For those who have survived suicide.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptzzU7jFQwo
Coming Down – Five Finger Death Punch (It’s all about suicide and the pressures of life.)
Category:
Suicidal Survivors
The first time I tried to kill myself was on November 3rd 2012.
I was friends with this girl Tori, and then one day, for no reason I know of, she changed. She hated me. I didn’t know what I did. But that week after she changed was hell for me. She called me things, made fun of me, tripped me, hit me. And on that day, I’d had enough. When I get on the bus, I instantly regretted it. It’s like I could feel that I was going to go home and kill myself. My bus stop is the first one, right before hers. When […]
I don’t know how to start this.. I pretty much decided to make this to be able to vent about everything. My life is eating me up day  by day now.. It started when my dad had died. Suicide got to him. It was last year, January 7th. I know, I know, dude that was a year ago why are you finally talking about it? How about this- I didn’t have as much depression until now. Not many people understand how fucked up you can get from a suicide, bullying, and no one caring.. Everyone thinking that you’re fine. When in reality, you’re not. My mum […]
only when im alone does this mask come off it feels like i cant tell anyone anything in fear of judgment and being condemd weak i dont think theres been a single day i havnt cried this weak they say a man shouldnt cry but only if you knew the legit reasons i have that i havnt told you for as long as i can remember suicide has been a thought yet somehow by schools standards it goes against everything ive been tuaght ive never had parents im the lonely guy that tried to fit in but got told off the one that had no […]
Hello everyone.
Today is my last day. Tonight I will be ending things and finally finding total freedom and nothingness.
To my dear Nat, goodbye my sweet Princess. Just keeping my promise to tell you goodbye. Sent you an email not sure if you got it.
To any others who I have conversed with. I really hope things have improved for you or will improve. And that your pain lessens enough for life to be at least somewhat joyful. Many of you are suffering mainly or totally because of others and I wish I had the power to take that pain away from you. Sometimes people are treated […]
All my life, I’ve been utter crap.
I’ve been treated like crap in grade school for reasons I don’t even know. Then in middle school. About high school time, I started to think bad thoughts. I had held on for so long, kept myself strong for as long as I could, but I couldn’t fucking do it. My mom was killing herself by working to feed my brother, my sisters, and me. I got a job and worked most of the day after school to help, along with studying half the night. That resulted in me getting insomnia and sleeping problems, which led to anxiety and […]
I wrote here 3 years ago about my pain and about my suicidal thoughts. When I look back at those days from now, I see a human that has fallen to betrayal, mental and emotional abuse. I was a kind, caring and loving person. I used to help people as much as I can and try to make things right. None at that time did really care but I did my best regardless. Then I was betrayed by my girlfriend and members of my family. Most friends did not seem really to care. Others just made things seem easy. Honestly speaking I was […]
I was raped.
Only 11 years old.
I didn’t know what was happening. Nor had I ever gotten purposely drunk or smoked pot before.
I thought that was what love was…
After that, I became sex crazed. By the end of high school I was known as the local slut that was passed around. Guess whats what happens when you let men fuck you and pass you on to their friends like a piece of meat. But I didn’t care. Why? Because I was punishing myself. I felt that I deserved to relive my rape because I wasn’t happy with myself. And why shouldn’t I be happy? I have an incredible […]
In early 2009 I started dealing with severe recurrent depression, even though I was undiagnosed at the time. Â I’m sure many of you know what that feels like. Â I felt like my life had no point, none of my classes were interesting, I didn’t want to hang out with my friends, and I just hated everything and everyone, especially myself. Â All of these emotions just kept building up until I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Â In September of that year I tried to overdose on sleeping pills. Â I calculated what the lethal dose for someone my size would be, and took that plus a few […]
I’m that guy that has been shit on more than anybody knows. Early days as a kid I was harassed daily and tormented by fellow classmates because of my mothers crack addiction. The only reason they knew was because their parents did drugs along with my mother. Was born with a bad foot which pretty much opted me out of any sports or doing well as I could. Shyness throughout the years was difficult to deal with as I learned to talk to females and learn what they wanted and what they saw. My father has been in prison all my life and haven’t read […]
It wasn’t violent, the attempted rape. It was mostly tearful, with me pleading for the man to stop. And sick and disgusting. It smelled gross and dirty. I could smell his sweat, I can still smell his sweat. I will never forget it. I will still remember the scent after he got done, after he realised I want going to let him. I fought in my drunkenness.
