I am not used to love. When I fall in love, I get physically and mentally sick. When  first realize that I am in love, I want to throw up, my stomach starts to hurt, I start to have a hard pain in my chest if I’m not with that person, I feel suddenly tired and really sleepy. I start feeling so sad, really sad and out of me. Eventually, if I am not with that person, I start feeling depressed and then suicidal. I would describe this as some kind of poisoning.
I met a girl online and she introduced me one of her […]
this picture is of me. i got made fun of becasue i was different.wen my mother found out that i started to cut, she didn’t do anything.she thought i was crazy. but thing was she didn’t understand.a girl came up to me and said, ”hey freak show why don’t you just go kill yourself.so i ran home.my mother was at work and my dad had die in a car crash a year ago , so i was alone in the house.my mom had these pain pills so i took one.and another, and another, and another. finaly i gave up and swallowed them all.i must of […]
If anyone knows of another site where they post on ways to consider staying alive I would be most grateful to know of it….I am more interested in ways to stay alive and not so much looking for ways of how to end it all….so if you know of a site, please pass on to here, and thanks so much 🙂
15 years old and havin a shitty life im adopted my bio mom name is karen my bio dad michael left right after i was born i moved around alot my mom was always with abusive men and into sex drugs and drinking dcfs had to get involved when my mom was with this one man who physically abused me and shook me till i fell unconsciousness and i was only two years old i nearly died sometimes now i wish i did i was supposed to to me i sometimes think im gunna end up the exact same way as my momn middle school […]
I’m just so tired of being this way.
But too scared to actually do anything about it. How pathetic is that?
Hoping every night to not wake up. Terrified of making life worse. Guilty because I know so many more people have it so much worse.
Nothing unique, I know. Entirely unremarkable, me.
Look at my body.
Look at my scars.
You see them?
Do you think there are too many?
Well, I can tell you,
it’s about less than 1% of the scars that are inside.
You don’t believe?
Ofcourse not, because you won’t.
You won’t believe that I have a terrible life.
But look at my body.
Look at my scars.
You see them?
Do you think there are too many?
Well, I can tell you,
they are uncountable.
Try to count them.
You can’t?
Ofcourse not,
because there are too many of them.
How much you ask?
I don’t know, maybe 300,
maybe 400, 500, 600 or […]
I found this website and decided to post, because I have nowhere else to turn.
I think I am close to ending my life. For the last seven years, I have suffered from crippling depression and anxiety. I always had anxiety when I was a child, and in retrospect, I wish I had gotten help. But I was just a child, and I always thought that, in the end, I would be okay; that it was nothing too serious; that perhaps it was normal and that I would “grow out of it.” But I never did. As I got older I began to realize that my […]
I suppose I do it to myself most times. I wish i could blame someone else; that would make it easier. But its all me. My stupidity, my poor decisions, my attitude. I just want it to end. I hate being numb all the time. It feels like the only thing i can feel is anger or sadness. I want to kill myself but i’m just afraid of what might happen if it doesn’t work. I don’t want to feel any more pain. I just want it to be done–quick and clean.
What am i supposed to do? There’s no reason for me to stay. I […]
I’m old and my life doesn’t have enough pros to be happy but it doesn’t have enough cons, visible cons, for others to stop shaming me. No matter what I say no one believes me, that and other times I’ll get treated rudely; “kicked while down”
I’ve learn that anytime I tried to explain what is going on, I’ll be painted as “resisting” and “unstable” regardless of how legitimate my words and experience are. Usually I take a deep breath everytime it happens. It doesn’t help my situation, it definetly doesn’t help but only lets me reach this acute solution of few minutes where I regress, […]
yet again I’ve lost a bestfriend. I’m sick of it to be perfectly honest, I’m always being left on the side line and being abandoned. Ergh. They just leave when they find someone better, I could have guessed they was just using me for someone to talk to. So why did I tell them all that stuff? Just for them to turn around and say I need help. Ha. Funny that, concidering what they’ve done… Im fe up of this continuous cycle, I don’t want to fight them anymore, but I’m sick of being used, i just want to end this god damned life, […]
Why do these things always seem to happen to me? I remember when i use to be happy and full of fun and joy but that was when i was 13 and now im 18. The trouble in my life all started when i moved to this small town called didsbury just half hour outside of my city Calgary Alberta i had my friends in Calgary id talk to them when ever i could this was before i had Facebook or Xbox live. i went through hell in that town i was beat up and bullied all the time and that’s what organically started my […]
