So, I have to take the ACT this morning. Yes, I’m 13, but I was accepted to take it by Duke University (The TIP Program). I’m a little nervous, Â but I think I’ll be just fine. Anyway, I had a dream last night. A dream about Owen. I dreamed that we got married. I hated it. I didn’t love him. I loved Trevor. I know it seems like Trevor is kind of a “bad boy”, but he treats me just as well as Owen does. I don’t know what to do. Of course, I’ve decided to give Owen a chance, but.. I don’t know. Something […]
Honestly, what is the point of hurting someone you loved? There is no point is there? & there never will be, do you understand yet? It wouldn’t suprise me if you did just use me. I’m sure yoy do that to all girls.. You said “i know how it feels! I’ll never do it to you!” that was jusy a bunch of bullshit lies? I’d honestly rather be dead then have to think of you, i fucking hatie it! Why did i have to go through this?! I’m beggjng you to stop but will you ever? Probably not. Will it eber be the same? Doubtful.. […]
I was never a religious person nor am I now but I often think that I am stuck in hell. “Hell on earth” , hell of depression , loss , memories , feeling like I am speaking in a foreign language because people may hear me but they DON’T understand me so I resort to silence then there is the heartbreak , the feeling like your heart is literally being broken into two and the thoughts come and they are anything but organised.. I am left angry and exhausted. I think , this is what he must of felt like and I had no idea. […]
I don’t know how to live my life anymore. Everything is so fake. I had to live almost eleven years hiding the fact that he harasses me, trying to rape me every chance he had. and I got through it for myself.
I try to be a better person but still feel that no one understands. Everyone tells me why I’m not happy? How do they want me to smile if I live with the constant reminder of what he did to me.
She say I’m weird, I should live somewhere else, not at home with my brothers infecting them whit […]
I am full out screaming on the inside as my life feels so out of control.
My life should be more even keeled than it is and I am so fed up with trying to keep my balance and do the right thing all of the time. I know I could just go to bed but it is better to dump this poisonous mood on here and get it out of my physical body. I want to have what I believe is a better place to live, in a better area and the thought behind that is that if I am in a better physical […]
Long story short.
I was so in love with my ex boyfriend. Everyone always asked why I dated him because I model and they all thought he was so “below” my league. But I adored him. And believed him when he said we would get married and go to college together.
He cheated on my behind my back for 7 months. He would never take me on dates or buy me flowers. I did all the work. At christmas he promised to take me on a trip to NYC. I got nada.
His new girlfriend he left me for? Trip to NYC for christmas. That was supposed to […]
Ok so my new psych basically told me that if I continue to take drugs she can’t see any point in us trying to work on things. Jesus the fact im takin so many drugs is because I hate life so much and need help before I do actually succeed in my attempts. If this is the help I get then quite frankly, I can do without being made to feel like a useless junkie.
I feel  alone and unloved. I’m constantly feeling numb and as though I’m a waste of space. I came here to vent . Hopefully it helps. Although I doubt it will. I feel empty all the time and constantly contemplate killing myself.. I’d cut but I have no energy.. I think if i had a gun close by, I’d already be dead….
my story goes back over 20 years ago. I spent all of the time depressed,angry, unable to fit in, with an overal clarity and understanding of how dismal life really is. Enlightened. I finally was designated with PTSD…the VA profided all sorts of false hope and more than enough prescriptions to dull whatever senses I had left. I kept with their regimen..a good soldier with a true wish to be cured. Just to be happy….maybe even joyful. One by one, i lost old freinds, then family. A few hung in there becoming scholars on the issues. studying..proclaiming their understanding…..only to finaly cave in and admit […]
I wonder if the Wellbutrin has finally started to work…
I was fake-happy this morning, and I didn’t think (seriously) about killing myself even once, all day. Â And tonight I was sad but not suicidal-sad. Â Now I’m…okay.
Yet nothing has changed, so. Â Hmm.
Part of me doesn’t want to get better if it means I can’t kill myself. Â That’s kinda fucked up.
I havent been on here in about a month. Mostly because Ive been trying to better myself. But things have gotten bad again. I think I might need help, because I cant control myself sometimes. And it makes me feel bad because I try so hard to. I just recently started punching things again. I want to do that right now actually. It makes me feel better. But I made a promise to someone I love that I wont. For some reason, I just want pure silence and to be left alone.
Umm, I don’t know if I’m posting on here correctly, or if people will even see. I have lived with depression since I was seven years old (yes, really, I was sent to a child psychologist, put that on your CV).
I am now 28 and I have battled all my life. I saw my friend kill himself 10 years ago but unfortunately that has not put me off.
I guess I’d like to find people who think that my feelings are normal, and that the inevitable is not such an evil thing.
SBF
Haven’t been here lately.. Things seemed to be going alright enough for me to stop bitching about my life for one second, lol whatever… Im back into the downward spiral, everything seems dimmer, darker, and badder (thats not a word..) my head is spinning, and now I’m sitting down with a couple pills in my system and drinking a few drinks. Damn..
Hi people, just felt like sharing this and I see, that I am not the only one here
My name is George, I am 17. Yes, I know I am young. I am Russian and Danish. The problem is, that since I have been 12 or 13 years old, I had this belief, that there must be a reason, that I could not have been born just to die. And I decided to fill my life with stuff, like travelling to ‘cool’ places, studying languages (I am writing in one of them now), getting hobbies, like reptiles and stuff, moved to another country, started living alone […]
My life has pretty much sucked.
Troubled mother, no father, poverty, molested as a child, tormented in school, depression, anxiety, too much pressure to do well in life from family, friends and myself, auto immune disease, can’t seem to find decent friends etc. etc.
Often since I was a teenager have I wanted to end this, to put an end to this constant stream of suffering that just keeps piling on but obviously I’m still here so I haven’t done it yet. Most often I find myself living because of the people around me, not particularly because I want to or enjoy it but because it is […]
I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I mean, Owen is a great guy. He’s wonderful. But my thoughts still drift back to Trevor. And I feel like I’m not giving Owen the kind of love he deserves. I can’t just lie to him. But I don’t think I can break his heart, either. See, I wouldn’t have this problem with Trevor. At least, I don’t think I would. Â I really like Trevor, and God, I feel horrible for saying it, but I can’t help how I feel. Help?
Feeling really lonely tonight
Those of us who feel reprieve from the depths of hell need to step up. This is my first attempt at following any type of Suicide Blog and had absolutely NO idea that people post as they are fading away. I was usually too intoxicated and incoherent to do anything other than scream and yell into a phone at the few people who would still pick up the phone.
I am reading right now that people are in the throws of taking their lives as we breath at this moment. They are taking pills or trying to hang themselves yet still have the where with all […]
So I’m not going to bother you too much with this.
But I want to die because I have no purpose here any more.
This is because:
I feel worthless and alone. There is no-one who cares, no-one who wants me. I could see people celebrating my death.
I am a coward so I want to take the easy escape route away from my horrible feelings. Ironically, I am just too cowardly to even go through with suicide. Hopefully this will change.
I have been abused all my life by my fucking dad. That’s right. I hate him so fucking much, and what’s worse is I am too chicken […]