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Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

Endless Race.

by Pacific
written by Pacific

In a couple of days I will run through the paper banner that states in bold letters, “ONE MONTH” and I will feel the satisfaction of finishing the race.

Except, when I run through, I’ll discover that the race has not truly ended. As I look down the path, I can see an uninterrupted flow of paper banners that state the oncoming months.

“JANUARY, FEBRUARY, MARCH”

When someone you love dies, the journey to normalcy is long and monotonous. It’s running through banners after banners until the words become a blur and the sound of the starting pistol becomes vibrations that echo out of your ears.

I can understand […]

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Lost and Alone

by PikaGirl6
written by PikaGirl6

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A firefighter saved my life last year, and then this year, when he left, he took my life with him.

 

We met last year and we fell completely in love, the only problem is that i was 17 ad he was an adult already. Everything was going perfect. We fell in love, as I said, and i fell in love with his children. I knew that I was happy and we knew we would be happy together. When i got back from my dad’s for […]

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nothing good

by breathme
written by breathme

i’ve probably been staring at this page for an hour now trying to figure out what i’m suppose to say. I have butterflies in my stomach right now, i googled suicide. plain and simple and a hotline number came up and this site. I’ve only told two people my story that haven’t been there with me themselves. but the people that that we’re “with me” threw it weren’t really with me at all because that might have been there for the things that have pushed me to whee i am but i guess they don’t fully understand. the first person i told, he helped me […]

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The Cat With 9 Lives

by SailorMoon
written by SailorMoon

 

A handsome cat with 9 lives went on a date, 

He tried to jump, but she saved him, so he has eight. 

A confused cat with 8 lives was locked on a cage that is wooden, 

But someone opened it, so he has seven. 

A scared cat with 7 lives built a fire with sticks, 

He burnt himself, but there was water,  so he has six. 

A happy cat with 6 lives has a good vibe, 

But it was ultimately perished,  so he has five. 

A desperate cat with 5 lives knocked on someone’s door, 

But he was rejected, so he has four

An angry cat with 4 lives went to the sea, 

He tried to […]

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The Ugly Truth

by PainNlife
written by PainNlife

I think some people think after they die people will scream and cry and have so much sympathy for them and finally understand what they went through…that all their former or current friends will have so much guilt about it and loathe themselves….that the president of the united states will personally attend their funeral to pay his respects….that celebrities will come from afar to attend your funeral….well….I have some news for you….nobody will give a shit like you think they will….

Sure people might show up at your funeral crying and saying “how they wished they could have helped” and “how they loved you so much” […]

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the feeling your fat but your not

by lissbabe
written by lissbabe

im fat inside by a lot but when i look in the mirror im skinny as fuck, i hate it the feeling of eating makes me just want to cry over it and then when i think about self harm i want to cut, the amount of calerioes i have to eat for my family i dont want them to know that  hate eating because i feel so fat i feel like im eating so much, its the demons in my head i cant live like this any more i want to die but i know the people that love me will miss me i […]

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Vacuum

by Rabbit
written by Rabbit

As the minutes continue to tick by it’s like  silent electric shocks inside me. I don’t jump or scream, but the pain is as real as my hand. I have to give my eyes credit for all the tears they’ve cranked out again and again. I’ve almost become convinced that there is no reason I am here but to suffer. We are born to be broken. And if I leave right now, no one would miss me. No one except my family even knows who I am. I’ll be on the college paper for a day and be forgotten the next. I always am forgotten […]

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They bullied me. And it still affects me.

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

Well, I’ve been bullied for more than 11 years, 8 of them were really worse. It started all at primary school at the age of 4. For the first in my life I went to school. But after a while my classmates didn’t wanted to play with me any more, or I had the ‘not-populair’ role. When we had to play outside, I played usually alone. Not because I didn’t wanted to play with them, but how hard I tried, they didn’t wanted to play with me. This all may seem very innocent to you, but it was the beginning of all the problems I […]

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Help me understand this please! She is me.

by cass121
written by cass121

How on earth could I be fair that a 17 year old girl who is doing her trial HSC exams get pregnant, that’s not the unfair part, the unfair part is that she was so happy she realised that this child would be her reason to live, this child could save her, she was so happy, she was so ready, she knew she would probably be a single mother, but that was ok, she had support, she wanted to keep it, but no, she miscarried, she was so distraught that her depression became worse than ever, she began a month long bender, during which she […]

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I’m tired

by Browneyed
written by Browneyed

I’m so tired of feeling the way I do. I’m tired of having to be strong and smile, acting like I’m perfectly fine. I’m so TIRED of it. Nothing great has ever happened in my life except tragedy and the last one i experienced has completely pushed me to my breaking point. No therapy helps and I refuse to tell my mother how I feel because she doesn’t understand what I have been through. No one does, but I’m on here only to prevent myself from trying to kill myself. I don’t think any of you actually care, you don’t know me or what I’ve […]

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The middle[trash]east

by Kleopatra
written by Kleopatra

I’m  from the middle east. Female, ex-muslim, the worst combination in the worst place. Anyway, I’m not doing so well socially too.

