Stories of Hope

2

I found hope, some things are unexpected

  November 24th, 2017 by Jombo

Hello guys! I haven’t used this website in 2 years and seeing my older posts are quite a strange experience. I came here in 2014 because isolation and depression pushed me to the edge, rock bottom, or whatever. Started feeling depressed 10 years ago! It’s my Sadniversary and I thew up my birthday cake. My birthday was wednesday and I had a violent indigestion, because why the hell not.  Well this feeling persists, yet again. The reason I’m here today is because even if I do feel this pain, this need to die, this very heavy weight of self shame and being worthless, it is …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Fairy tale

Fairy tale

  November 9th, 2017 by ThirdClassWorldCitizen

Previously: The seventh

I don’t like happy endings. I don’t like sad endings. I don’t like endings!

I feel terrible when I am at the last few pages of a book or in the last few episodes of a series, especially those whose characters I can relate to or whose stories I wish I could have lived. Close to the end I have to face the fact it’s all fiction, the product of someone else’s mind, that the characters and their stories will forever end with a period or with the credits and everything will vanish — OK, there might be sequels, but at …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

.

  November 2nd, 2017 by quaero

Why is the lust of life so attracting? What do I get out of it? I get nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Any reasonable person would give it up at the first sight of awareness towards it. It is a useless time waster and suffering giver. When it gets too much I leave it and follow some of the practices i learned and which i trust. they always help me. they have so much truth in them, they are very much reasonable and i have substantial reason and evidence to follow them. i start feeling good and start improving. but after a day or two, its, …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

  October 28th, 2017 by niki

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

Human’s imagination is better than reality !

Movie / Movies is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Game / Games is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Comic / Comics book is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Novel / Novels is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Science fiction ( sci-fi ) is better than …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

.

  October 21st, 2017 by quaero

I’m in the make or break position. I can go back to “their way”. or I can keep trudging on mine. Any sane person would take theirs hands down. There are millions of students preparing years after years for the jobs i left. If I had a clear mind in the beginning i would’ve saved seats for at least 2 of them. Why do I hate society so much? Social structures are dead and i just cannot endure being bound. I have zero problem in the specifics. if a ‘social person’ comes specifically to me to talk about a specific thing i would have zero …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

So you survived.

  October 20th, 2017 by vooder

It’s been nearly 5 years since you crawled into that basement expecting to die.

You’re 26 now (an age you swore you’d never see). You’ve met some cool new people over the past 5 years. You graduated college, got a job, and moved into your own apartment. You adopted a cat, and she’s become your best friend. You’re off all those meds now, and you feel stable, comfortable even. You haven’t self-harmed in 3 years. Your parents are finally proud of you.

You’re still lonely (and getting lonelier with each passing year). You’ve lost some old friends, due to distance or death. You had a mental breakdown and …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

I am healing

  October 18th, 2017 by lonewolf23

My father was holding me back in life and I hadn’t realized this until now that i moved out. I feel happier these days, happier than I’ve ever felt in a while. My insecurities are quickly vanishing within a matter of weeks. I had forgotten how social the real me was. Surprisingly I’m quite impressive with the ladies. I can sleep better too.

My fathers’ anger has empowered me to take a leap of faith into unknown territory but to my surprise I’m doing just fine living in an apartment by myself….more than fine…I feel awesome!! I will sacrifice a mansion for a healthy mind any …

Processing your request, Please wait....
18

Give me a chance

  October 16th, 2017 by uniiicorn

I know a lot of people may choose to ignore this, if so, i hope you skip breakfast the next day (kidding). However, im hoping that there is one person, just one, who hears me out. Im not asking for a reply, though feel free to do so if you wish. I think i’ve blabbered enough, so let me get to the point:

Im losing my mind.

Every depression help center i go to, or any article i see, i see in bold:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, IT WILL GET BETTER. HELP IS EVERYWHERE.

I wish i could believe the nice people down at ‘the guardian’, but frankly i …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Hacked, struggling, surviving

  October 15th, 2017 by CARLOSPEJUAN

I will make it. I’m having a lot of problems, but for the first time, I’m able, capable and willing even of feeling the will to be alive. I want to live for once and I already see the difference in so many of my actions. I fear my roommates are injecting me with steroids at night. I fear the problem was low T the whole time. But I am getting checked for that specific reason. 🙂

I know I can do this. I don’t know how or why I think I was actually hacked, and people were harrasing online. These people are now calling …

Processing your request, Please wait....
10

Last post here, time for a goodbye :’)

  October 11th, 2017 by Urm8451n

-introduction –     This is my last post here, not suicidal though.
I believe I have completed a shift from the young boy I was 4 years ago, to the man I am.
I wanted to share some experiences and conclusions of my travel through agony, happiness, loss, and faith. I wanted to give you other users, the tools I learned, from others.
This shall be a post with my final words to this community.

I have completely ditched social media, removed my accounts from internet sites, stopped playing video games, focused on my own personality, and my family’s health state.
Today I accomplish to sustain a normal life. Although …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

I wasn’t prepared…. were you ?

