i dont know why im so useless. Im 14 years old and i get akward around people, can barely hold a conversation and cant seen to get along with my family very much at all. Im frustrated in everything! I dont know if theres a god or not, i want a future, but i cant deal with life anymore. Please i cant live with myself. Me and my mom just got into a huge fight, and i feel like a complete waste. I cursed her out and everything. I want to end my worthless life but im scared. What if there is a hell? I […]

i just want everything to stop.. come to an end i don’t care how, i just want it gone… i’m scared and all i feel is emptiness and sadness and i want it gone i hate pain, sadness and emptiness.

i am turning 24 next month. i am a single mother. a college student and i work part time. i was an addict a few years ago and have turned my life around. i was raised by my grandarents. my mother is an addict. my father lives a wonderful life an hour away. i live in hell. i have rude grandparents as hard as it is to believe because grandparents are supposed to be nice they yell at me and tell me how lazy i am and how stupid i am how much of a b i am and how much of a sorry mother […]

So this is my first time even talking about this. I thought opinions from people i dont know might help.
I have been stuggleing with what has been described as a manic depressive disorder. I dont know of its any different from anybody elses, but the easiest way to describe it is that i can be brought down by things simple as a 3 second memory. Ill randomly become depressed for different severeties and random amounts of time. It can be mintues to months.
Latley though just cant get through it […]

my brother passed away in march and ever since that day i just dont wanna live anymore i mean i dont want to hurt myself but i just dont know what to do or how to deal with this pain

Well it’s been a while that I came to this site. I don’t know if anybody missed me, my existence doesn’t really matter at this point anyway. I’m just a shell moving by the habits that have been inprinted in it.

It has been a month since I moved in Ontario. Following this lofty scenario where I deluded myself with naive idea that my life would get better, that “grass is alway greener on the other side”. Well I don’t see any more colors here either. It just came to me today that I have been eating only one “meal” of junkfood a day since three […]

The round colorful combination is deadly
Tomorrow this will all be through.
Finally an end to my torment
They’d understand if only they knew
Raising the glass and I open my hand…
The thoughts of loved flash through my head
I drop the pills to the floor
It’d kill tomorrow if today I was dead.
Upstairs working on the computer
An electric shock as I look at the plug
The reaction is deadly assisted with water
rising my little brother  tackles me with a hug.
I sit back down grimace him a smile.
I can’t kill myself infront of my brother
He’d be dissappointed if he knew this is all he had for a sister
I could not bear his […]

Life is crazy. Really all I ever hear are the yells if my mother. About how we aren’t good enough. It’s living hell. sometimes I just wanna run away. But I have no where to go. lol. But no seriously. Everything right now is just falling apart.nits almost as if my life is like oh hey your life is bad lets make it worse than hell!! Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with myself. I’m  just falling apart. And no one knows.

I hate feeling this way. I almost can’t take it anymore. If I don’t cut, I’m going to explode. But if I do, everything else will go to shit. And I’ll have one more disgusting scar on my body that I’ll ave to look at every day for the rest of my life. When does this end? Seriously. When will this be over? It’s like the word suicide is my new word for hope. It’s as comforting to me as hope used to be. I don’t have hope anymore. I just have these overwhelming feelings and only one way out. That scares me.

when i reached out to my ex a few months ago, he told me “quit being so stupid, you’re not 15 anymore”.

i reached out to someone tonight.

someone i thought i could trust not to hurt me.

someone at work told me earlier today that we are forced to go through the same things again and again til we learn our lesson.

all i can think about is cutting deeper and deeper til i cut too deep. this image of huge gashes in my wrist is stuck in my head like a pop song.

sometimes i miss my ex so bad that it makes me not want to live, […]

Yesterday,my cat died and I know I’m prob being silly for being this sad over an animal,but she meant a lot to me.I love her so much.It’s like she left with a piece of my heart.I’d do anything to hold my cat one last time.I feel so alone and heartbroken.It would help out a lot to get some imput from someone that experienced this kind of tragedy.Please.

