Suicidal Survivors

Hi. My name is Briana.

I turned 18 yesterday. This means I’m about 1.75 years sober.

This is the first time telling my story, but I figured there’s no way I’m gonna flourish as an adult if I can’t get over this. I came here because tonight is a pretty rough night, like we all have. *sigh. When I was 15 years old I started having nightmares. Graphic, vivid nightmares. I’d wake up screaming. I started staying up as late as I possibly could to avoid them. It got to the point where 3 hours of sleep was my average a night. My boyfriend at the time […]

First time: February 2. It was after my therapy session.
I felt like nothing was getting better, I was just getting
more and more depressed. I felt that life no longer had a
meaning so I went to the station and I sat on the platform
for 2 hours just waiting for the courage to jump in front
of a train. I sat there crying and just praying that I
could just jump. But I couldn’t, I was thinking about my
parents and how unfair it would be, for them to lose their
only daughter. So I walked home, proud and so disappointed
at the same time. My heart won this […]

Yeah, in the moment that is all I want.  I found this site through this frase. It’s funny that it’s so difficult to encounter anything related with suicide on the internet. I mean, I search a lot, for a long time now, and the suicide as a subject is really a taboo. Maybe, no, I know this, my opinion is different of everyone else. For me, suicide is a right to a human being, I mean, your life is miserable and you don’t want that, so what’s that you wanna kill yourself.  Is your right because is your life. Disregarding all religions crap, yeah you’ll […]

Well. I’m 12. And I was extremely suicidal. And I had a friend over one day because my mom works, my brother and sister were gone, and my dad has passed away. So I wouldn’t feel alone I had my friend, Shawnia over. So, she said she was going to my little cousin, Evangelia’s house. I texted her and said ‘Me and Shawnia are coming over.’ She replied back ‘Only Shawnia. My gma doesn’t like you.’ I teared up a little because my own aunt doesn’t like me. So Shawnia left me. I felt alone. After 45 minutes of just watching TV Shawnia texted me […]

I think it was February ? I know it was close after the Valentine’s Dance at school that it all went down like it did.

My boyfriend had accused me of cheating. I was trying to take my best friend at the time (who was a guy) to the dance instead of him, because my friend was alone.

So he accused me of cheating. He threatened me. So I turned and walked off. But once again, I was alone, by myself. I was wandering amoungst the people, swaying side to side and “Gettin’ down wif it” to each song, attempting to avoid him, hoping he would avoid […]