The easy thing to do is write a will, but I think that’s the lazy way out. For a will to be properly carried out, someone would have to hire lawyers, an executor, tax specialist, and be prepared for the administrative & legal fallout. Those who have lost family members as I have will know what I’m talking about. Inheritance goes to the lawyers & taxman.

Also especially in the case of suicide, count on your will to be contested because by definition (so the law says) if you kill yourself you’re mentally ill. A written will by a suicidal person is as good as a […]

I’m a loser.  I deserve to die.  Why can’t I just fucking do it already.  You’re so stupid.  You are nothing.  You are a fat and ugly loser.

Getting set up to go on my first trip in awhile, even longer since I went on a pure pleasure vacation… the downside? It’s a state that I haven’t had the best of luck in. As in every time I’ve entered that state since age 18 (which is at least half a dozen times) something bad has happened; on the far worst end I got kicked out of an entire entertainment complex due to one of my worst public meltdowns….. to the lightest of being yelled at by my boss for not accurately understanding the street layouts…

so we’re playing a game that I play a […]

Hi, my name is Greg, I’m a songwriter, and something I am really passionate about is trying to help people who are severely unhappy, and you wouldnt know it by listening to this song but I struggled with this as well as a teenager. So heres a song I wrote, if you like it thats great but if not thats fine too. Ok thanks for you time. God bless.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8hOrKrzbxc&t=1s

This isnt anything much but I really need someone i can talk to more often when im not feeling good, but even someone i just wanna talk to so if theres anyone who wants to i guess be friends let me know in the comments 🙂

btw im 17 so anyone between 16 and 19 is okay : )

Sometimes I feel as if I am down at the bottom of a dark pit.

I can see the light up above so far away… I am afraid to scream for help.

I can hear people passing by and talking but not a single soul will stop and look inside the pit.

Other times I feel as if alone on a distant planet, no (sun)light, only an eternal dark night and far far away from everything and everybody.

Is this life meant to be experienced like this?

you know i dont try to look sad when i am but there is this one guy who knows when i am and its wierd because no one else can ever tell. not my friends or my boyfriend and they never ask.

but this guy asks like he knows something is up and i mean hes right, because when he asks i am genuienly not feeling great but its just wierd.

i dont know whether it is worse to be completely alone, or to have people in your life who act like theyre there for you but know they never are. its not even about going to someone when youre sad and need someone to talk to, its about them actually choosing to spend time with you and all of that.

I feel like as i go on i realise that, as much as it is nice for people to be there for you when youre sad, its better for people to actually want to be with you. I have friends that are the opposite of that. […]

Wednesday is the final demo. It barely functions and things keep getting worse. It’s over. I guess all I can do is pray for mercy, but I think it’s time I face the consequences. I don’t know if I will graduate. I have to learn to accept what comes to me. I can see the disappointment in my other team mates. They are also sad. I get it. I have only myself to blame. I could have done more and been better. Oh well, I have to accept it. It’s hard, but I […]

I’ve spent most of my life stuck in a temperate climate land locked state. The climate is the thing I like least, I’ve gone hotter, and I’ve gone colder. I’ve gone dryer, but I have not found a more moist climate. It’s so humid I can break a sweat from sweeping my kitchen floor…. and have.

look, politically it also isn’t pleasant, but I suspect that would be easier to deal with if the climate wasn’t as it is. I just like the honest brutality of the desert for example, be it arctic or hot, it wants you to die, and you don’t have to work […]

why am I like this,
like a ball of wadded up paper, can’t I just focus and be normal and SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
they wont stop yelling “HEY”
Everything is so pointless, but I need to at least try- WHY “AREN’T YOU TRYING!!”
i’m sorry sorry sorry i’m trying I swear I just need more time, and maybe more effort, but my bed feels so nice..and maybe I can take a nap..
Maybe I won’t wake up and- “PAY ATTENTION”

“Yeah my bad”
“sorry I forgot”
“I’m just really tired”
So so so tired
tired of the cycle that […]

I can’t ever seem to do anything right. I’m falling behind in school. I keep forgetting to do my chores. Every little thing I do is viewed as a mistake by my mom. My brother is always the perfect one. The miracle. Why can’t she love me like that for once? Why does she always yell at me? Maybe I really am just doing something wrong. Maybe I really am the disappointment that she sees when she looks at me. I just want it all to end.

