why did the comments link off on my previous post?

There are two things that go together that I need to sort out. One is being bullied– I haven’t really been directly bullied. No one stop me in the hallbuoy spreads rumors. No one excerpt myself. I have and ask.fm and I am obsessed with it. I check it every minute of every hour of the day. now I’m going to tell you something and before you say I’m an attention seeker trust me I’m nogo tone day I decided I hated myself so much that I wrote some hate anonymously on my wall and responded defending myself as the answer […]

i didn’t want to fail but my friends found me in the most unlikly place i thought to cut, i slit my wrists and then passed out i can’t remember anything else but i remember waking up in the hospital with doctors checking me i was out for two days but i realised that i put so much pressure on my family and friends, but i will try my best to stop cutting i mean if i have children when im older i don’t want them to keep staring at my arms. So yes bully me cuz of my scars bully me cuz i cut […]

These past two weeks I’ve had the worst luck ever. Little things have happened that have given me some hope that things will start to get better but as soon as one good thing happens, it’s followed by ten horrible things. I can’t figure out what I’ve done to deserve all of this. I just want to start cutting again. I just don’t want anybody to know or to question me. I just want to sit in the bathroom and cry and cut to release some of this. Cutting has become one of the only ways for me to handle these hardships.

I’ve grown up with fairy tales and Disney shows. Did I watched the wrong shows all along?  They all had a Happily Ever After. What about reality ? Oh wait. Ops. I mentioned – REALITY.

REALITY IS JUST SO FUCKEDUP. THERE’S LIKE NO SUCH THING IN FOREVER. NO SUCH THING AS BEING HAPPY FOREVER. OMG. THE SOCIETY IS SHIT. LOVE FAILS ALL THE TIME. PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS JUDGING. + NOT FORGETTING YOU HAVE THAT INSECURITIES IN YOU. WHY IS EVERYONE SO JUDGMENTAL? WHY DOESN’T PEOPLE TREAT LOVE AS A SERIOUS THING? WHY?

Since this infestation I have been thinking what it would be like to be attacked by a large flock of pigeons and pecked to death.

im a junior in high school. i use to like school because I gotTo hang out with friends and forget about my troubles.. But I never see any of my friends this year, we all have different classes and I’m alone. I tried making friends, I’m anti social so it doesn’t really work. All school does is make me feel like a freak and going 5 days a week is too much for me to handle. Any other social outcasts on here?

I feel like slitting again. I feel like dragging the razor across my skin. I just sliced one across and I am so so so tempted to make more scar. I really don’t know what I can do. Please, can someone tell me if there’s another way I can just relive myself other than cutting. Cutting solves all my problems temporary because it stops the moment there. But I don’t wish to continue to scar my skin as I just recovered from cuts on my whole hands. I don’t want the stares. Please Please is there another method that I could do to bare all […]

Well. I posted something, but have yet to have anyone seem to take an interest in me… I guess this site isn’t for me.
Reaching out seemed important, but nothing came of it, as always happens

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHqo2FDJSU0I feel like nothing is going anywhere… nothing is getting any better. A year ago I moved to my father’s to finally get away from my mother, sister, and my mother’s boyfriend, because they were pushing me to the edge. They’ve always been “there” for me, at things like competitions for band, and driving me to school events… but that is pretty much where it ends.
My mother loves me, and I hate seeing her upset, but when my sister is around, there is always a pointless fight started by her, and I get to the point of just wanting to jump off the […]

This is the it. The one year anniversary of the day my world ended. And I feel like it is ending again. Come back to me…

There are two things that go together that I need to sort out. One is being bullied–

  I haven’t really been directly bullied. No one stop me in the hallbuoy spreads rumors. No one excerpt myself. I have and ask.fm and I am obsessed with it. I check it every minute of every hour of the day.  now I’m going to tell you something and before you say I’m an attention seeker trust me I’m nogo tone day I decided I hated myself so much that I wrote some hate anonymously on my wall and responded defending myself as the answer . I did this […]

The other thing is being alone. Everyday I go to school and whine that I have no real friends. And it’s true, I don’t. People say things to me here and there but no one wants to hear what I have to say. I tell myself that I find comfort in knowing that I’m on my own and I can’t be hurt because there literally is no one to Hurt me but then I find myself whining and crying wondering what I did to have no friends. Whenever I put myself out there I get rejected. Each time I get rejected I […]

i don’t know if i would say that i am actually suicidal right now.  i mean, i have thought about it before, but i have never had the guts to do anything about it.  but i just feel so hopeless.  i feel like i am at such a loss for anything and i don’t see a point anymore.  there really isn’t any one thing that is affecting me.  i just feel like my life doesn’t have meaning.  there is nothing in my life that is driving me forward.  i have stagnated and i’m stuck.  i don’t know what i am doing anymore and i don’t […]

Only my parents will know and care. I don’t want them to go through my death, but I can’t go through my life.

Is this whole world being run by demons?  Does it feel like larger (and malevolent) forces are dictating your life and this world?  Making things 100X harder than they should be?  Causing pain, humiliation, despair, anguish and grief for good hearted people and for animal?  It seem like everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and then some?  It seem like pieces of your mind is missing?  Seem like people want to hurt you?  Seem like you can say something that’s true and obvious 1000 times but no one will believes you or pay attention to you?   Seems like people are blind to what should […]

Does anyone have any first hand experience with a bird infestation? I have been having a problem with pigeons constantly nesting right above my back door and shitting all over the back yard. There are kids that play back there and bird poop can cause illnesses. At any given point during the day I can go into the back yard and find at least 10 to 20 birds scattered throughout the area. The back yard is quite small to be having 20 birds in it. This situation is pissing me off.

it realy sycks not being able to trust and believe anyone ..i never judge anyone for im not God but for the love of Christ eniugh is enough Lord.it sucks having to pray every day for this world to end or just kill me and get it over with ..sorry for beingblunt but Lord im at the end of my rope and it still reaches the ground and sorry im to normal  to perfict and to real and have christ like qualities   My hands are lifted high and i give it all to you Lord  ..with no turning back the pages of time  i […]

Everyday it seems to be getting worse and worse. I’m coming to the end of this pointless life that I have been attempting to live but it’s all too much. The final goodbye, it just a breath away.

I lie in my bed today, scrolling through the writings of other suicidal people… Relating to almost every expression of despair and desperation. I’m literally squirming, as if I think I might be able to wriggle out of my own skin!

MY STORY…
After separating from a long term partner at 30, I had achieved enough that I felt proud of myself and only hoped to find a wonderful partner to start a family with. Fortunately my physical appearance made getting lots of dates easy… But unfortunately my low self worth, flimsy boundaries, niceness, generosity, kindness, etc made selecting a good healthy partner unlikely (I was […]