He had told me that he wanted to talk to me.
William Triplett was his name. He was an ex of mine, and I had just turned 16, and he was 25. I was desperate to find someone […]
I have attempted suicide 3 times. Â Two were almost successful. Â My family was so surprised, Â I was surprised they were surprised. Â I felt like I was yelling it from the rooftops. Â I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, I have lost so much of what I wanted to this disease that even when I am not depressed I consider ending it all. Â Â The first time I attempted suicide I took a massive overdose. Â Unsuccessful obviously. Â I was hospitalized for a week. Â Last fall, I climbed over a bridge rail, a very tall bridge which I won’t name. Â It was so well planned. Â It […]
I’m a 17 year old girl, and I’m depressed and  have anxiety issues.. Apparently it is quite common to want to die but it isn’t a good enough reason to actually kill yourself. If you do, people will be seriously hurt. If I didn’t know anyone at all, I would probably do it, but I do know people. So I have to stay alive.
I don’t have close friends because I push them all away. I’m never comfortable, even just sitting alone in my room away from everyone, I’m on edge. When I actually go out and do things, I have to constantly take deep breaths […]
well, here I am, 15, a pothead, a whore, doesn’t have anything to praise or look forward to after life. I’m all kinds of fucked up, I was always put last to 4 other brothers and sisters. I was raised by drug addicts and alcoholics and it’s  my fault I turned out like this when I was never told aanything different. I was never told about the danger of sex and drugs, I was raised by people who abused all of it, and I’m  the shitty one in the bunch?  Ha. You’re all so ignorant! If  you never wanted me to be so  horrible, maybe […]
I don’t quite understand why it feels so much easier to write about my problems then to say them out loud I suppose it’s like my thoughts are my own little secret I mean that’s what your mind is for right? A space where you can detach yourself from reality if only for a few moments and go somewhere.. be it a memory or completely make up.. But no amount of day dreaming will save me from myself, Let me start off by saying I am now 19 years old to be 20 in August and have suffered from clinical depression for 4 years, I […]
Im new here so im just going to start with family, as they say family comes first.
The 11th of november 1995 was the day I was brought into this world. Being 2 hours born and taken away from my parents by a case worker. They say it was for the best, she was a drug addict aswell as an alcoholic and she couldnt look after herself or even support herself so how could she look after me? So I was taken away and put into a foster home not even a day old and straight into a complete strangers house. I obviously didnt know what was going […]
Nobody knew that I wanted to die.
I laughed. I was in love. I had all the friends anybody could want.
But nobody knew that I was hurting like Hell. The thought that I was living that life that I’m living made me sick. Made me tired. Made me want to give up.
I tried killing myself. I took 20 50mg sleeping pills. But I’m still here. Woke up in a hospital with hospital food in front of me. I remeber it like it was yesterday. I took the pills. Smoked half a pack of cigarettes, and gave my goodbye notebook to my mother. She took me to […]
I’m new here, but I’ve been following this site for a few months now. I tried committing suicide almost a year ago. I was hospitalized for about 3 days before going into a psychiatric hospital for a week. It scared the hell out of me. I promised myself I never wanted to end up there again. The only people that know about this are my parents and my sister I was too ashamed to tell my best friend or any other family members. I did actually tell one friend from online but she completely laughed at me. Told me I was such a wuss  trying to commit […]
So as some of you may know, on October 16th I tried to end my life but survived. Well Now it’s been nearly 5 months and I’m healing. I went to a therapist last month and that really helped. I’m happy again, finally after all this time. I live in a town where we have lost 6 kids in the past year alone to suicide. It’s pretty tough. But now our town is growing together and helping each other get better. We started our own suicide prevention and help page and everyone is sharing stories of survival and triumph and struggle. Prayers are being shared […]
I used to look up into the sky and smile because it was such a great blue day.. but as the years passed on and as friends began to leave.. I began to just hate the blue sky so much.. it made me so angry that there were no clouds.. or it was always blue.. I remembered that it made me so mad I never looked at the sky ever.. One day.. I looked up and everything was white. the cement, the sky, the clouds, and the dying grass. I never looked up and began to resent what I so much loved. I never had […]