wake up
get beat physically by sister verbal abuse by dad and watch mom say nothing all for being alive
wonder around (not like i have anyone to hang with?)
sister has chores: this means “ok whatver” then “hannah if u dont do my chores i will beat u so hard” not llike i can just walk away cuz she chokes me and pusheds me to the ground then says “wow this is why your fat all u do is sit on your ass”
then i do her chores an my chores and when i do something of hers wrong guess what? im slapped and […]

Life what the f*ck is it about cause I truly don’t know anymore. I mean nothing makes sense anymore. People tell you bad situations don’t last long but I would like to challenge that theory. Happiness doesn’t last long so if you ever achieve it cherish it because it’s temporary. However, misery can last a life time. I’m living proof of that I know I’m only 19 but I’ve been miserable for the majority of my life. And right now I’m just exhausted. My life has no meaning to me anymore. I have to be the loneliest teenager in the world. You know people think […]

Like the song I see many people on this site trying to do that, promising all these things and getting people to hold on, like with anyone’s post about peoples problems and feelings it seems everyone or many people can offer advice, but isn’t offering people false advise and false dreams also an act of cruelty it is with this in mind I have not made as many positive comments that I could of, but after all the FAQ for this site tells us that this is not a place to look for salvation and to expect to be saved it is a simple place […]

I’ve been going through the motions for a few years, now.  Living on autopilot, mostly.  I occasionally do something nice for myself; traveling to China and Europe and getting a new car and cool new toys.  Sometimes that makes me forget.  Sometimes it makes me question my decision.  It always fades, though, and the reality always returns to embrace me and remind me why.  I always smile and accept, too; death is a light at the end of my tunnel.  I look forward to it, but it is something I cannot allow myself to have just yet; I am still needed.  There is someone very […]

Basically I feel like I want to die most days. Some days I am ok, but I am a very depressed person, I let my depression consume me. I really need some anti-depressants, but I am still waiting for my health insurance to kick-in so I can see a psychiatrist. I believe in God, but I don’t understand why I feel bad enough to want to kill myself. I’ve been thinking about killing myself for years but something always stops me. I don’t think I will actually kill myself, but I have thought about how I would do it.
I am currently living in Philly, […]

Sometimes i’m just so tired of life and I just wish I could like just not exist. It’s feels like I just don’t want to do anything anymore. Nothing amuses me. Nothing keeps my interest. I just want to disappear for a while. just do nothing. Stay in the void for a few days then come back later.

You know what i’m talking about? I know it might sound confusing. Sorry but that’s just how I feel sometimes.

I can’t be what you want me to be.

Im sorry.

I can’t be smart.

I can’t be pretty.

I can’t be open-minded.

I can’t be strong.

I can’t be fierce.

I can’t be what you want me to be.

Im sorry.

I cant be the honor roll student, Mom.

I can’t be the perfect girl, Jeremy.

I can’t be the ‘fun child’, Chris.

I can’t be open-minded, Morgan.

I can’t be your hero, Shanelle.

I can’t be what you want me to be.

I’m sorry.

I’m […]

Hey there. Was going to use a fake name but it’s too much effort so you can just call me Kurea. She’s a character from a japanese anime i like.

I found this site on google. I can’t even remember what i was searching for. “What’s the point in living” or something similar i suppose. But i found it and it intrigued me. Not alot interests me these days, maybe it’s the idea other people feel the same as i do. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone though, not even my worst enemy.

I guess we’re all depressed here. Well so am i. It’ll be 6 years […]

I do not fit to this world. This is my conclusion after over 25 years. Everyone sees me laughing, doing stupid things to be the funny guy in the band, always a joke to say. But nothing of this is real, i don’t care of people, of things, of life.

All my life I thought making other people laugh will make me happy but it’s not even close. I am popular, yes, got friends calling me every days to discuss of their super lifes, and I keep saying “nothing new on my side, it’s all cool, the bloody routine”. I am tired of this, tired […]