I have had the same boyfriend for 3 years now and he is the most disrespectful piece of shit ever he calls me a whore and a ***** all the time and even hits me he fights with me about everything i cant even take naps without him yelling at me ..i got into a car accident the other day and was injured every badly and he told me i deserved it .i cant even tell you why im still with him its like i cant leave him bc i have no one else i have lost almost all of my friends bc of him […]
Hello world..
i was wondering…
I have a friend. We’ve been going through hell 21 years together. She’s even more than my sister. When i was homeless – she opened doors for me, when i was in my families funerals – she quit her jobs and was 24 h with me, when i was hungry – she feeded me, when i was lonely – she always came.
We have met today. after 4 months beeing apart (she was working in foreign) i expected much more. All this time i had really big problems in my life and all this time i was waiting for her, finally to […]
I know it’s hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don’t want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you’re human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand. Please, don’t cry now
Please don’t go, I want you to stay
I’m begging you please, please don’t leave here
I don’t want you to hate;
For all the hurt that you feel,
The world is just illusion, trying to change […]
Everyday, every single fucking hour, I wonder why im keeping myself alive. Any minute now, I may let myself go.
I don’t get it. I’m a good student, I’m popular, everybody in my school knows me as a really nice guy who gets along with everybody. I’m not like most people on this website who have nothing going for them.
But I don’t care. Better yet, I care too much. I wish, hope for, pray for the abillity to not care. Everyday is a rollercoaster of extreme highs and the deepest of […]
What the Eyes may see, i do not know?
The cold, The steel, The razor, The blade, The tigher the noose the faster we fade.
So i haven’t posted on here in a while and I’ve been having a hard time with this one girl for many years and we’ve been at a point to where we were both in love with eachother.. She’s also been going through a hard time but it’s just messed up cause I was there for her and I always was gonna be there for her, I thought she was gonna be there for me too.. Three weeks ago… She told me she couldn’t talk to me anymore and that she didn’t love me or anything anymore.. I straight up told her everything, everything that […]
And, beyond deciding the method I STILL haven’t lifted a finger to make it happen. If I don’t decide things by halfway through November I’ll have no choice but to wait it out till January, pointlessly losing money and reducing my mobility, having to spend another Christmas alone even worse than last year’s. Damn brutish beastly atavistic body, witless blind hoping for a miracle that will never come. I can see very clearly how it will all play out, sometime no farther than 3 days before a theoretical departure date I’ll buy the ticket to somewhere weeping all the way through endless sleepless nights. […]
I will remain anonymous,
My first thoughts of suicide began in school at the age of 6, 7 or 8 years old ( I was in the 2nd and 3rd Grade)
Other kids made fun of me for being fat and different. I cried at school and came home nearly everyday for the first 4yrs of elementary school crying and asking why me? I did not understand why people felt that way towards me, and could not conjure why they would to any other person. My own perception of reality was traumatized, but yet at the same time, I gained the understanding of it. I first started […]
i don’t really know what to say except that i want to try to help you. you’ve ended up here because you’re seeking a solution to a problem. but what kind of a solution is suicide? and wouldn’t you rather find a solution than commit suicide?
would anyone who thinks it might possibly help, please send me an email? i really think that i can help you find new life if you contact me, so that i can try to encourage you. i will hear you out on every reason you have to be suicidal or to die, but my main intention is to encourage you […]
Just stand there and watch me as I fall into despair and nihilism. It’s good to know that you don’t care enough to catch me…it’s good to know that you don’t care enough to help me.
So, despite the body having all these little neat tricks preventing you from dying suicide is supposedly the most easy thing in the world. Yeah, well I’m not only stupid but I’m poor as well. Need a gun? Too bad can’t buy it. Nembutual? Nope! Meds so I can not feel suicidal? Again nope!
Its not easy drowning in a bathtub nor is it easy to hang yourself when the ceiling fan collapses on its own with no weight.