There’s a big community of atheists on Facebook which I joined, and even there I just couldn’t express myself or get involved with them.

I just don’t belong anywhere. I lived as an expat in another country here in the region, and kept moving all the time so never had the chance to make friends, or fit in a stereotype which people would accept. I’m just an awful mix of everything I’ve seen or heard.

I’ve been through alot of shit, just like everyone else,  obviously. […]

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QUESTIONS

by shhhh
written by shhhh

i have been friends with my friend (who we will call clair) for 7 years and friends with my other friend (who we will calldave) for jus about 1yr now clair and dave have started dating but clairs 20 (21 soon) and dave 15 (jus turned a month ago) and are dating the whole situation is makin me sick even wen i hear other people talki about it . i seem to b the only one hu dis situation disgusts. im acc considering not speaking to either of dem again. so i wanna ask you guys a few questions and i know if dave […]

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Home But So Far From Happy

by zebragirl1984
written by zebragirl1984

I am back home from the hospital…spent 10 days in ICU…had surgery on Tuesday and they discharged me on Wednesday…but I feel so horrible…while I was there I heard countless Code Blues and kept wondering why I kept waking up the next morning, or from a nap…its not fair…I don’t belong here…no one wants me here…the one person I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with, the one person I thought understood me more than anyone else bc he was in the same boat…is gone…I have no one…nothing…I am no one…but yet I am stuck…trapped here with no reason to live and with […]

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Death Demon

by VictoriaDrew13
written by VictoriaDrew13

She’s mearly 16.

Still fragile and afraid.

She hasn’t actually been in

the real world since 8th grade.

She’s fine

or so she says.

She’s calm for all we know,

but when the darkness goes

away, and she starts to show,

you realize, she’s living with the demon

that’s inside all of us.

She’s too afraid to show it.

Honestly, she barely even knows.

She always try to smile,

and even tries to pose.

But when someone so young,

is just sad as can be,

there’s […]

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Alone

by naww
written by naww

I feel so disturbed, like I’m  going to puke from how upset I am.

I just felt so distant from people today; I knew the people I saw weren’t malicious, but I couldn’t help but feel so far away nevertheless. It made me real lonely.

Then I was pretty much ignored by someone who was supposed to be a friend, and I snapped. My eyes got sore with held back tears and I drifted even further from people,where I was only feeling a constant pain. The worst thing about it all was that inside I felt terrible, but in the crowd I was in at the time […]

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by hellblau
written by hellblau

I’ve been awake. But asleep inside. I hate being alone, but i don’t like company. I miss you like hell. But i won’t let you know.

I’m well aware of how it aches , and you still won’t let me in.

Asleep or dead.

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How It All Began

by unperfect_one
written by unperfect_one

Hey.

This is my first entry. I’ve never really been good with describing my pain or how I feel. So, bare with me, okay? I live in Montreal, Canada. My parents aren’t married and they have four kids, myself included. This has a lot to do in my life so it’s important that you note this.

I began to feel depressed when I was ten. My older sister, Veronica, was the main reason to my bullying. She always pushed me around and made me feel like shit. You might say that everyone feels like this at one point, right? Possibly. But what made this worst was that […]

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don’t want to try anymore

by tiredofthis
written by tiredofthis

i’m 25 male. no drive left to even type. don’t care enough to use grammar. have a baby girl. everything else, i don’t care. just want to sleep, not wake. tried no food water yesterday but wife started kicking me until i had food and drinks. i don’t like suicide. want to make look like accident.

i can’t feel emotion anymore except unhappiness, so no point in going on. just tired of trying. everything is boring except baby girl. should do this now before she’s old enough to remember.

don’t want to read response about don’t do it. i’m like a car that’s totaled, it’s hopeless and […]

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It’s not going to get any better

by ThatMetalChick
written by ThatMetalChick

I hate it. I hate everyone. Especially myself.

I hate going to school, getting out of bed, putting on a fake smile and pretend to give a shit. I don’t do my homework because I’m too lazy, then I don’t want to go to school the next day because I haven’t done the work. I stopped trying a long time ago.

I hate sitting in class. I sit there, never knowing what the fuck the teacher is talking about. I don’t want to know anyways. I sit there, fake smile pasted on my face. Then I get an anxiety attack. Then I have to try not to […]

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“See you on the other side” A letter to my brother, Nathan Riggs

by Joel Riggs
written by Joel Riggs

Nathan,

I was really upset when you decided to take your own life back on June 23, 2002 and still think of it almost every day. I know you must have been going through some rough times but I really wish you would have contacted one of us (your family)for support. We had our share of fights growing up that I thought I would never forgive you for. As I sit here today writing this letter I can honestly say that I forgive you. There are so many things that I held onto over the years, maybe I could have learned to get over them and […]

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