Hello everyone,

I am amazed to see so many people who want to commit suicide for reasons that do not deserve it, personally I believe that there are only 2 lawful reasons to escape from this prison planet. love and freedom.

I will tell you my case.

I am 40, and I do not blame anyone, I blame the system of this damn world, the injustice that governs this satanic planet seeks to remove our divine spark, many of you are being tempted by demons to commit suicide and if you do that you will have a bigger problem and you will reincarnate again.

Understand, death does not exist […]

Long story short, my life is a complete failure. It’s full of wrong decisions, (in)actions, regrets, mistakes after mistakes, that I honestly think maybe it’s already too late to “fix everything” (eg: I’m losing all the good chances/opportunities, as I’m getting old now). It’s really ironic & tragic, because a lot of people always say that I’m very talented especially in music (I used to be quite an active musician & composer/songwriter, but sadly I’m still not famous & successful), smart, a deep thinker, a highly sensitive person, etc etc.

I am also an idealist, meaning that I actually have a BIG vision & idea for […]

I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I’m too afraid to end it. Unless/until something drastic changes, like becoming homeless or serious illness, I’m going to be sticking around. I’ve spent years questioning whether it would be preferable to overcome that fear and go through with it. But I’ve found no consistent answer, and without that I just don’t have it in me.

So if I’m going to be stuck here, the next question that arises is how to make things as bearable as I can. That seems to be an even more complicated question. A significant part of me believes that I […]

oh no, they’re back

the voices.

the vague voice

the deep and low whisper,

it lets out

the cold shivers down my spine.

oh no,

maybe.

maybe it’s made up,

all in my head?

can’t be.

could it be?

oh no,

i feel it fogging up my head like a cold forest morning after the rain

oh no

am i going crazy?

maybe it’s normal.

maybe it’s just my mind trying to create someone here so i’m not […]

Lately i’m not sure how i’m feeling, whether it’s really high, highs or really low, lows. I keep getting confused by the highs and think oh i’m getting better and then being proved wrong by the lows. I’ve dealt with a lot of past trauma, that being a lot of sexual abuse by people who i trusted and thought were there to protect me but realizing that i shouldn’t been protected by them instead was the hard part. I can’t remember when the sexual abuse started and i can’t remember who the first person was. I remember most people who have done it, my uncle, […]

I think I was just doomed from the start.

This society doesn’t want people like me, it prefers that I’d die. I’m gay and transgender, so I’m already a target for horrible people to take their frustrations out on. I’m too disabled to work, but the government won’t give me Disability. Even if they did, it’s not enough to survive on. I’m not good enough at art, music, or writing to make a living off of it. Streaming is too tiring with my depression and chronic pain. I’ve tried to get a remote job despite my disability, but I’ve only gotten scams. I’m running out of […]

Last weekend, someone took me to a large suburb house, to feed the owner’s cats. The owners left the country two months ago, and he somehow thought it’s best for his two British shorthairs to be locked in one room, instead of giving them the whole house to wander around. For two months the cats have been kept inside a small room with a caged bird, people come two times a day to feed them, and I was really disgusted by that. I haven’t wrote on this site for a while, I’m getting a bit worse at talking, but typing seems fine, whatever, go on.

When […]

Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can’t
It isn’t in my blood
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly
Just have a drink and you’ll feel better
Just take her home and you’ll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?
Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough
Someone help me
I’m crawling in my skin
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But […]