenly act cold, it hurts so fucking bad I just add a few more cuts just to be able to feel. Fucking hell it makes no sense.
Honestly, it really fucking terrifies my how much of a hold this person has over me. All she has to do is say a word, and I think I’ll just fucking crumble. She’s not even the person I’m in a relationship with. But I’d rather lose him than her. It’s really difficult and just tiring to […]
You would think it doesn’t hurt anymore. When people come in my life, gain my trust and friendship, then rip away a piece of me as they walk away like I never meant anything to them. But the truth is, it hurts so much more each time it happens. It hurts so bad that I feel numb until another part of me disappears. It hurts so bad because of the feeling that I only ever made friends from pity and I cared about them more than myself. It hurts so bad that it puts me almost to tears, but then a dark part of me […]
I feel like I’ve tried everything and while sitting here at lowest actually LOOKING UP WAYS TO KILL MYSELF, I stumble upon this site.
And it’s like a whole new world opens up to me. For the past week and ever since 2007, I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts and the possibility of being severely depressed (I won’t self-diagnose myself but that’s the only way I can describe the way I feel). I’ve always been afraid to try and seek professional help mainly because I never thought I could pay for it. Now in my early 20’s, I have a full-time job and I’m STILL scared to […]
So I’ve been absent from this site for awhile. I’ve been busy clearing out my shit and NO WAY IN HELL would I have imagined what a heap of junk I’ve accumulated; I actually wish I had a huge pit of fire to throw it all into lol..I know this is something I have to do or I’ll feel like I’ve left a mess behind and I believe that would fuk me over if there is an afterlife..I’m just covering all my angles here. ITS STRESSFUL as for some reason I still have attachments to some of the junk but at the same time I’m […]
I’ve been in severe depression for so long now , that I cannot even remember what I was like before it. The human inside me has just died.I feel like I’m living in an empty shell. I’ve been fighting and fighting the pain. Every day feels like hell. I see a rope , I wanna hang myself , I see a knife , I wanna stab myself , I see a train , I wanna jump.I see a rooftop , I wanna drop down.
I love my parents and I’ve been living for them for the last 3 years . I cry every night , I […]