… To be surrounded by people who hate you, to have every movement filled with grinding pain, to live in a world that takes more and more, and offers nothing but lies, false hope and contempt in return. Yeah, life is great, and if you want to end it, to turn around and say:- “Fuck You Jimmy. Screw your lies, and screw this miserable, exploited and downtrodden existence”, to take the first and only truly independent and self serving action in this fucking ‘orrible existence, well, what do the gaolers say? Oh no! Quel surprise, there must be something wrong with my head. I must […]
My dad recently started posting online somewhere about how my mum is a bad mother. Tonight he says he did a survey online to find out what others think. They voted in his favour. And that’s all he needs to feel he is justified. So tell me, would a good FATHER abuse his family? Make his family literally shake in fear like I am now? Break things, and physically hurt people? Shout and abuse people until they break? Deny his son of any choice in his life whatsoever? Make his son feel like he has to commit suicide to escape the pain of life? Shut […]
I’m 24 and I’m a larger gentlemen. I’ve have been told “I’m a heartattack waiting to happen”. I’ve had and continue to have depression/anxiety/bipolar disorder/OCD/Aspergers, so I’ve been around the mental illness block and with too many marks on my arm to count. For the longest time, I thought the only thing I really wanted and was missing was a girlfriend. Well recently I had started talking with a girl, things were going very well and a date was set up. I canceled the date and told her I’d been having some problems and wasn’t ready to meet anybody or be in a relationship. She was very understanding and […]
He could have put dagers into my heart, and it would hurt much less. He could have shot me even. Everything would have been easier. His goal, was killing me inside slowly. Wasn’t that everyones wish? It’s now mine. Do you know what it’s like ? To count your breaths? As you regret each and everyone one. Hearing your heart beat so fast? Wishing it was just your last? I wish..hope..now and here to, soon end it. Just as many people do. But this time, it’s NO ONE’s choice, but my own.<3
Everything I had told him about my past was a lie in one way or another. I was afraid he wouldn’t love me if he found out what scum I used to be, and it turns out that I am still scum.
I treated the only person I have left with disrespect and now he doesn’t know why he loves me.
I had second thoughts, I got caught up in lies and hurt him and now that I am being honest with him, it still causes him pain. I promised him I wouldn’t do anything to harm myself and I have stuck to it, but he keeps […]
I’m a 14 year old girl. I cannot blame my depression and other emotional problems on other people. Although, yes, based on others’ actions & words, I slowly morphed into a very gloomy person. But i take full credit because I let it all get to me instead of staying strong like most people suggested after sharing my feelings. After starting elementary school i realized what a cruel world i lived in. Exclusion and judgement had me go home frowning. “Don’t talk to her because she’s ugly,” they’d say. I began growing out my bangs then covering a majority of my face with them. Insecurity […]
It’s been months since the last time I held a knife close to my forearm
I had kept myself distracted and persuaded myself into thinking cutting doesn’t help at all
but personally
i don’t feel as numb once my skin has been detatched
at least, temporarily
and it sucks
uncertain if i should attempt to
Because it brings much more harm
Than it brings good
Questions swirl
Why am I so depressed?
Why am i so angry?
Why am I so ugly?
Is it the weather?
Every little dilemma?
When should I start again?
Dad said i have a “shitty attitude”
My brother says I ruined everything for him
Guys are always criticising my appearence
And I’m not the friend I used to be
At […]
So, I just found out that, um, Owen is 16. And he’s going to be 17 in a few days. Fuck. I mean, yeah, he’s sweet, cute, and stuff, but.. I just don’t like him. I tried to, but I can’t make myself feel something that I don’t. Maybe I should just tell him that my parents found out and said that he was too old for me…
Sometimes I feel like nothing,just a body.Thats on a good day.Because on a bad day it hurtsto be alive,when i do feel…
When i’m numband I’m just a body’going through the motions’not caring if I’m gonna be homeless tomorrow,or have nothing to eat,or if I’m gonna be in physical pain.
But when i’m empty,I’m numb,I’m just useless and take up space,and wish i could give my life to somebody that wants it.Its so unfair,some people have terminal illnesses and would give anything to stay alive,yet here I am,wishing for death..
There I’m starting to feel,Guilt. I dont want to feel,I just want to be numb.
Comfortably numb..