I’m 52 and running out of reasons to keep going. Right now the only one I have is my cat. Once she is gone I will follow not far behind.
From what I have read the helium hood method seems to be the best. It seems like the most fool proof.
Is this the easy way out? Yes. But I don’t see the point of putting myself through more pain. I won’t be missed. I proved that to myself. I don’t want to live to the point that I have to have others taking care of me. So while I can I will take control […]
i’m 26, attractive , some people see my life and think i have it all together but on the inside i am crying cuz i feel as if my life has no pint..useless…live alone in a city i moved to from my homeland…no real frenz or family to go out with or do things with …so all i do is work and stay hitched up under my bf..who i found text messages in his phone to other girls…dont want to stay in a relationship just to say i am in one…dont want to nag him with all of my emotional baggage and daddy issues….feel so […]
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I need to tell you that my grandma committed suicide which opened the door to many others in our family following her foot steps.
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Suicide is not a personal choice because suicide opens the door to others in your family to follow you. After my grandmother choose to suicide, my cousin tried three times only to become disabled from it, my husband committed suicide, my brother committed suicide, and then his brother-in-law.
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I have spent years of my life trying to convince my children that they must respect life and not […]
Men know what its like. Losing your job can be devistating.
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Two years ago August, I lost my job. Having two children and a wife to support, it is very difficult to face life everyday. Each day, I begin with looking through the want ads…then callling to see if I can schedule some informational interviews.
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Almost two years of this and nothing. I decided that I needed to return to school to complete my degree, but now I sit in a classroom full children who are young enough to be my children. I wonder if my family […]
Kinda strange when you get to the point where you are REALLY ready to check out.
Everything has been purchased, set up, tested and dry runs made.
You realize this is it and this calmness and peace falls over you.
In that peace, Â you think clearer.
Somewhere in that Peace, Â I found a little ray of light. Â It let me see things a little different.
It’s NEVER about WANTING to die, it’s more like you HAVE to die.
So then I decided to try one more time. Â To pick myself up and go back out and […]
so I feel like my family hates me these days and don’t really want me around. then I have my girl friend that flirts with all other boys and never makes an effort to spend time with me, today I tolled her that ive been getting upset and have been thinking about suicide so she could help me through it. wasn’t a great idea considering I got laughed at by her. I have barely any friends to help me through it aswell, it’s like I’m all alone and no one wants me here so what’s the point of being here then? I just give up. […]
A lifetime of self-loathing… Self Rejection, Low Self Esteem, not knowing how to deal with hurt emotions nobody could understand cause everyone else was as heartless and shallow as I was… one thing my dad wasnt, was a emotionally mature Man… my dad would beat me with jump ropes, fists, bang my head against the wall… verbally, mentally and physically abused… then tell me to stop crying or he would give me something to cry about… i, as most boys, was taught that crying is a sign of weakness… hurt and fear manifests into rage… thats why I cut, thats why I drug, […]
I was going to write a story like so many before me detailing my previous suicide attempt and how I failed at even that but my story isnt worth retelling.
My life has been one of deprivation, whether it was food, clothes or an education I’ve missed out on pretty much all of it. I did get my state funded high school certificate though, yay me. Essentially I’ve reached a point now where im unemployable, I have skills and abilities and an intense drive to succeed in whatever I do yet with these attributes still no one will give me a chance.
