Category:

Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

sad

by Uselss 1/11/2022

written by Uselss

It was a Monday, there always rough so I decided it was the best time. I researched the most painless ways but I didn’t have any options other than a knife. I tried multiple times before but I didn’t have the courage, but I knew this time it was it. I secretly grabbed a knife and sliced my stomach, I realized that I should have done it on my heart afterwards and fell to the floor. It was so painful and I saw my family members all crying while I was lying down. Honestly, its not worth it unless you have no family because your […]

1/11/2022 0 comment

i attempted thursday night

by damidami 12/4/2021

written by damidami

its funny, this was my fourth attempt, usually i plan out everything in advance, but this was so spontanious, i just felt an urge. i failed, sadly and my boyfriend was spam calling me, i picked up and i heard him sobbing, asking me why, telling me hes sorry and my heart broke. his voice and how he sobbed has been replaying in my mind past few days and i just feel awful about it now. i just feel selfish for causing all of this pain to him. im tired.

12/4/2021 1 comment

No One to Blame

by mmmm 12/3/2021

written by mmmm

Maybe, it is me who is my own culprit, it is my fault that I did not act the way I was supposed to in order to survive in this cruel world. Maybe, everything that is bothering me is just an illusion, it is a noise coming from my mind that is making me feel worthless, reminding me constantly of all my flaws and insecurities. Maybe, I wronged myself by having expectations on others, hoping they would understand me, hoping that they will turn out the way I want , hoping they will bring happiness and well-being in my life. Maybe, I should have learned […]

12/3/2021 2 comments

Current Reasons not to kill myself

by Makenzie_1644 11/9/2021

written by Makenzie_1644

I don’t want to leave my favorite coworker. She’s slowly become my best friend over the last two months, and I don’t want to leave her.
My cousin. He’s an only child and I’ve taken on the role of older sibling to him so that he has some form of positive influence in his life.
My brother. I want to rebuild my relationship with my older brother. We haven’t spoken in over five years, but I want to reconnect with him and I know I can’t do that if I’m gone.
I want to spend as much time as I can with my family’s dog before he’s gone.
As […]

11/9/2021 0 comment

Things I don’t do since I tried to commit suicide

by Makenzie_1644 11/7/2021

written by Makenzie_1644

1. Take any sort of pill: My last suicide attempt was an attempted overdose. I spent 12 hours puking and dry-heaving. Now, even the thought of taking any sort of medicine in pill form makes my stomach turn.
2. Talk to my family about my mental health: They don’t understand why I feel the way I do. They don’t understand why I feel depressed, and they refuse to change their mindsets. I’ve tried to explain it to them, but nothing ever really changes.
3. Brush people off: I know what it feels like to have my feelings be brushed off and ignored. I refuse to […]

11/7/2021 2 comments

Im getting old woohoo!

by GhastlyReality92 11/2/2021

written by GhastlyReality92

Im getting old woohoo!

my philosophy about how much suffering we should endure is probably comparable to that of clive barkers cenobites ideas around it.
ive honestly seeked out death for myself
ive honestly seeked out a life for myself.
Im at my end. If i can’t die. i cant live. .
im 29years old so you listen hear youngens and old bastards alike: Keep kicking or dont. Expend every ounce of free will. Preserve it. or dont.
im not sick. I never was.
They can take me away but after years of frustratingly ordering my opinions about this matter.. And learning to enter/escape bigger hell holes: Lol no one can convince […]

11/2/2021 1 comment

need some help with family issues.

by elkadaia_ 11/1/2021

written by elkadaia_

I’m going to do a psych eval soon, per my mother’s wishes. I’m— excited? Kind of? I’m happy that after three years I can finally rest easy and get these diagnoses. But I’m also, somewhat, scared? It’s understandable, the last psych eval I did ended in chaos — with me only getting a diagnose of unspec-anxiety and getting off with no therapy. My mother is slightly worried, but believes I’m “a-okay” and am just having a reaction to allergies (which makes. zero. sense in my book). I want to tell her that I’ve attempted eight times but I’m scared that if I do, she’ll disown […]

11/1/2021 0 comment

fucked head

by cyberchallenge2 10/13/2021

written by cyberchallenge2

when i used to self harm i used to hit my head a lot, i didnt think of it that much back then but now i see the result. probably any type of self harm is better than hitting ur head, i suffer from memory loss, but no one would probably believe me, i dont even remember basic stuff such as what happened the day before, what somebody told me or things that i did, i may sound dramatic but its worse than it sounds. i dont remember how i started it but i did it everytime my mom was bitching about smth that ive […]

10/13/2021 0 comment

I’m tired af

by Notdedyet 8/18/2021

written by Notdedyet

Masking heavy thoughts
Like dirt covering a dead seed
Giving life to unclean intentions
And sprouting the darkest deeds

Song lyrics?:
The things I’ve tried and heard
Looking for better words 2x

Idk I’m just trying to get rid of the loud thoughts and go tf to sleep

8/18/2021 4 comments

Samantha Sings

by 1 m p 3 r m 3 n 4 n c 3 8/15/2021

written by 1 m p 3 r m 3 n 4 n c 3

She overcame sadness by sharing her gift. Listen to my dear friend at soundcloud.com/ samanthasings ~ may you be renewed and find comfort and joy in this life

8/15/2021 0 comment

by The riddler 8/8/2021

written by The riddler

If you need a friend and have nobody, follow me on IG and we can be each others friend. I’m lonely and been in a dark place. I’m losing so many friends.

