And you know what? Im not depressed…well not anymore, or being suicidal right now. I just WANT to die. Im happy, nothing bad is going on. I just want to die. Im ready. I dont want to be here, and im hoping that by my next birthday, im dead, and thats in January. I just cant wait to leave earth. Thats it
I am very young to be thinking about this… I’m only 13. Even though my life is pretty good (good friends, loving family) I can’t help but feel SO DEPRESSED. This is my first year of middle school, and my grades are average. My parents are divorced. I’m not sure what is happening, but I used to be so happy. Now I find it so hard to smile. I’m trying… I want to be happy. But things just keep piling on and lately I’ve just feel like I’m trapped. I want out. An I’ve tried talking it out with my friends… But when I do […]
So I had the police around again, twice in two days. The first time I got away with it, but the next day they came with a doctor and paramedics and got dragged off to hospital and was forced into care (for the 3rd time) and my 5th hospitalization. Have now had about 10 run-ins with the police this last year.
I was supposed to be dead, I emptied my office last weekend and then went home fully intending to once and for all end it all. I knelt there with my head in a noose and a syringe with enough anesthesia drug (will not mention […]
as her mother looks into her eyes
she sees the pain she sees the hurt she knows her daughter needs help but doesnt know wat to do services has threatend to take her child away so now she is scared she wakes up the next morning finds a a trail of pills on the floor then an empy bottle lye next to the last pill as she walks into her daughters bedroom and finds another empty bottle of pills on her lamp platform she tries to wake her daughter as the EMT’s rush thru the house and back to the hospital screams are heard from the […]
just another day
just another pill
just another life
just another girl
hateing her life
hateing the world
grabbing for the knife
ends all the pain
As my depression and desire to harm myself have begun to take over my thoughts again, I turn here for the affirmation that I am not alone. The young age of most posters really does hurt, but I know my problems had manifested by age 15, I just had no one to talk to about it. I can’t add much to this discussion except to say: only we can understand where we are. My family knows what I face, but cannot grasp it. They are sympathetic, but cannot understand. It’s painful to talk to someone about how badly you feel, how you want to die, […]
My bad attitude caused by frustration and self hatred has pushed those who used to care about me far far away. I know we’re all alone no matter what, but it kills me not to have at least that illusion making us feel as though we are not alone. I started cutting a few days ago and each day the  cut gets a  little deeper. I was just looking for a distraction from my emotional pain. I haven’t felt happiness all year. I’m beginning to question if there even is a possibility for me to feel happiness again. I used to rely on strangers to […]
So it’s actually a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and its actually warm outside. Everyone always seem to enjoy the sunshine. People are happier and less annoyed and it only makes me more irritated. It only reminds me more of how miserable I feel.
I cant even fucking smoke my weed because every one of my neighbours are outside. And if I just go outside and leave the house for a few minutes my mom will ask me what I was doing. Where do you go for 5 minutes but you need to leave the house? Also since I couldnt smoke all day […]
I was depressed for the past few years (5 years) because of feelings of inadequacy and immense pressure from school. All that was amplified by the fact I never attracted the interest of girls and every girl i ever liked never cared about me that way and slowly friends stopped talking to me.
But everything stopped when my mother finally allowed me to gym. I suddenly received an increased efficiency when it came to my studies which was a major source of pain for me.
Slowly my pain started to fade, I stopped having my strange suicidal dreams of scenarios involving how she never cared […]
The unfairness of life has become unbearable, and so I need to end it.Â
My beautiful mother became ill, bed ridden for 7 years. The routine for taking care of her, was to clean her, feed her, even wiped her soil, everyday for 7 years. I was a 12 year old girl when it started. Then when I turned 15, I worked as a janitor just to put food on the table and buy medicines, hopeful that she would get better. But she didn’t, and died a withered shell of a person. Then, my father became ill too. The same thing happened for another 7 years. […]
I almost made it 28 yrs ago when I felt the world had given up on me or maybe I had given up on the world i don’t know any more I was 24 just had my 3rd son and in my 2nd marriage my first one was abusive , I finally got out. now my husband had left me with a newborn . my family no help said i was crazy like my Grandma I cryed so much that no tears came any more just the empy feeling nobody loved me nobody cared the world would be better off with me gone,I took the […]
I am NOT a fuck up. I do care. I care so fucking much. I know I don’t have scars on the outside, but inside I’m torn to shreds. Don’t you dare say you understand. NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS. I will not be dropping out of school. I will not be failing. Will you all just stop talking about it please and let me be alone?
Yes, my grades are absolute and complete shit. I realize that. No I don’t know how I’ll get them up, but will you SHUT THE FUCK UP?! Okay, I need help, I realize that. But I don’t need you. I need […]
I love the rain…
because it soothes my skin
it cleans my slate
it cleans within
my love and hate
because it cleanses my youth
and brings me life
it tells the truth
and renews my strive
but… most of all
it hides my fears
and helps me stand tall
and hides my tears
i dont know how to explainn it but i feel empty inside… its like ive given up on everything, my hopes, my will, and dreams…. ive completely frozen over, i dont show any emotion anymore and if i do, its all forced, it’s fake, i cant take it anymore…. i thought maybe its because i didnt feel anything about my friend who died recently or maybe ive just gotten use to death being apart of my life… idk anymore but this thing, this depression has changed me, each and every time i wake up i seem to be getting deeper into the darkness and soon […]
“I sit here contemplating my life, I wonder what it has become. I raised four beautiful children on my own who in turn have given me two beautiful grandchildren.” Now why would someone who has that want to commit suicide?
Lets take a deeper look into the life of this young woman who seems to have it all: She’s a single mother who’s children have grown and started their own live’s in other cities, even in other states. She hears from them maybe once a week if not longer unless they need something. They know she’ll always be there. A woman who finds herself alone […]
Pain….It’s the only thing I can feel, and it’s the one thing that I no longer want to feel.
I’m just a shell of the person I used to be.
Im worried about her. I have seen her cuts and she hasnt been to school in over a week. I hope she’s okay :/
this is my first post so if i jibber-jabber to much i do apologize. im new at this the thought of a bunch of strangers reading this is still kind of weird but one of you might be or have been in the position im in and i would actually like to know the thoughts of someone that i guess can somewhat understand me. so here goes a bit of whats on my mind right now….
i get suicidal thoughts a lot lately. a couple days ago, i guess you can say i had a bit of a melt down. i was texting one of […]
im thinking,the next train usaully goes past a little after 10 o clock,i waited untill it gets dark out so noone sees me and gets tramatized,mabey i should jump the train first, see were it takes me,mabey to a different state,but then i will have to change my appearence, if i do decide to go tonight, im nervis,iv been out of my body before,i have had a obe,and i saw something i never want to see again,wen i went back in my body, i still felt that presence,i dont know what happens wen you die, noone does untill it happens to them, but being out […]
I doubt anyone would take a look at this. But I have no one else to turn to. I have screwed up my life so tremendously, I feel that I have no other choice but to kill myself. My boyfriend, the one whom I love more than life itself, saw that I was texting my ex. I was just texting him to see how he was doing, but my bf had told me explicitly that he didn’t want me talking to him. Now he is calling me a liar and that I’m going to regret ever lying to him. I don’t know what he’s going […]