Category:

Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

Titled?

by Titanstrong 4/29/2012

written by Titanstrong

I don’t know what to do, I can’t seem to keep going like this, it has been 10 years in a slow descent into oblivion, it hurts so much now just to wake up, but I can’t do it, it would hurt others, and that would be selfish of me. My best friend A, has a boyfriend, but she is the only person who makes me better, but I cant hurt her, and I am leaving soon by asking her to do things with me because people areÂ judgmentalÂ assholes. I think of better and better ways to kill myself, and with more than 30 episodes of […]

4/29/2012 2 comments

the Symptom Bearer

by the Guardian 4/28/2012

written by the Guardian

the Symptom Bearer

he sat angrily in his room, alone. He could hear them all talking downstairs. He knew they were all talking about him, it was always him!
Always your fault they chided him, you ruin everything.
In his family of 2 sisters and 2 brothers he was always the one in trouble, poor marks in school, always at the doctor, always in trouble somehow.
He was the Symptom Bearer.
Families are complex groups called systems. Even the simplest one parent one child family has a family system. A family system is made up of the unspoken rules and secrets of each family. Your family […]

4/28/2012 2 comments

I cant do this anymore

by Unique 4/27/2012

written by Unique

Hello SP.

I have met alot of great people on this site, some were in serious trouble and some just needed someone to listen. And up until now it was always me doing the counseling and i think iÂ have helped most of the new friends i have made. But a new friend has helped me move forward with my life, I have felt guilty for years for the mistakes ive made, but i am starting to get past it now. And now i dont even know if she is ok.

she got into my heart and even the thought of her death is just world shattering, it […]

4/27/2012 21 comments

Why….?

by EmoKitten 4/27/2012

written by EmoKitten

I am just sitting here and I just randomly start crying… I wanna just cut or kill myself so that I don’t cry anymore…. I hate crying…. I grew up learning that it was wrong to cry and that we couldn’t talk about anything… So I don’t talk to anyone about it… I wish that I could….. I wanna just open my arm and bleed out… Idk anymore

4/27/2012 3 comments

Medicine Doesn’t Always Help

by EmoKitten 4/27/2012

written by EmoKitten

Every doctor pretty much makes it seem as though if you take this medicine, everything will get better. Sadly, that ain’t the truth. I have been taking medicine since I was in 6th grade and look at me. I am STILL depressed and I STILL have a lot of anxiety and anger. Can medicine really help you? No. It can help you a little. It can slightly make you happier and slightly less anxious, but that’s not always the case. When I cry, I can’t stop crying for about an hour. My anxiety gets so bad that I shake to the point that I can’t […]

4/27/2012 4 comments

Happiness could be just around the corner

by savemefrommyself97 4/27/2012

written by savemefrommyself97

I had my first psychiatrist appointment Wednesday. After three long years of suffering, I was finally diagnosed with depression,given anti depressents and told I need counseling. I cant express how much of a relief it is, even if my mom kept crying after it. Im still in pain from how I hurt him and i doubt he will ever forgive me, but I realize its time to forgive myself. I want to thank all of you for well everything&anything. Im still scared but im more optomistic that maybe i wont consider suicide everyday

4/27/2012 1 comment

For The LGBTI

by EmoKitten 4/27/2012

written by EmoKitten

I know that it is hard being Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, Transgender, or Intersex. I know because I am bi-sexual. My family and most of the people I know don’t understand how it is and don’t really accept me. They think that it is wrong and that I should be straight because it the the “right” thing. I don’t give a fuck if it you think it’s right or not. I am NOT changing who I am just for you. I like the way I am. I prefer girls more than boys because I have been hurt by mostly guys, but that’s not the same for […]

4/27/2012 10 comments

Help me…

by EmoKitten 4/27/2012

written by EmoKitten

Last week was my second time trying to commit suicide… I was crying and couldn’t stop because I felt unloved and unwanted. My self-confidence dropped to 0% and I couldnt talk to anyone about it. I felt as if no one understood what i was going through. My left arm is permanently scarred all the way down on the bottom and it reminds me of what I did…. I kinda wish that I did it deeper… There seems to be nothing good about me. I battle the urge to just Over Dose on any pills or slit my arms and wrists. I just don’t want […]

4/27/2012 4 comments

When you dig down deep, all that’s there is blood.

by FaithEvelyn 4/26/2012

written by FaithEvelyn

It started when I was 11, the bullying. It was simple at first; called fat and ugly. It started to excel though, through out the year. I was a heavy set child, short and pudgy. But not obese. I told my mum, she said I just wanted attention. I let it keep happening for a couple months, then it got out of hand. I started being followed home by a couple of boys. They rode bikes usually, sometimes skateboards. I didn’t know what they wanted with me. A couple weeks after, a brick broke my window in the middle of the night. There was a […]

4/26/2012 11 comments

Broken Wings

by lonely0831 4/26/2012

written by lonely0831

As i sit here i am playing “Born to Be Somebody” by Justin. Ive been listening to it for about 30 minutes now. ive never been one who’s into his music, but this song is helping me with my broken wings.

