Me and my friend were chatting one day, and he told me he couldn’t find anything for his research paper about greenhouse effect.

I suggested to him a couple of things.

“Shut up”, he answered back.

I knew he was in a joking tone. I laughed a little.

But what happened next remained a mystery to me.

I suddenly said “Fuck you.” and slapped him right in the face.

The teachers around the library had to separate us.

I didn’t even feel the words slip out of my mouth. My hand slapping his cheek. It wasn’t me.

I told him it wasn’t me. He accepted my apology but still didn’t belive in my reason. […]

Began thinking of how much my relationship with my dad changed ever since he started beating me over little things a few months ago. I tried hugging him one morning extending my arms towards him. He got out of the way and walked off. I wanted to hug him goodbye when I left for school. Still teary eyed but not crying yet. Maybe I should try hyperventilating until I have a panic attack. That’s always fun.

Rogue was back one day and went away the next.

I downloaded 10 apps of depression check and 6billionsecrets.com and took the tests and posted crap. Nickname was suicidal16yearold […]

The day i have mix emotions. The day tht has finally came im fucking 16 >x < great just fucking great. Now i am just living in great fear.

He would say, 'How funny it will all seem, all you've gone through, when I'm not here anymore, when you no longer feel my arms around your shoulders, nor my heart beneath you, nor this mouth on your eyes, because I will have to go away someday, far away…' And in that instant I could feel myself with him gone, dizzy with fear, sinking down into the most horrible blackness: into death.” -Arthur Rimbaud

I am sixteen years old. For three years I’ve been rail-roaded with problems. Depression. Self-harm. Bullying. Suicidal thoughts. Everyone tells me “It gets better.” but when I’m lying alone in bed, afraid of everything, I don’t see much hope. Since second grade, I’ve been picked on by everyone from my “best friend” to someone I just met to people I don’t even know. I’ve tried going to school counselors and in all my visits, only once was it not my fault. I got to eighth grade, and I was called a(n) dyke, lesbian, homo, freak, whore, *****, slut, nerd, emo, fag, and many other names. […]

Failure. It hurts to think that even we did the best we can, we still failed with what we tend to aspire. Sometimes, it is just so hopeless to be in the position you are stuck—whether it is about career or relationship. Loneliness and despair just tend to mingle with our fate. I know it sounds so melodramatic, but it seems that no matter how much I tried, my potentials were not even considered. There are days that I just want to end it. Tired of all the disappointments. I wish that all these bad feelings will go away. It is also so hard to […]

Here it is Sunday evening and I’m ready to sleep. The only place I feel at peace. Suffering from a sever case of tinnitus I have to sleep with music playing through earbuds, otherwise I couldn’t get any sleep. Now, this has become a place of peace. Every night after taking Trazodone I lay looking out the window pondering the stars and praying to God to please do not let me wake up the next morning. I don’t know what to do. I’m restless and shying away from any social contact. Even my family has said I’m becoming a recluse. But, I just have no desire to face […]

i havent had a day off. apart from a weekend since we started this year, it wouldn’t usually bother me accept i do so much. everyone else leaves when ever they want for a week ans i pick up the pieces, i just asked my boss if i could have next week off he said he doesnt know how we can manage it but it is clear i need some time.

i dont think he realises that if i dont get a day off im going to go postal!

im sick of being the fallback plan the last resort i want to be the only choice

My mom bought me this legit strips to make my scars go away.

As crazy as it seems..

I don’t want them to go away.

my chosen method is overdose. i wanna thank everyone who’s talked to me, even though you don’ know me, you’ve made me feel happy and not alone. it’s nice to know that there is people who will listen and people who wanna help, sadly i don’ personally know anyone like that anymore. people say ‘it gets better’, but it doesn’t always get better, sometimes it get’s worse. but thanks for the support and comments, it’s beena nice help for me and i wish i could’ve gotten to know a few people better, that would have been nice. ) i hope that other people on here […]

life’s not worth it, sometimes it doesn’t get better :'( thanks for all the support i’ve recieved by random strangers, it made me feel a little happy.. but the happiness doesn’t last. does anyone know the quickest and most painless method of suicide???

The Winds that blow here
Blow straight through
And overwhelm
With anguish
Of pitiless longing

Infinite sadness
Of the universe
A wave that comes
And leaves you
Standing breathless

The Winds that blow here
Saturate the body and the mind
With inhumane feeling of longing
For some long-lost counterpart

The bushes tingle with vagueness
As the shadows merge with darkness
Dancing is the inner fire
Of the spirit of these areas

The Winds that blow here
Bring memories of antiquity
Of people never met
Of hands unseen before

The Winds that blow here
Force the heart long far away
And yet the same force
Makes me wish that I could […]

I’m so lost and confused right now, I don’t know where to go in life, I have no direction, I’m sick of the continuous need for material things. I hate my mind and all the memories that are stuck in my head, all I want to do it die and just be done with life. There isn’t anything to live for…I’m so over it all

Has anyone one here ever set the date and then just never made another blog?

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.

(after a line attributed to William Gibson)

How, when and why are you planning to go?

Personally, i ain’t decided when yet, probably sometime soon though, and i’ma go for ligature asphyxiation, and as for why, well, it’s a long story and i cba typing it again, i’ve already written a few life story posts

I feel lonely… But I don’t do shit about it. I want to ask Janel out, but it’s really hard to do. Well then. I’m here to hopefully soothe my want to be with a cute girl. What’s up with this urge to be with one. It’s not a sexual desire. I don’t know. I prefer dying than to suffer. Well then I guess teenage drama and I guess nO reason to die over a loveless teen life but that just adds to the weight of shit. I guess I’m just looking for a good reason to keep going. I am the type to ***** […]

I have felt the ultimate sadness, i have cried so hard and for so long until finally i felt nothing!.

It was like a switch went off inside of me and i no longer cared, this happened in the blink of an eye.

I am empty, nor sadness nor happiness could be stirred i feel nothing.

I dont think about killing myself because i am already dead inside. I am not afraid to die nor am i scared of evil in the dark or the rapist around the corner.

My best friend is a murderer he murdered my best friend!

I asked for help and was turned away by my […]

This world is horrible. There is a reason that when people die, the poeple who try to comfort others say “They’re in a better place.” A BETTER place!!! That just proves that death is far better than life, well at least for me it would be. Some people just piss me off so much, I dont know whether to kill them or myself. This world. What the hell is this place?! Some sort of torture chamber that we must stay in for years until we die.

Happiness is just a memory. It exists no longer in my life. I see other people who somehow obtained this […]