this is kind of long, so if you dont want to waste your time, then dont read this. its not that good anyway.

its been about 5 or 6 months since ive been on this site, because i tried to stop because writing more depressing things was pointless and a waste of time. i know im not the worst off, there’s plenty of people on here that have it so much worse than me that i feel guilty for being suicidal. but i have to write once again because i have that feeling that maybe I’ll meet someone on here who has maybe been in the same […]

Ive had depression for roughly 4 years now and I’m at the stage where death is a comforting thought but there’s no way I could abandon my mum. If it wasnt for her I would have killed myself a long time ago. Just when I start to feel happy it all comes crashing down again and Im sick of trying new ways to make myself feel better but as long as my mum is here I feel like I have to keep trying. Anyone else feel like this?

I Stumbled Across This Sight In Desperation, I Wanted To Know The Easiest, Quickest And Painless Way To Die, I Was At My Wits End, I Can’t Really Tell Anyone About How Im On Here, They Wouldn’t Understand, Say Its Bad, Im Intrested In Criminal Psychology, I Read Book Upon Book About Different Veiws, Watch All I Can About It, I Came Across A Programme Saying Websites Like This Just Hurt People More, There Dangerous And Poision Peoples Minds, I Totally DISAGREE! There Are Support Groups For People For Other Things That They Dont Look On As Bad, The Suicide Project Has Helped Me,  More Than Anything Has Before. Reading […]

I only knew you from a few postings on here.

But you really seemed like a really kind and caring guy.

Even in your pain you encouraged others.

And you also said quite a few things that added to my education and wisdom.

Your last message seemed to be when you were on your way out.

Out of respect I do hope you found the peace you were looking for.

Yet in the same breath i hope you found a living way to ease your pain.

Wherever you are caucajun, you will be missed.

My brother in life and death…..

Be well wherever you may be.

I am 55. I am being treated for depression. Have been for several years now. Drugs, therapy…I changed the drugs…..more therapy. On it goes… To those who are hurting, like me, right now: Do not believe anyone who says, “whatever it is you want, If you really want it, work hard at it, then your dreams will come true.” This is false. What is supposed to happen is that you will eventually change your dream in order to accept the new truth that your dreams and aspirations will not come true. Next: “God knows the answer”. This is an affront to the reality that God […]

Dear folks,

I have been reading the posts here for a few weeks now. My heart goes out for everyone who feels there is no one for them and/or there is nothing to live for. I don’t know who you are but I love you all. I know there are times where I feel like giving up, but I always find the strength to move on. I wish I could inspire some of you and would love to be your sounding board. I have always helped people and I am confident I can contribute something here. I also know in my […]

No energy to wake from this bed, sit up but i’m achinq cus i know exactly what the day holds. My mum abusinq the house cus she’s mentally ill. Constantly shoutinq at everyone. No mates to keep me goinq. Day’s pass yet nothin’ ever get’s any better. I’m an 18 year old girl with no job, mates or family. Is this really life. Wish it would all end peacefully. The night looks nice tonight, it’s cold but if i had someone, anyone too share it with it would make the world itself nice. Beautiful infact. The only thing keepinq me goinq is knowinq other people […]

While my ex friends ***** about me nt realising I’m standing behind them then won’t admit it, I feel betrayed loney lost so when I go home thinking it’ll be fine I have arguments and I go to my room I get the knife a slice my arm … It doesn’t hurt it feels nice to get away from everyone . Then I go to school the next day people see them then they try apologising to me ha they can go screw themselves I don’t care it doesn’t hurt

In one word just one word. How are you feeling today?

For me? Fake

I might just have a really good idea that might save us. What if we all went on a suicide journey. Just go somewhere just to have an adventure. Like a couple of weeks of spontanious adventures. Just going with the wind. Seeing something beautiful. Then when we get back we make our decisions weather we want to die or not. I think that’s what I’m going to do. If there’s nothing beautiful here I might as well look somewhere else

I cant even really exsplain why today im so depressed. I wanna cut like you wouldnt believe.. i even tried hanging myself today.. :/ my friend brittany is trying to cheer and is some what succeding but i just dont know anymore. I hate this feeling .. no one even knows i even skipeed school because of it .. and last night when we had our chior preformance i couldnt even be happy like i usally am.. the one thing that usally brought me so much joy “singing” i just dont even care about anymore… what do i do when the things keeping me […]

 Its long though so I don’t think anyone will read it, but I think it would make me feel better to get this of my chest. Because it’s so long I’ll just stick this one until high school.