I am so tired, emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, just everything in me is tired. I wake up each and everyday and i plant a smile on my face. what else can i do? i was born into a family of strong christian faith and this, my feelings, my broken wings are not acceptable. So i hide. Smiling in my mother’s face like a hypocrite, laughing […]

4/26/2012 0 comment

I wish I was dead….

by EmoKitten 4/26/2012

written by EmoKitten

I know that people say that I should be happy with the life that I have, but right now, I just don’t see anything good in life…. I seriously want to die. I cry so much, but I don’t let people see. I am called names, made fun of, etc. It has become too much for me. I just don’t want to be alive. I tried to commit suicide, but I sadly failed. I just don’t see the point of being alive at this point. If I had the chance, I would try it again, but my mom hid all the pills and sharp items […]

4/26/2012 6 comments

Ugly and Lovely.

by U.N. Owen 4/26/2012

written by U.N. Owen

One could argue that one could let go and live a simpler existence.Â Still after one labored and struggled to climb out of poverty in order to enjoy financial stability and technlogical convenience in the USA, to voluntarily go for less feels like crippling oneself. What can I say.Â I’m an otaku and an asian horror-phile. Plus old school books are a pleasure to read and touch.

Plus the wasting sickness has returned and I refuse to take chemo this time.Â Should have refused the first time and maybe I’d already be gone.Â Doc tells me I could extend my life byÂ a fewÂ years if I took […]

4/26/2012 3 comments

She Chose Life

by LovelyLittleLadybug 4/25/2012

written by LovelyLittleLadybug

This is the story of my mom’s life and I marvel at her strength.

My mother is half Vietnamese, half American. She and my uncle were the results of my grandma sleeping with one of the men that went to Vietnam during the war. When my mom was two, he left them. It was hard living there because they were always hungry, but it was worse having some American blood. People would do such things as to throw rocks at these kids. I think she was nine- years- old when she was sent on a plane to come here. She considers herself lucky to be alive […]

4/25/2012 4 comments

Don’t Do It.

by NinyLynnAlpha 4/24/2012

written by NinyLynnAlpha

I’m thirteen. I’ve been a cutter since I was eleven. Today, I was going to commit suicide because I was tired of the constant pain and the drama with my family and friends and everything else. Only five people know I cut. My ex Â andÂ four of my friends. I told one of them this morning that it may be the last time they talk to me and that if there was anything they wanted me to know, to tell me now. They replied back with a three page text about what their life would be like without me. It got me really thinking. I paid […]

4/24/2012 8 comments

What Hell Am I Supposed To Do?

by Carve John 4/24/2012

written by Carve John

Well, I was supposed to die exactly a year and two months ago. Ever since, I feel like I have been in a rut. I don’t know what to do. I’m 14 year old girl. I do have a boyfriend that I love and talk about all the time because I love him so much. I just can’t get out of this rut. I know he is scared for me in more ways than one. First, I can’t help it but I cut myself. Second, I am so depressed and I can’t open up to people that easily so I have a hard time telling […]

4/24/2012 1 comment

Infinite circle

by lostchild445 4/22/2012

written by lostchild445

my life goes in a very predictable circle. I go a little while, recovering slowly bit by bit. Something goes wrong. I stop improving. Something else goes wrong. I start getting worse. Something else goes wrong, I give up on life, go back to cutting and drinking and drugs. Straw breaks my back, I try to kill myself. I find someone that says they really care about me, that asks for me to tell them everything so they can help. Things get better for a little while. Then the person snaps and can’t take caring for me anymore. I try to kill myself again. Repeat […]

4/22/2012 2 comments

Not sure

by sickboy 4/22/2012

written by sickboy

I have read many of the stories here. Its funny I never read any of these where somebody has said to themselves that at that exact moment that they are feeling so down and out that someone else in the world is a lot worse off. I don’t say this to be mean, Its just something I have learned to use in my own life “empathy”. I know the daily struggle of suicide. I myself have been locked away in the bin a few times. I too am a cutter and burner and lots of hitting in the head and face. I have thoughts of […]

4/22/2012 0 comment

update

by allyy 4/22/2012

written by allyy

well ive been with this amazin guy for 1 year, 5 months, nd 1 week.. evryday i feel soo grateful for havin him.. nd hez fixed the problems i had wit my family.. he evn helped me thru the pain ofÂ the past 15 yrs of physical abuse ive suffered.. nd evrythin is perfect.. my grades culd use a little help.. other than dat, evrythin is perfect. but wen im alone.. all those thoughts of suicide nd alcohol nd drug abuse come rushin thru my head.. nd i feel like im abt to fall over nd jst pass out.. i get light headed nd feel a […]

4/22/2012 0 comment

Starting to understand it all

by lostchild445 4/21/2012

written by lostchild445

i think I get why I self injure. It’s because half of me is in constant pain and turmoil, and the other part looks perfectally fine. So in my quest for balance in my life, I try to make both sides show equal amounts of what I feel. A balance between physical and emotional pain. What I look like on the outside, my inside is unable to deal with, so I have to change the outside to match the inside. I’m wrecked emotionally. I have no faith in anything anymore, I’m in constant pain, and I want to die. So I show it by cuts […]

4/21/2012 2 comments

Think Twice

by ilovemyself 4/19/2012

written by ilovemyself

Okay so here i am what people thought was a normal goody two shoes 13 year old.But really i was so much less then normal.At school people picked on me and talked about me behind my back. I was getting really frustrated with it so i decided that enough was enough.I felt bad about my self and all of my self-confidence was gone I thought i was uber fat and ugly. I started cutting my self and that was a way of taking all of the anger and sadness away but that was not enough to satisfy what i thought was my need to fit […]

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4/19/2012 0 comment

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