*I accept all follow requests, just DM me after so I know this website is the reason for the add*

riley_with_a_d

8/8/2021 1 comment

by cowabooga 8/8/2021

written by cowabooga

i dont know how long i can take it i hope next week ill finally be motivated to go and not be spooked out this time
life is a cliff and ive spent most of it just hanging on and i think ill finally be able to get up then my fingers slip more and people care and want to help but i dont know how to help myself idk i cant keep living like this and i ruin everything i touch and make everyone disappointed or mad im not mentslly ill my life is fine nothings happened?? cant keep coping bc ppl are mad […]

8/8/2021 1 comment

Are you still here?

by EvilOni22 8/6/2021

written by EvilOni22

Still the honor roll!!!! This was a post from obviously a while ago. These people meant a lot to me back in that time. I was actually getting back on to see if these people are still active on this site currently by any chance?

SP Honour Roll
written by @
12/23/2014
Bisban (Morlock)

Clevername

CyanidesOfMarch

C4 (and his various aliases)

Dawg

DeathDreamer

Distant.Road

Distress

Duke of Marmalade

Koji

Nias

OnlyLoveisReal

PainNLife

Persa (and her various aliases)

Procel

Quaero

RealTalk30

Rocketman (and the Hot Tub Gang)

RogueShadow (I forget the numerals)

Searchingformeaning

Shepherd (RogueLonesome)

Snuf (and his various aliases)

Stendarr (and her various prefixes and affixes)

StruggleOn

Thanatos (and his various aliases)

Tristeza

TheWhispersOfMySins

Xanadu (and his various aliases)

8/6/2021 13 comments

Hello strangers

by ambientmilk 8/4/2021

written by ambientmilk

I was convinced i dreamt this website
Some sick depressed fever dream
An ill lonely teen looking to relate to people
I sunk so low
I still do
My scars scabbed through shame
But you heal
Still fragile, broken, cracked, but still healing
Which sounds like some cringe-y crap
Fuck, Ill be so-called ‘healing’ till the day i die
But
I have to make peace with that

8/4/2021 3 comments

by struggling.to.go.on 7/17/2021

written by struggling.to.go.on

It hurts… it hurts to go on and keep breathing. I hate myself for burning every bridge and destroying my closest friendships. I guess in my fucked up brain I thought it would be better to make everyone not care about me now and hate me, then to hurt them later when they find out about my funeral. Not only did I not want them to stop me, I also didn’t want to hurt them. I didn’t want them to find out about my lifeless body and have to tell my family because no one else knew anything about my family. I burned everything to […]

7/17/2021 3 comments

by heartlessviking 7/15/2021

written by heartlessviking

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

I’ve been reading some of the other posts, and I think the arbitrary nature of our predicament is a common theme. I think that the rest of mankind is happily unaware of the brutal realities of our universe. If not, they certainly don’t let on that they are aware of such things. What sort of things?

Humans are fantastically creative. We are creatures of narrative. So when we explain ourselves, it is usually through storytelling. For the majority of written history the dominant narrative focused on spiritual beings who impute a deeper meaning to the actions of humans. There is no […]

7/15/2021 5 comments

i might do it soon. i dont know where to go from here.

by damidami 7/10/2021

written by damidami

just 1 am thoughts again. its always in a cycle, i get extremely suicidal, im in this weird state where im just numb and i feel okay i guess and then i spiral. im back in my suicidal part of the cycle, except one important thing: my brother killed himself. thats what the police say anyways, im not sure, i dont know. he came to me alot to vent, i shut him out, our relationship wasnt always the best, so right now the only thought that has been repeating is that i killed my brother. i drove him to suicide. i dont know where to […]

7/10/2021 3 comments

Afterlife

by SamLight 6/21/2021

written by SamLight

What happens after we die ? I wonder. Am I gonna find myself in a beautiful village with habitants full of love attention who would care for me when I’m sick, be happy for me when I succeed, accompany me in the worst times. We would laugh together about silly jokes, eat every meal together, play outside and take care of Farm animals. The view from our house would be breathtaking and everyone would get along. But most importantly, I would have forgotten everything,, every little bit of abuse, self hatred and abomination from this current life. I really hope this heaven awaits me for […]

6/21/2021 2 comments

Back In 2013

by madetofade2 6/11/2021

written by madetofade2

I used to come to this site a lot as a 13 year old. My username was MadeToFade.
Im Jamie. I’ll be 24 in late July of 2021. Before suicideproject was a .org, I came to type out my feelings. I expressed my frustrations and sadness, but I also conversated with a male 22 years older than myself on that website, underneath the old username Ive given above.
Due to observation by members of the site, it was pointed out that “Nolen” was in fact an adult, and “MadeToFade” was in fact a minor.
I am thankful that someone noticed and felt alarmed enough to […]

6/11/2021 3 comments

Do it

by LivinGhost 6/2/2021

written by LivinGhost

I can’t believe how old I am now. 37. My suicidal thoughts started when I was 8. My life was hard and abusive. It’s not like that now but I had already died inside a long ago and I just keep inhabiting this shell.
I was smart enough not to bring a child. I’d probably would have been an absent mother with occasional outbursts of disproportionate rage and pass this poison on to my future generation.
I wouldn’t advise everyone who has a bad day or a few rough weeks even, to do it but
If your life is objectively horrible
If the meds don’t […]

6/2/2021 8 comments

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