To make things even better, there is no way for me to gain meaningful employment. Not only is the economy bad, but I lack even the basic funds […]
Existence. Non-existence. Two mutually exclusive states that we all wrestle with or have a dim awareness of. What does it mean for consciousness to be nothing? What does it mean for consciousness to be “something”? It’s questions like these that I’ve struggled with. I’ve never felt like I’ve possessed a “self” or consequently, value. I’ve always felt I’m just a collection of vaguely associated thoughts, beliefs, emotions, neuroses, and psychological tendencies. Because of this, I’ve had trouble developing self-confidence, which I’m told is COMPLETELY NECESSARY for any kind of success, professionally or in relationships. This is what scares me. The root of all my problems, […]
You didnt win
cause you are suffering from guilt.
I didnt win
cause i had kill myself.
Soceity is the coruption of what
men and women are living in.
I live in my own imagination.
I live in my own world where
there is me and people close to me.
Nyuu family that cant erupt
and destory my own society.
Then it disappear.
I live in a world where Society
is stabbing me repeatly.
That i go to school
where people stare you down
insult you
and mock what you created.
Very soon…
i will fall underground in society.
Where i guess hell
will be […]
I just got back from the hardware store, picked up something crucial to get this done.
I got back and the roomate wants an extra roomie to help pay the rent, I am against any more in the house, yet I said ok because it isn’t going to make any difference to me, I won’t be here to much longer.
I’ve choosen to use an inert gas, the exit bag thing is just to awfull, I just can’t or will not pull a bag over my head. I figured another way to deliver the stuff. At least I won’t be found with a bag over my head.
It’s […]
i tried to stay away.
i tried not to come here.
theres no where else i can vent.
theres no one else i can talk to.
theres nobody to trust.
i never knew there could be this much hate.
i never knew i could hate people or a place so much.
that anywhere could make you hate yourself this much or feel this bad.
i never knew i had so many tears in my eyes. that so many tears could drop.
i wish i had never come into this world.
they took everything i had and made it worse
no thing, is better because of them.
and all i hope; is that when i leave this place, […]
I will be going now! Here in Finland giving advice in suicide is not against the law. Assisting suicide is not against the law. Even planning a murder(this will change in 2012)is STILL not against the law!
But i cannot take anymore changes! The Police could still take me to a mental evaluation and confiscate my hardrive never the less. I just cant take any risks!
I wrote on that Finish website(Suomi24) ON PURPOSE and revealed my IP-adress. I did it because…because of what i just said;
“Here in Finland giving advice in suicide is not against the law. Assisting suicide is not against the law. Even planning […]
Being a ‘goth’ is never easy. 18 and hated by the neighbours,. perhaps its not a fashion statement, its a deathwish? everywhere i go, dirty looks the shouting, and why is this? whats so ‘wrong’ about me? its just the way i dress. im sure they’d complain more if i was naked? well who knows. i live in constant fear that someone is always near. breathing down my spine ready to strike. of course this is all exagerated but its still what i sometimes think. living next to the local school in which i had the misfortune of spending 5 years there, and […]
I hate how I’m forced to go to religion school every Saturday. I’ve been an atheist for years, but my mom and siblings threw me in this school so I can ” become a true Christian”.
The only reason I stopped believing in God, was because I was ignored.
I used to pray and pray for help; help to stop cutting, help for my mom, help to become a normal functioning human being, not the piece of shit I am today.
But no, no matter how much I prayed, cried, begged: nothing. Everything got worse.
Maybe I was doing it wrong. I don’t know.
Every time I go to church […]
I don’t want to offend or judge people.
Suicide is the most selfish act you can inflict on friends and family!
Maybe u guys are thinking “My parents don’t love me.” well sometimes u guys think your parents don’t love u just because they make u clean your room or they won’t let u go to partys etc. THATS NOTHING! They only do it for your own good so u won’t get pregenant. If they abuse u or if they seem to yell at u for no reason then thats a different thing. Be smart, if they abuse or hurt u talk to a teacher or call […]
I am leaving this website. I have been reported to the local police as a result of my suicide guides. I cannot return here for a long, LONG time in case the police confiscate my hardrive. I will format it tommorow!
Please email me to JonesHenry@hotmail.fi if you want the complete English guide for peacefull death. All emails will be deleted on arrival. Sorry but i have to go now!