  October 10th, 2017 by Urm8451n

Good day you all,
This post will include; panic attack, co op failure, overcoming love.
Added bold words to make reading easier and able to jump
edit: Also added conclusions down the page. 

start Today I had a great day, studied, and got few compliments, perhaps even started few new social relationship here or there.
It is really nice to start a new page at a university.
But…
change in events I went back home, a friend contacted me, he asked if I wanna go out with him like we did two days ago. Back then [8.10.17] he said “I want you to know that I completely respect you, and I haven’t done anything with …

Processing your request, Please wait....
8

Had my first tdcs today

  October 9th, 2017 by lostallhope001

Hi guys, not sure if everybody knows my story and who/how I am

I am a 23 year old female who was born and lives in Belgium. But my parents were born and raised in Morocco. I am a narcissist with social anxiety/socially awkward type of person. So I hate myself for being narcissistic and deep down I always felt it is not okay to be so celf centered. I hated my own behavior and I hated it even more that my bad behavior (using others etc) didn’t give me any feeling of remorse or guilt.

Past friday I had an intake for tdcs treatment with the …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Loneliness… don’t u feel it?

  October 8th, 2017 by Urm8451n

I have been standing outside the house for a while, letting my thoughts hit hard on love and company.

I really miss my ex, but not because she was someone who gave me trust. But because she was something to hug, hold and have sex with.

It’s easy to remember our time together as lovely,  but in fact it wasn’t as so. therefor I decided to quit it, and even then I’m still missing that hug.

I feel like play Chas game against “time”,  as if some kind of persona,  shaped like a standing clock, is over thinking me at a chess game, and slowly winning.

I wish I …

Processing your request, Please wait....
9

Broken Psychopath

  October 7th, 2017 by MonsterNamedKira

I haven’t been honest with a human being a single time, in probably 6 years. I dont understand why others dont lie constantly. I guess others don’t really fit into the sick fuck category either. Honestly though, the deep emptiness inside me seems a little “Extra!” Just a constant void ripping every way inside you, constant and cold. I cant imagine actually feeling anything anymore, it seems impossible. My feeling has been turned off for only a few years and yet they seem like surreal fairy tales you’d tell a tired child at night. But dont misunderstand when Im allowed complete isolation from others, some …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

Standing through the waves

  October 6th, 2017 by Urm8451n

Lately, with my mind and experience expanding, I learn to accept more burden and horrors as a road obstacles.
It is as if I’m riding my car through a bumpy road. Sometimes in encountering a fallen tree, or just small pockets.

I learnt to survive by my own, and followed the importance of knowledge. Right now I’m following my plan to use academic education as a “way out ticket”.

I will try to concur the highest summits man has ever seen, only to let myself the relief to live quietly and alone , perhaps allowing me to build a normal family (unlike my ancestors).

I know the road, or …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Getting better

  October 6th, 2017 by Rosebrider

A while back, I posted how I wanted to kill myself. It’s been a month since I made that and things have gone better. Although, the thoughts have come and gone since then. It’s just a matter of me getting use to everything right now. I still question a lot about what the future has in store for me but I really hope that things will turn out okay in the end.

Here’s to hoping I make it until December.

Processing your request, Please wait....
11

Relapse.

  September 25th, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

5 days ago I lost 136 days of being clean of cutting. It might seem like nothing but it took all of me to get past those 136 days. When I broke them it wasn’t like always. Right now, I feel so shitty about myself and I’m in a really bad place. I got through the last school year taking vitamin supplements because the doctor told me to do so. I stopped them about 2-3 months ago and for the past week I’ve been feeling so down and tired all the time. Last night, I slept for the longest I have ever slept since school …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Sin.

  September 22nd, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

“Wanting to die, is a sin”

Our English teacher read that line. I was in shock. I could hear people whispering and laughing. No one seemed to care. How could she say that? How could the author of the book write about that? How do they want people to admit that they have been wanting to die when they are being taught that it is a sin? Telling us that, would only make us wish we were dead already. We have already got the sin, haven’t we? Why wait around and collect more sins by thinking the way we do?  Wanting to die isn’t a choice, …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Relapse.

  September 22nd, 2017 by Eccedentesiastsoul

Ever since school started I haven’t been posting since I barley have time to breathe. I visited the hospital about 2 weeks ago since the headaches and chest pain proceed. The doctor gave me pills for a week and immediately checked my oxygen level thinking it had something to do with my asthma. After we left the hospital my parents gave me shit not only because the doctor said it was nothing but also because I forgot my identity card at home. I’m starting to forget things for some reason and I want it to stop. If I keep on forgetting things I won’t be …

Processing your request, Please wait....
9

I didn’t jump. I lived to see my 16th birthday! :-)

  September 19th, 2017 by Dawnstar

Broken Arch

I’m not suicidal at this time, and this story, although true, has taken place in the past. Perhaps writing this is part of my own integration process, and maybe it can help somebody else, I don’t know? Anyway, hello everyone, and to quote Hannah from 13 Reasons Why, “It’s me, live and in stereo”! 😉

Unlike the Netflix series, I wish I could list specific reasons why I became suicidal. I wasn’t raped by a family member or anything like that, and I really have a life which (although certainly far from perfect) I’m sure many would be envious …

Processing your request, Please wait....