I have some memories from when I was like 3 or 4, but I can’t really remember most of my life before I was twelve. I guess I pushed it away somewhere in the back of my head.

I know I have been sexually abused from age 4 till bout 6 or 7 by a girl who was in my class. I cant really remember much though, I know […]

Today I had my very important presentation. Which sucked.
The teacher said it was boring.
Wow, thank you teacher for being encouraging and bringing out the best in your students.
What gives one person the power to crush another person?
Are we that worthless? Are we that disposable?
Do I deserve to be miserable because I am not “intelligent”?
I hate whoever created the fucking system. The management. Whatever you call it. I would be so much better off living like the animals. Free.
I just wanna be free.
I do not want to study something I hate.
I do not want to spend years […]

the word “WORTHLESS” that i carved into my left leg hurts so bad.. the scar is gone… but the pain is still there… for some reason i dont scar…. i wish i did so i would remember what ive done to say wait this hurt dont do it again…. but no because i dont scar i keep cutting…. and after afiew days the cut is fucking gone….. why? i dont understand… iwish the pain and the burning would stop… it fucking burns like hell today… fuck this.. i need to go back to bed.. wish i could ditch school right now and go home… i […]

i have given up on looking for happiness and love. i dont care if  im alone the rest of my life. i go to school everyday with my ipod fully charged and listening to it all day long. i dont care about anything but my school work and my art. music is the only thing i need. i sit in my school auditorium everyday after getting my food from lunch and take it into the auditorium and sit and eat alone. then i draw. thats it. that all i need is my solitude. friends dont care if im ok anymore. they say they’re tired of […]

Irritated I guess.

My ex has been spreading around that I’m fucking suicidal. which I AM. But it’s not like anybody else ever knew it, or could guess it. It’s just that suicide has bad connotations that I don’t ever want anyone in RL to know.

I don’t remember if I ever told him I was suicidal, but I do remember telling him that I was depressed, and that I’ve cut. So yeah, curse my failing memory. Still though, it’s kind of irritating that fucker had to tell people. And he’s been spreading around that I still love him and shit. Which is damn annoying. Because we […]

Finding everything so hard lately, nothing seems to go right, all my friends seem to be changing, i have my meant to be best guy mate always critasizing me about everything making me feel so worthless and not good enough, and hes meant to like me ! lost one of my closest mates who recently passed away i feel as if everything and anything that could go wrong is
i feel as if i have no one to talk to anymore or have nothing left
i really dont know what to do 🙁

Four months ago I was happier then I’ve been in a long time. My mind was constantly racing and I was always pacing. I was constantly forgetting things. I’ve never been so mentally active, heightened, and aware in my life. A lot of events happaned and my world was flipped upside down, and I don’t feel the same. My mind is numb and fuzzy. I can still feel pain and love its not nearly as stimulating as it used to be if at all. The only co existence that has been convient for me that I haven’t lost interest in is music. Its almost like […]

Life seems unfair at times.   As I lay here in my bed typing this, the very presence of loneliness haunts me.  I can even characterize it as the open air in my bedroom and I just keep breathing it in, feeling even more helpless as every second passes by.  I speak to myself at time just to hear a voice, silence often begins to feel too heavy to bare at times.  When I go out, I feel like loneliness eminates from my being, sort of like a horrible smell.  Nobody likes that, so they stay away from me.  I have been going to a gym […]

I know thats a stupid question but its the only thing going through my mind right now. Its been 43 days since the last time. as hard as its been ive resisted the urge but today and right now i so badly need it. I need away to breath again. I cant take this anymore. I really dont know what else to do