I started online school this year back in sectmber. I dident notice then but slowly my friends started to dissaper. Now, only 1 of my former friends will talk to me, all the rest pretty much ignore me.  I started feeling sadder in october, and spent more time alone. Now I spend 95% of the day in my room, the rest of the day is spent at school taking band art and chorus. in december I was diagnosed with dyslexia, and I felt that I was an idiot. I was never an A student,  but now i just break down whenever i see me test scores, or overall […]
Drunk and bored. Drunk ’cause I hate life and am more than likely bipolar. Feel free to comment. Randomness is fine. Our fishbowl of a world is random anyway. yay.
You can’t change me, I won’t let you. Yeah, sure, you have a better chance, you win all the time. You don’t know who I’m talking about? Fucking society. Why doesn’t it just fuck off. I don’t need it and I certainly don’t want it.
But I digress,
I’m new here.
Support would be great. x
I’ll support anyone who listens ♥
So my birthday is tomorrow…the 4th of april. Actually it’s really depressing that I’m about to take my life. On the outside I’m that “wealthy girl” who lives the dream. Sure folks, my family is fucked up (My parents got divorced) and I DON’T have a friend who doesn’t call me a ***** for falling in love with a boy, who’s a dick anyway. He eventually broke up with me. So I had no friends, and my school only has 250 stundents. So there are “groups” in our school. And if you were a loner (Me) you can’t even get people to talk to you. […]
I can’t afford a new one.
I know putting your life at the same value as that of an object is… well. but none of us would be here if we were completely sane. I won’t have life without the internet. I won’t.
I haven’t been here for a while but I see not much has changed for a lot of people.im starting to come off the meds and doing well I haven’t thought about suiside for over a year now.if you are depressed hang in there it’s gotten better for me but the important thing I want to say is hang onto hope..maybe the light will shine through for you too
I swear to God I’m trying. When I say I don’t know, I really honestly and truly don’t know. Yesterday we talked about me being crazy, and you seemed ok with that. Well why not today? I’m no more or less crazy today. The demons that haunted then still haunt me now. Everything’s piling up but I swear I’m getting rid of it, maybe not on anyone’s schedule, but I am getting rid of it.
Well passed over at work again and now i want to take the biget with me how sad i want to go but i dont want to leave my wife or scar my kids or stepson, i just want to bang my head against the wall or go drive away for days but i will have to come back to me! wish i was able to turn off my head and sleep i am so tired and just tired (big sye) boo hoo what a suck i say to myself and go ahead you piss weak man and then the upper cut is no one […]
I’m only 12 and i just want the pain to end. My mum left me and my dad and brother when i was 10 and she hasn’t made contact since. lately ive been going through a lot  my dads being horrible to me he hits me and treats me horribly, to cope i take drugs and smoke.He favours my brother even my brother takes drugs and deals them. My school is giving me a rough time too they think that im just a naughty child and my dad does his best. and i just think if hitting children is his best then i wonder what the worst […]
Why is it that when you’re feeling even remotely happy or good about yourself something or someone has to knock you down?
I was so proud of myself for making it almost a whole 24 hours without cutting, and for me that was quiet an achievement, but them when I told a close friend (and the only person other then those on this site) about this achievement she proceeded to tell me about how pathetic it was to be happy about this, that normal people don’t count the days or hours that they haven’t cut, because there not stupid like me and don’t cut. I thought […]
Say I have a square peg and a triangular hole of roughly the same size. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make the peg fit in there. It just won’t work. I don’t have any other pegs to use. The only thing that makes sense is to give up. Continuing to try to force something unnatural makes me miserable, why would I keep doing that?
Yet that’s what everyone says I’m supposed to do, because I want it to fit so badly and I’m unhappy that it doesn’t. Wouldn’t it be better to shift my focus to something […]
head cupt in hands fingers in hear god leving me frend leving me hope leving me kife infront of me
sing me to sleep dont wake me up im all readey gon put on my favret record let me take my last pills im dark and cold
so leve me alon let me go not here aney more dont knoc on my door in the morning cos i whont get up dont bother smeling the blood
2 frends dead the rest runing not geting beter alone so glad to go got no hope my love left got so go i dont need this i a mess im a […]
Despair
Hopeless and tired
would it really matter if I died
I’m torn in two from the inside
blind to love
full of rage
I feel like I’m in a cage
despite my hate
I appreciate the one’s who caused
so much pain
I look at my scars
remembering those years
I start to fear
just who I’ve become
I’m going insane
so heres the truth
I don’t know what I’m doing here
filled with all this despair
-Sam
maybe if I had grown up in an athiest home I wouldn’t be having this problem, but I digress.
I really fucking hate you Jesus fucking Christ. You are not fucking God, you were just some sick twisted fucking control freak who could bend people to your will and used that advantage to fool billions into believing that you are God. I’ve had enough of your fucking crosses, your fucking sacraments, your goddamn fucking flesh and blood. In fact, I’ve had enough of religion entirely. I can’t believe that for my entire life so far I believed in a book written 2000 years ago by a […]
This will be my last post ever or last words i guess i know that none of you know me. But today i will die why i cant see anything bright or good I have lost all my friends to suecide just recently i lost my girlfriend the only person i loved the most on friday of cocain. please dont try to stop me i have 3 therapist and they could not help at alland please dont tell me my parents will be sad and care if i do beacouse i will say honestly thats a bunch of bs. When you learn that you were […]
Please read and comment. I am 14 years old, and a boy. I don’t think I can take this much longer. Earlier I used to be a school topper(Currently I am in Class X). In class 7th, my rank dropped. From that point on my life has become hell. My mom is of a very high temper. She now keeps abusing me all the time and beating me. She keeps telling all my friends and relatives that I am a failure. She even broke my Lumia 820, which I ordered by my own money(Google Adsense). I don’t think I can take this anymore. I have […]
I hate the scars on my wrists and my legs. I hate them for reminding  me of my pain. I hate them for giving people a reason to judge me before they even know me. I hate when people call me emo or crying for attention. I use to cut because the physical pain was easier to bear than the emotional. a cut can be healed cleaning and bandaging the wound. Simple. But how do you heal scars that have remain open and jagged for years? Time does not heal all wounds and I will not forget the past and risk making the same mistakes.
I dont know if I am over reacting or not, but I am so tired of dealing with depression. I’m so tired of feeling tortured day in and day out and never seeing any end to anything I do.
I am currently a college student and nothing I do on campus seems to help my cause. Â I am probably just feeling sorry for myself, but I am probably dyslexic and can’t stay focused in any of the classes i am taking and therefore failing them. Â I find little interest in anything I do and therefore skip all of my classes that I have to go to. […]
What if in the end ill never get better?
Everyone says i will but im not sure.
How can you believe in me when i cant believe in myself.
My heart is broken.
My mind a prison.
As much as i want to die
I also want to get better.
I want someone to save me from myself.
But what if no one ever comes?
What if im destined to be alone.
My heart hurts so much i just want to turn it all off.
I wander in a trance and those are my best moments.
As much as i dont want to say it.
Im afraid to die.
Ok, so i guess i have to tell you something about me. Well im 14, girl, puertorican. So here’s the story of a messed up girl. She was never normal, never sane. Where should i begin?
Ok, I guess we should start at the very beginning. Ever since i could remember, i always thought of death. How would it feel to take that huge knife in the kitchen and just stab myself in the chest. Yeah, call me crazy. but i did wonder how it would feel to see the blood coming out of me as a waterfall and to slowly feel my soul being taken […]