Stories of Hope

12

Febuary 4th, 2018 wasnt my last day on earth after all.

  February 6th, 2018 by Elysianvinyl

two days ago, i attemped to take my life. If you remember, i made a post on it a few hours prior. so, heres how that day went and where i am now.

That day i had waken up around 9pm. By 10 i had my mind made up. I ate breakfast, watched TV for a little while. After a couple hours, i began to secure the rope (i had previously bought it) to my ceiling fan, then i tied a hangmans knot that would so just fine.

I chose a chair and placed it underneath, standing on it with the rope around my neck. My adrenaline …

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4

Time to pick myself up [ My good bye note]

  February 5th, 2018 by Urm8451n

With days going on, I learn more and more about myself.

I had it hard in my life. I still am alone. I hid anything I can from people who know me in person.

But sometimes, I feel like I had enough.

I decided, hope for long, to stop crying and ranting about my life. I want to move on, and IF my focus will stay on – “what is bad in my life”, or what bothers me, or all those horrible things that are living in my past and present – then I would never overcome those demons.
If …

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5

General thoughts on teen suicide

  February 4th, 2018 by Taf Taf

I’ve been reading many posts made by teenagers and, I won’t lie to you, I feel so sad. They’re young and they still have a lot of time ahead of them.Being young is tough,parents can be a pain in the ass a lot of times and being a student can be sometimes unbearable.But still,they can pursuit their dreams,they can try for what they want and certainly they can achieve many things.

In 2016 I read about a 16 year old girl in my country who committed suicide.Her classmates have been bullying her,because she was overweight.Three months ago I read about a young boy in my hometown who …

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1

Updating as promised + Advice, study related

  January 30th, 2018 by Urm8451n

Tomorrow is the beginning of February, which holds with in it 4 major finals.

To start with I want to say sorry for the last disturbing posts.
I use uppers [- Ritalin- ] to treat my ADHD, and it definitely causes heavy downs and other irrelevant side effects.

I’ve promised to update: I decided to let go of this site for a while, let go off whatsapp, facebook, 9gag and etc.
I know myself, and I know what I need for my own good.

Plans motivates me best, and I will from now on, focus on the studying and on the craving of achieving 100.
—- …

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11

Coming clean, I had psychopathic needs.

  January 28th, 2018 by Urm8451n

Few years ago, I was a dead boy walking down the school’s corridors. Walking back, forth, between rooms for each class, and from there back to the empty house.

I always had knew what was expecting me at that house.
I always feared from those ‘good’ days. I was so.. under pressure, I could have felt that life is a – if you enjoy today, tomorrow you will be in sorrow, and if you are really lucky, your suffering will start from the same day you dared to fucking smile.

I kept my mouth shut for so long, didn’t feel anyone around me. They were merely humans to …

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4

I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.

  January 26th, 2018 by niki

Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.

I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & …

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1

Going to be 24 years old soon….

  January 23rd, 2018 by tinydaisy22

Years ago, I woke up one day without a fear of my own choices or actions. I didn’t feel time. I didn’t know what age was. Age was just a number that silently reminded everyone of another year that gets us closer to our death.

Hearing the number “24” is nothing to an even older person. It’s as if the youth evaporates into the sky when our age consumes our identity. So, if “24” is nothing then when will we become something? At what age will we start to exist in this world? When will the youth be able to stretch their legs out without the …

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0

Empty

  January 16th, 2018 by lonely2k14

So it’s been a long time since I’ve been on this site. Last month, was the worst month I’ve ever been through. No, I didn’t self harm, because, i was way past that point. I was at the point where i felt certain pain and had emotional breakdowns often, but i felt genuinely empty now. Before, I often had reasons as to why I would feel particularly horrible one day, more so than before. But last month, I just was horribly in emotional pain for all 31 days. My grades dropped so much and the drive I had to succeed in school and life was …

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2

What’s today?

  January 10th, 2018 by Mosaic

I will be strong,
I made up my mind

So why look back,
Theres still hope in sight.

Day by day,
Step by step

These little things I will never forget.

I once was weak,
But this is my day

I will be strong,
Get the fuck out my way.

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3

Just a video

  January 9th, 2018 by eeyore

This is a video I thought was ummm inspirational idk the word to describe this video doesn’t exist

if you do watch this tell me ur thoughts

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0

this is kinda dumb, but bear with me, i guess

  January 8th, 2018 by Benjamith

its been over a year since i last used this site. things havent been easy, but theyve been getting better, if only slightly. the 2017 new year made me feel so much more at ease with who i was, and though all of 2017 was a bit of a mess, i managed to not kill myself. i’m doing better, even if it is only by a small margin. i found some friends who have similar issues, and i feel really comfortable around them. i havent dumped my semi-asshole boyfriend, cause we’re only going to be seeing eachother for another few months before we graduate, at …

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4

Looking Back

  January 7th, 2018 by colourandlight

  1. I spend a lot of time looking back. Especially recently.

Aged 9. Started self harming.

