I have all I need,a razorblade,my wirst,or some tyneol.I’m only waiting……hoping to find a reason to live,but for now i have none so now I think maybe my last day here…..so good bye,so long and good luck.
I have never been able to work out why I cannot find happiness.Â I come from a very wealthy family in NY, and yes I could easily be reffered to as spoilt but no matter what I get given and no matter where I go I am always severly depressed. There is no doubt that I am unlucky…my father had an affair which led to the end of my parents marriage and I havent seen him for two years now. I have never really been deeply affected by the exit my father made as I was always a ‘mummys girl’ its just when I come […]
When I tried to kill myself, I took pills. I took 60 some Tylenol. I ended up in the psych ward of St. Luke’s Hospital, feeling like such and idiot. I consider killing myself almost daily. I try to tell myself that I don’t want to die, but more often than not I do. Your family loves you, I know mine does but my mind won’t stop pushing me. I am getting to a stage where I have to sink or swim to be considered a man. I am failing and do not want to disappoint my dad.
Alexander R. K.
I am 39, almost 40. Married for 9 years to a wonderful man who was not my soulmate and we tore each other apart eventually.. verbally, emotionally. Grew up longing for nothing more than the perfect family, had it and threw it away. Let my daughter choose where to live and since I didn’t have a better more stable place (I jumped into an emotionally damaging and financially straining relationship before my marriage was even over), she now lives with her daddy. My own immediate family will always think of me as the black sheep; they are very conservative and religious; […]
Iâ€™ve recently been discharged from the military, i had a good job that i loved, i got paid a good amount and plus people, (generally) respected my sacrifices for the country and line of work. Until recently, i have been charged with sexual misconduct with a minor. Now before you start judging. The girl was 17, three weeks from her 18th birthday, and she came over to my place and it was all consensual. We had a couple drinks, and fooled around. Now I know what happened was wrong, and what I did (being the adult) was against the law. Iâ€™ve never been in trouble […]
Ill make it short and to the point. I’ve had AIDs for 20 years. Most that time i have been fine, but the last 5 years have caught up with me. My husband of 15 years died of cancer with aids complications. My health has improved since starting the fowl, shitty feeling drugs they give you to prolong your life. Â I have been so darned alone since my husband died. Ive tried dating, but i have to date someone that is also sick, and most those people i know, are worse off than i am, and have no hope for the future. I started seeing […]
I am fourteen right now, my birthday was pretty recently. I have been cutting myself for some time now. I do not know the exact date or year. I sometimes feel as if I am a sick person. I do not think I cut myself out of depression, it’s more of a way to relax and calm down. I talk to my friend, whom I am really close with, she assumes I have a blood fetish. I am sick. I cut myself. I drink my own blood. I do not think that I would kill myself because I do not have that kind of courage. […]
Suicide as the conclusion of a mind that functions ‘normally’.
Two months ago, I got a refund check for my student loans. I said that as soon as the money was gone, I would be too. I’ve drank over a thousand dollars worth of alcohol, and it wasn’t the expensive stuff.
I’m down to my last fifteen dollars. I’m on my way to the store now to buy the stuff to kill myself with.
I’ve said that I’m going to do it before on here, but my racing heart, the logic telling me that dying is right, the gutter I purposely through my life into all says that it’s time.
For two months, I’ve slept with countless guys […]
Iâ€™m on various antidepressants. And these pills take away my humanity.
On one hand, this is great. No more sadness, no more anger, no more self-loathing and no more suicidal thoughts.
On the other hand, no more happiness. No more joy. No more excitement or pride or energy or passion. I simply don’t care about anything anymore.
I want to make movies when I grow up (I use the phrase “grow up” lightly, since I’m already 20), but now I simply can’t find the drive to push my dreams further. I’m sitting on my ass, my mind completely empty, watching my life fly by at the speed […]
The structure behind my previous post, and consequential days- all with the rhetoric of monotonous feeling.
I made a list of reasons for killing myself and reasons against. I have about 30 for and 1 against, and the 1 against is pretty inconsequential. If this is a cry for anything, it’s a cry for someone to understand me. It’s like I’m the only outcast in the world, and I have this energy about me that repels others. I’ve been drinking a lot lately, and when I go, it will be because the pain inside of me has gotten so horrible that I’d have to convince myself not to kill myself, not the other way around. I’m […]
i dont know what to do or how to say this. i want to die. i want to just fade away. no one wouldÂ care anyways. i want to just fall asleep and NEVER wake up..i wish i had the guts to do it. they say if you cant do it, or if your too scared to kill yourself, you dont really want to die?..well iÂ think i wantÂ to die..but who knows, maybe i dont.. maybe i just want this pain to go away. but i dont know how to do that. i’ve been trying so hard lately. it makes me feel like, this pain will never […]
have been given another chance but all i keep doing is disappoint my parents now my mum will never forgive me for this. i have done drugs, alcohol and almost everything but still my mum was there, she made sure that i smiled through the darkest shadows of my life. but she never really got a chance to know what i was going through. i laughed to the burst of the loudest of my voice and with thatÂ everyone always thought i was fine and going throughÂ a good path. i have this pain and anger within, what better killing myself than having being shouted […]
does it ever go away?
the chronic depression, the anxiety?
the suicidal thoughts every minute of the day?
the want to just pop a vein?
the need to just leave and never come back?
let me know yeah.
I was raped 30 plus years ago by a boyfriend I trusted. He told me he loved me. He was my first. He then put my head up against a wall and told me if I didn’t have sex with him he would put my head through the wall. I’ll never forget the pain or the humiliation. My choice was taken away. He tried to strangle me. He slapped me. He used me. This pain will never go away. My heart will never mend. Although he’s out of my life, I will never be the same. My […]
I lost my father 2 years ago…my mother attempted suicide last year on the day before mother’s day and i was the one to find her and call the ambulance..and lift her outside. A month later she was all better and told me she doesnt want to be around me anymore and I have been living by myself ever since.Im onli 17 and I havent heard from her in over 6 months and My girlfriend who there for me thru it all and helped me jus broke up with me cus she doesnt want to be in a relationship rite now anymore…I don’t see the […]
I’m sick of life.
I’m sick of it all.
I’m sick of the lies,bitches,and crappy friends.
I’m sick of hearing rumors becouse someone was bored,
Sick of my mom yelling at me for not doing my chores.
She can’t see let alone feel what I do.
She wouldn’t belivie me or have time to get me help.
I know she busy taking care of me,but
I want her notice,
I want her to see.
Instead of writing off the scars on my arm as being a klutz,
The missing bottle of tyneol as for a ‘headache’,
Or the nearly empty bottle of wine as ‘she […]
there’s so much hate in my heart. and unlike fantasy movies where I can turn into a powerful villain aimed to destroy the world, I can’t do anything else but suffer it.
I’m having overwhelming urges to OD tonight. I have the sleeping pills. I cleaned up my room. I’m shaking and my heart is racing, even after taking 2 klonopins. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I feel this need to do it. Now. I need help. I’m not sure what I should do. I don’t want to be locked up again. I don’t think I want to die. I don’t know what I want. Maybe just to sleep. For a long time.