Something’s died in me. I feel the end is near. And It’s not too bad that I’m broken but that I’ve nowhere to go. Ever read The Catcher in the Rye? Just like Holden Caulfield, I feel like I am inevitably heading towards some terrible fall. I don’t know where it comes from. I can be all day a normal human being and then it drowns me (not everyday but quite often).  What’s worse is that nobody knows. How can I explain to them that out of nowhere here comes this terrible sorrow. It’s almost like it loves me. For some reason I really wish to be […]
I think I’m waiting to die…I wake up and all i think about is the end of the day.  THE only time I’m happy is when i sleep.  When i think about killing myself…i don’t think about is a WRONG…i think of it a solution.  A solution to the problem of my pathetic life.  Everyone in my life thinks I’m just PERFECT…but I’m not so far…I feel like I’m a BRAND NEW CAR…running on cheap water-downed gas.  So I’m waiting…WAITING for GOD to take me away from here.  I wouldn’t mind if it was painful…SOMETIMES i think i cant feel any EMOTIONS…i feel cold and dark inside…I don’t think i could […]
So why am i depress? Why do i act like this? I hate life. I fucking hate it. I know i didnt expericen a lot about it but i have enough of it. The people i have see everyday. The bullying that always seem to come around. The stress so much stress. Frustration to the problem i have. What could be possibly better than that. One dead best friend. Invisble to others. The concent question” are you okay?” If i already said im fine why do you need to ask more questions. You dont have to deal or put up with me. I never ask […]
To me it seems as though God has chosen certain people to live out their lives in happiness. These people have an abundance of friends, these people are almost always happy, smiling, laughing. There are more of these people in the world than people like us, the depressed ones. The happy people are everywhere. I am not one of these people, i think i could say that none of us on this site are those people but, I dont know anybody here personally, so im not sure. People keep telling me that God has a plan for everyone, and everything happens for a reason. […]
I was hoping so bad, so so bad, that a new girl would show up at school. Â I wanted one to show up so bad, so I wouldn’t be lonely any more. Â But it didn’t happen. Â It Didn’t Happen.
I decided to do a PhD. My result is due in 3 days. I ahve already viva’d and been given major corrections, so this is the final chance for me. The entire process is not like people imagine – you don’t sit in a sunny drawing room with a brandy snifter philosophising about ‘stuff’ and then just get given a doctorate – you work so hard that sometimes it goes on all night. You hate yourself for being too stupid, for not grasping the points, for screwing up again and again. I look in the mirror and I tell myself I am stupid, because I […]
My boyfriend’s ex died yesterday, she was riding a bike and got run over by a drunk driver, she was taken to hospital, and was on a ventalator for 4 hours, but she didn’t make it. She was 19.
I see him hurt, i see him so devastated and ruined. All i want is to take his pain and suffering away, i wish it had happened to me, because i know how to deal with death. When my mother died, so did a part of me. When my sister died, so did another part of me. I never wished that pain on anyone, and now it’s happened.
Im […]
The economy wins . . I can’t find a job and oh how I’ve tried. I keep the reject letters in a shoebox and looking at them every day reminds me of what a loser I am. My teeth are in really bad shape and it’s so dehumanizing at the end of a job interview when I forget not to smile too big the interview notices and pulls their hand away and gasps. I looked into the local dental school and I can’t even afford that. My friends have noticed my withdrawn behavior and bailed on me, so I guess they’re not really friends. […]
Some say that chemtrails could be a reason for depression and behavioural issues, some even say that they are responsible for cancer. Apparently the celebrity Prince often talks about this. I was only told about this today.
I know I’ve not been normal my whole life.
It’s horrible feeling so empty.
I don’t know why I feel this way but I really dislike myself. I end up in a negative cycle, not caring about myself and therefore hurting others through my actions and behaviour.
I’m selfish.
I can’t remember the last time I felt happy, nothing seems to make me happy.
I just don’t have the energy any more there seems to be no point.
I recently hurt 2 men after being in (unhealthy) relationships. I hurt the ones that love me the most including my family.
My family talk about me […]
Is it?
I think I need someone. I really want to kill myself. I think something’s wrong with me. I’m only 17 years old. I draw, paint and write. Those are the only things I do really well in at school, I get almost 100% always for what I write/paint/draw. Those are the only things I love in life. But I’ve been under this phase for months. I thought it was just something that would pass. I don’t know how to get rid of it.
I don’t know how to break out to people I know that I like to cut myself. I like to knife myself. […]
Today I feel like choking out. Do you know why? I started remembering intense feelings for my cousin Yasmine and I need to choke to suppress the thoughts. Maybe I’m looking for love, but it doesn’t help that I’m lonesome, close to insane (or so I think I am), and crazy for my cousin (blood of course it wouldn’t be weird with step cousins)… I am Facebook stalking her, staring at pictures and saving the pics onto my iPhone. At least I’m not thinking sexually or anything anymore… Fuck I hate myself so much. Should just die. Hope choking out will kill me or something. […]