Aged 10. Tried to throw myself out of the window (several times).

Aged 11. Couldn’t understand why I was the way I was. What was wrong with me.

Aged 12. Distractions. Life. I wasn’t any better, but things kept moving.

Aged 13. Minor improvements. Self acceptance.

Aged 14. Good. Not great, but good. Acceptance. Progress. Self medicating through reading.

and life continued much the same until last year. Not good. Not bad. Clear head at least.

 

I met someone. We’ll call him Oscar. Or O.

He was amazing. A recovering alcoholic, who’d been driven to drink by the …

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5

happy new year

  January 1st, 2018 by iamdarling

happy new year

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4

Remembering those who fight

  December 30th, 2017 by SilentVoices

I remember the psychiatric wards.

I remember the ice cold floors in the morning, and walking barefoot to the unlockable bathrooms to take a piss. Rolling out of the beds in a drugged daze for the nurse to take my vitals.

”How are you feeling this morning?”

”Fine.”

I remember the series of emotions that flow through me as I process my situation again- for the 5th day in a row:

How long am I going to be here for?

Oh God, I can’t believe I’m (back) here. How the hell do I explain this to everyone? Am I crazy? Does anyone even know I’m in here?

This isn’t so bad, right?

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2

God has answered my prays, I was reborn-ed.

  December 28th, 2017 by Urm8451n

Hey, good day for all of you.
This will be my last post

, because I have changed, and I’m quit-ing this site.
For those who didn’t follow my posts, or read the last posts of mine, I wanted to wake up today, fearless and with out feelings.

Fully honest with all of you strangers: for the last days I have been fighting in my mind, over the control of this body. As if I fought with my “anxiety” persona, which fears failures. Today I guess my other persona won, because I’m fearless. I’m focused on what I want and when I want it.

I’m just a kid, I …

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5

Never felt so mentaly naked

  December 24th, 2017 by Urm8451n

I’ve been told by a psychologist, that my “inner sensitive /feeling persona” is being held chained and at a close space inside my mind. He also stated that I’m good at dividing between having this horrible pains due sickness, and between fully functioning at my life and doing the best I can. He explained that my feeling persona gets to the conscious only when it has strength, and that happens when it is mad, or which when I’m mad.

He said that right after the pain stops, I totally repressive it from my consciousness, and I do it for …

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1

I want this. I WANT THIS . I WILL MAKE IT CUZ I WANT THIS

  December 23rd, 2017 by Urm8451n

FUCK YOU TOO.
No , I never really bothered to look for you,
It was all I had from the start
Just a few rocks in hand, and a real big heart.
I cared so much for others, but missed the whole idea of them being there for me.
Maybe it was me,
Or they just didn’t care for it.

But in the end, there is all I have had,
Mom is down, and my hands are bared.
Perhaps I should have outsmarting it ?
Age 5 is great for a start

Get ready before anyone knows you,

Be prepared to defend yourself,
Learn how to make it though
Before they get you too.

I wish I had known my …

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1

Just a post

  December 22nd, 2017 by wanderer

Well ,since I’m back here . It’s either good news or bad news . Not like anyone I know irl reads this . But I gotta just say . I am thankful for you guys (both my irl friends and sp friends ) thank you for being there and supportive and enable me to go through this tough time.

This isn’t what I called a faked positivity post that’s  trying hard to lighten up the atmosphere here .

Honestly ,I am scared of the future and what my past can hold me back . I keep feeling this and that ,keep thinking about what others opinions of …

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3

Not Suicidal Anymore

  December 21st, 2017 by Draknes

Okay,Yeah the heading just gave away the fact that I am not suicidal anymore. But then why did I sign up for this depressing site?
Because I want to tell my story to someone who gives a fuck! And wont classify me as a Creep or Liar or Stupid or Attention seeker! There is only one person who understood me and she cut herself too. Cutting! I was never able to do that because I couldn’t bear my mother’s face if she so it.
There are two people who had a hand in me getting over my depression and I can never

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3

How my life has changed for the better/ worst

  December 6th, 2017 by texasmedic

I’ve had a lot on my mind tonight and I figured I’d write this to maybe help someone. I’m a 24 year old Paramedic and I’ve been in 911 for 5 years and I love my job. Back in 2014 I was in a motorcycle wreck in April, to keep things short I broke my leg, foot, wrists, hands, and had internal damage. After almost 6 months of therapy I went back to work. During that time frame I had two immediate family deaths, found out my Dad was a pill addict for the past (then) 10 years, and a friend of mine killed himself …

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