For those who have passed on.
A story of a man losing what meant most to him.
For those who have passed on.
A story of a man losing what meant most to him.
To those who suffer and think that suicide will end the pain, I have a message for you…..
The moment I met you,
it didn’t take much.
We fell in love,
now my heart you clutch.
In your beautiful hand,
on your beautiful arm.
You shied away,
I turned on my charm.
A little blue pill with molly and glass
put our relationship on turbo,
we were going fast.
I ran from home,
left all that I knew.
To be with my love.
To be with you.
I sit here alone,
wishing and wanting
you to be by my side.
This feeling is haunting
my thoughts day and night.
I lie awake hoping
the words you said were true,
we will soon be eloping.
IÂ pray while I’m here,
your feelings don’t alter.
Last night I had a dream
of you at the alter.
Before I finish this poem,
I want you to […]
Speakings from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the Punk Rock 101 Courses over the years, it’s my first introduction to the, shall we say ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has been proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to, as well as creating music, along with really writing something for too many years now. I feel guilty […]
“I really don’t see the point, in all of this, anymore. Things would be better if I just ended it. I think I might…”
You write down how you feel. but people dont really know how hurt you are cause they cant hear your voice the tune the stutter the pain. suicide is the right thing to do.
i have been depressed for years…since i was 11 and started middle school. god knows, it started with ‘voices’. that’s the lie i’ve told everyone and to this day it haunts me how i can look someone straight in the face and tell a dark and deep lie.
many attempts were made…all included pills of some kind. it didn’t matter which ones…advil, aleeve, tylenol, parents prescription pills, solodyn, sleeping pills, anything.
but now…after years of attempts, about 2 months ago i was admitted into the psych ward emergency room at new york presbyterian hospital and i stayed there for 4 days (it was a cell…literally a three […]
I am 38 years old. My wife is 30.  She is Native American and we met at a Casino that we both were working at. I grew up close to two reservations but never knew anyone that lived there until I started working for the Casino. Since then I have seen so many young deaths on the reservation. I too get sad and depressed and feel like I can not go on. But then I think about the people I would hurt in the process. As I read some of the articles on this project website I understand that there is loneliness. It is the ultimate […]
After briefly browsing through the posts on this blog, I immediately became panicked at the number of people who want to kill themselves.
And I’ve been there. I’ve been to that place where your chest feels like it weighs a thousand pounds, where you feel dark and cold and numb and totally alone. Where you feel like no one’s there to help you, no one wants to help you… I’ve been there. And I’ve come back, though still affected.
Depression happens, just for some (like us) it takes a stronger toll. It’s been almost 4 years since my depression first started due to bullying at school. However, I […]
People call me crazy, but I’m not.
I can weave words into sentences that flow like the strands of a spider web and make even the most skilled arachnid feel ashamed, but I won’t always do it.
There’s this man that lives next door to me who calls himself “Dex” which is probably short for Dexter but he won’t say.
Everyday I go over there after school and sit at Dex’s counter while he brings me a banana popsicle (they are always banana).
A couple weeks ago our visit was different.
“Are you going to tell me a story, Dex?” I asked him, the popsicle juice sliding down my throat […]
I am not looking for sympathy nor am I looking for it but there was a quote I wrote and this story explains it… I just want people to understand where the quote came from…
Quote:
“My head is banging, my brain complaining, my body hurting, my thoughts are roaring. Pain is all there is. My life is tumbling my emotions are mumbling… God please help me. I don’t know what to do… my fears are living, taking over me. My mouth is tumbling as I try to say goodbye… but, my body can’t take the pressure as the words goodbye slipped from my mouth. You […]
If there is 100 people in the room and if suddenly a dragon came,it will choose only me to kill.Only i will be unlucky among all.This happens every times.I build my house with hopes,and it get broken every time.Why i am so unlucky?? Why i have to face all bad things every time.What is my fault.I am a general person with some general dream and wish in my life.Then why you choose me to destroy.I just want to ask this question to the god,when i will be there.I have no support from my family & friends.When everyone needs me,they come with there sweet words and […]
Ill make it short and to the point. I’ve had AIDs for 20 years. Most that time i have been fine, but the last 5 years have caught up with me. My husband of 15 years died of cancer with aids complications. My health has improved since starting the fowl, shitty feeling drugs they give you to prolong your life. Â I have been so darned alone since my husband died. Ive tried dating, but i have to date someone that is also sick, and most those people i know, are worse off than i am, and have no hope for the future. I started seeing […]
I suppose I’m writing this down as a way of trying to understand the situation but to be honest I doubt I will
The pain is immense, I can’t go on I scream at GOD and ask why? But there is no answer. I can’t go on living, feeling what I feel. The torment is eating me alive, I am dying inside, just as I found hope, it was snatched away from me. Whilst writing this I can no longer envision a future, I no longer have hope, everything has been taken from me. From my fiancée, to my daughter and my unborn children, my life […]
 So, I currently just turned 17 years old last Saturday (The 13th, bad sign eh?) I’ve always been a fairly short male, which is fine by me, I love being short. I’m underweight at an amazing 93 pounds. When I was too young to remember, my parents got divorced. I had to live with my father. I’ve always been a person to be extremely shy..and I have VERY few interests. My only interests are video games, and very very slightly poker. I spent most of the time playing video games. At about the age of 10 or so, I began to understand the kind of […]
I had a great life until I got raped and sick almost 5 years ago. Since them, I’ve been trying to get my life back.
I’ve been there.
A place no one wants to go.
Not ever.
Being touched in bed at night, to being beaten unconscious.
Life never gets better for me.
I now lay awake at night scared of him coming in.
Scared to close my eyes and I’d open them and he’d be there.
That pain never goes away in my mind.
I have scars from all of the pain he caused me.
Cutting is my main coping resource, suicide running through my mind everynight.
The want to just end it all makes my brain freeze in time.
One day it will be over, and I’ll be […]
For those contemplating i have been there and would like to share abit. Year 2002 After battling depression for years, drove my car 75 miles an hour into a semi-tractor trailor, slit my wrists, tried smoke inhalation.Am still here. My conclusion 1. only God has the finally say. 2. He must have created me for a reason.3. He does not give us all the answers immediately concerning life and difficulties. 4. most answers i have found in the bible when no one else could answer.5. This life is not easy and will never be. 6. This life does seem and may be is unfair in […]
I stopped seeing my psychiatrist and psychologist because I thought I was better. I went cold turkey and suddenly stopped taking 225mg Venlafaxine a day and the 10mg Zyprexa (Anti Depression and Anti Psychotic Medications). It worked. Its been 2 years since taking them, and I think I just realised that nothing has changed. I never got better. Just deluded thoughts kept me going.
If it is any use to anyone – If a doctor trys to give you Zyprexa…. dont take it. do yourself a favour. I hit the point I would take any help I could get. Anti psychotic? Sure, throw me it, it […]
Hello.
I in the past wrote a post on this website entitled “Endless Future.” I am happy to tell you all, that I am still here, in this world existing as I always have, and always will. I came back, though, not to tell you I am living a wonderful life full of blessings and happiness. My life is as it always has been: darkened by the clouds of misery and misfortune. Â I enrolled in a fiction class at my local college. I have been excelling, but I came to the realization that no matter how much I enjoyed writings stories about people who don’t exist, […]
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