i understand its “what best” but why must i? its what you want not what i want. its my life. its my body. why do you get to decide what i do with it?
I desperately want to go back in time, and be somebody different. Live a different life where none of this ever happened. But that’s not an option. If that version of me were ever possible, it’s long dead now. There is only the future. But I have no clue what to do from here. I’m so fucked up in my mind, my personality, how I relate to people. There’s this terrible side to me and most of the time it’s in the driving seat. And I love it and I hate it, all at the same time. It feels amazing one moment and awful the […]
Life has always felt overwhelming to me. I have on and off struggled with suicidal thoughts for about 15 years. Often I don’t have thoughts of suicide but just a strong feeling of wishing I was dead. That I didn’t have to deal with life anymore. That someone will hit me while I’m driving in my car or I’ll get sick. Life just seems so hard for me. It’s always been that way. On the outside I’m a high achiever but internally even the smallest things, just functioning as a “normal” adult, feel like so much work. I feel like the world we live in […]
1- I need more money. A guaranteed enough amount so I don’t have to worry about how I can afford this or that, or go out and do this or that.
2- I need real friends. I need love (a significant other). I need people that actually care about me.
3- If I have the money and means, my health would improve. I still won’t be anywhere near 100% but it would be much better (talking about physical health here, not even talking mental health).
Right now it’s a circle of depression- bc I’m sick, I can’t make money/more money. […]
I’m looking for a way to spend my time that doesn’t involve others. Something online. I have offline options but I need something to do while I’m just sitting here.
This is a couple of the very few things that I do.
https://www.sadanduseless.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcjhYlL1WRBjKaJsMH_h7Lg
What do you guys do that doesn’t involve others?
i had a great opportunity to make world a better place some time ago.
I failed. Im a failure. My entire life is a shit. I dont like my life and never did.
I want to die.
Im thinking on a way to do it.
I cant bear anymore, the pain and pretend to everyone I like to be here.
In the near distant future, AI hijacks the minds of people. We become the product, where ads are sold to us because we are the product. Where our time is the resource of the elite’s money. Where we predate people’s time through addictive social media. Through GMO’s and artifical flavors. Where in the natural world, we would die of natural causes. In the reality of the world, this isn’t the case. So many people are dying premature deaths. Suicides rates are up. Half of the U.S. has pre-diabetes. 1 in 4 Americans have some type or mental illness. 1 in 3 children are on foodstamps. […]
i don’t want to give this life up but i also don’t want to continue it either. maybe i should just lie in bed and wait until things get worse. that way the choice will be easier once my life finally falls apart.
Yesterday I felt like trash, but I think I am getting better after all. I’m not sure if it’ll all be reset this winter, who knows. Although whenever I see anyone close to me I’ll think of their reaction after my death, for the first time in years, I can actually talk about the future, my future. For the first time in years, in the flash of a second, I genuinely saw myself in the future: miserable, but still alive. 20,30,40,50,60. For a second I genuinely wanted to live. As frightening as it is, I won’t quit for now, I am scared of the reaction […]
Mostly writing because it will be the only way I process these emotions. At this point, my energy level is too low to even apply for jobs, let alone hold one down. I’ve been able to strip away all the emotion in it, so I can explain to my wife. She’s incredibly supportive, and I feel lucky in that regard. She accepted my pitch; she works and I focus on keeping house. The fact is that I spend more time tending the house than her, and I don’t have a problem with that. I’m good at it.
The hard part is still letting go, becoming okay […]
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im wondering if theres maybe a glitch or something because i have no problem with it
Not that I am actively suicidal *right now,* but I am generally suicidal 24-7 bc there is no purpose nor any meaning to my life. I have tried to find one but to no avail.
What is the point of living? Or rather the point to MY living?
I’m not religious, so no comfort from living for a “higher power” or whatever.
I haven’t spawned any kids, so I don’t have to stay or nurture any non-existent beings.
I haven’t done anything meaningful in life- I haven’t created anything, saved any lives, etc. I am not spectacular in any way (maybe spectacularly […]
I worry about participating on sites like these, talking to suicidal people. Especially those who are younger and more impulsive than me. I worry that I might say something that triggers something for them, which then pushes them over the edge. Not intentionally or from being insulting (I think I’m rarely mean), but just carelessly through discussion. And it’s not that it would exactly be my ‘fault’ if that did happen. I don’t think I have the power to make anyone kill themselves who isn’t already 99% of the way there. But it still concerns me.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that no […]
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/americans-are-unhappiest-they-ve-been-50-years-poll-finds-n1231153
The actual study and report aside, does anyone find the picture funny? The first thing I thought of was: “ha! imagine if an alien saw this from above. What would they think about us humans?” (say they don’t know what covid-19 is)
Is there a way to change the password to something we want or that can actually remember? Right now it’s set that if you want to change the password, SP autogenerates one for you. It’s super long and impossible to remember. I remember SP used to let us have our own passwords in the past.
Previously, I went to visit family in California for the summer. I was in a pretty bad place mentally, so I used the money I had saved up to go surfing all summer long.
And for the first time, in a long time, I was happy.
Not just happy on the waves, but at home too. It’s like the board was an extension of my body, and I was free to be me when I went out.
No homework, no stress, no group chats, no toxic friends, no mom, no dad, no yelling, no crying, just me, and the board.
Just me, surfing. […]
hate is typically a word of anger. but this time…….i hate myself so much that im crying…….
I am 16, and I know that I will be dead in a couple of months. Over the last two years, I’ve thought about life and death a lot. It just doesn’t seem to be worth it, living in a world that is deteriorating as I write. I don’t want to slave the rest of my life away at a job either, and pursuing alternative options seem either require money or to be too risky.
There isn’t really a benefit to me living, anyways. When people tell you to not kill yourself, they always bring up family and friends. Whenever I think about how my people […]