In July 2009, my mum heard the words no mother ever wants to hear “Your daughter is in ICU. She’s not expected to live.” Almost 2 years later, I am still alive, but my mum is not. Talk about irony. I had landed in ICU (for the second time in 18 months) after taking an overdose of my anti-psychotic medication, Seroquel. I remained in ICU on life support for 48 hours, and then spent a further 2 days in hospital under close observation and on IV anti-biotics after contracting pneumonia from the breathing tube.
I had my reasons for wanting to end my life, but […]
Scratch that. Junior high school. Don’t post every pretty little poem that comes into your head. If you’re scratching your head and saying what’s he talking about, well … I’m probably talking about you. It’s getting really boring for people who aren’t still in the tenth grade. Yeah I know high school is tough, it’s tough for everyone. But this used to be a site for people who were suicidally depressed, not just going through teenage angst. Try Weekly Reader or Facebook. Guess I need to find a new site.
In the cold nights of September
I hear the weeping little girl
Spending these nights imprisoned
at four corners made of stone
where blood shed over the walls
here and there, sorrow calls
one could never do anything
only to diminish her pain
How she wished that her life would end
than to live in sorrow and pretend
living a life she could never bare
where there’s her alone, no one cares
She blinked her eyes on me
expressing the catastrophe
feeling ashamed and neglected
here in the world that has ended
Then suddenly I felt something
inside my heart that kept stinging
and gradually, […]
It is dark and cold outside
As well as my room that’s filled with fright
As if my stay there was nonsense
Nothing is heard but silence
At a corner of my room
stays a heart that’s doomed
Mind distorted and blown
here I’am, alone.
This scene reminds me of pain
all the burden that I gained
Like I was burried underneath
the earth where all these pain live
Sorrow and hatred in one bed
Where I lie and tears shed
Sadness crawled unto my bones
loud and clear, I’am alone.
I want to hear her screams
i want to hear her cry
but tomorrow i want to see her smile.
Im not asking for much
nor am i begging on my knees
I dont want to kill her
only hear what she is hiding.
Not only am i trying to help
im also mentally scaring herself.
I know i mess up
but i cant help it.
The water that flows from out her eyes
the high pitch that seems to shout
from her voice box.
And when the next day comes
she just smiles
smiles like nothing ever happen.
It makes me laugh
it makes […]
I read of a samaritan, so strange that he even went to a strip-club to help the horny dancing-girls and what he had in heart was just his pure love.
(And I’ll post his link at the end.)
There are things in the world which reasons just automatically derived, if perspectives are viewed with only a blunt understanding.
Everyone knows that the sea pirates of the Somalians are notorious not only in their coastal areas, but also in open waters far away from their home, and stretching far as to so many countries. And they are making big money too on ships that cross their paths.
Here […]
So I am a christen and stuff But I am also a cutter and I really wanna cut right now I am at a church thing will anyone help out here Help me cut or not to cut No one knows me so u don’t have to care about me.
plz help me any one in online
I crave to end all of my pain…suffering and all of these haunting memories…why have I not even heard from him since quite early Monday morning? I worry about him.he is the last thing/ which I truly love.. without him the person I have become is nothing but a nuisance to my family. I do not wish to become a burden…I just want to disappear forever…and make sure that HE is safe and happy…
I posted a few months ago on how bad my anxiety and paranoia is.. Oh and all my health issues too. I still barely get out the house and i still barely talk to people like my friends. I’ll never be able to get a job like this and i’ll have to get on disability government checks which i dont wanna do cuz i’ll feel like a straight up bum not that i dont already feel like one.. And all my friends will proly think im a bum too.. Who knows what kind of rumors have been goin around about me givin the fact that i’ve […]
Ever feel like your worthless? not accepted?ugly? fat? feel like nobody likes you? well thats exactly how i feel. My family isn’t perfect or even close to it. My dad hates me and told me to kill myself, and sometimes i want to. Like why shouldn’t I? My parents are separating this summer but still seeing him everyday makes me so upset. I have two older sisters and he treats them fine,but towards me im shit. I have some friends at my school but more at other schools. im only 15 years old and i have considered suicide. Usually my mom tells me to put […]
I want to die as I hate my life all so hate living I all so have
learning and spelling disability All have the rest off my life naiver
can sleep all so I Have depression I have lived 48 years off this hall
so the only way out is to take my life I want to die so so so bed I
naiver stop thanking about wanting to die I hoping I can do it soon I
want to die badly I don’t want to go on living any longer but I want
to die vary soon hope I can find a good way […]
shit 2 more hours, im so nervous
As I always say, I’m just this simple girl, a college student. I came here after this site caught my attention. I could relate so much the stories I’ve read..like this place is somewhere I belong and the people in here are those that I could get along with. Those feelings, grief and confusion that are evident on those entries, I know..
Since I’m just a new member, It’ll be good to start with describing who I’am. I’m 18, and lives in the Philippines. In those years of my existence, I felt so much pain, fear and hatred. I’ve been attached to those unwanted memories […]
even i think im whining. my car is standing on the street since last autumn. when i got robbed in march i decided to move, so i packed everything and tried to start the car. its not working, of course, you cant leave a car for six month and not service it regularly. so, here we are. two months have passed and that crap is still parking somewhere at the other side of the city. i should call a repairman but im so afraid of it. whenever i took it to a garage they charged big bucks, no matter what the problem was. i started […]
What if when I die I immediately realise that I was wrong “they” were right and now I am stuck with my decision. I’ve made some bad decsion in my life that this seems so plausibly real. I mean I don’t care what happens when I die because I don’t enjoy being here right now but what if……?
Part of me knows there is nothing but part of me is what if? Life is all about choice, I dont want to be wrong again
“if there was no desire to heal, no embrace to see me through this tedious path I’ve choosen here, I certainly would’ve walked […]
My every thought is empty, I have no love left in me, I am nothing more than a useless waste of space, on here and in life. I’m a worthless friend, I can’t help anyone, I always drive away people who love me, and Im just tired of being me. Why can’t I just be someone else, why do I cry myself to sleep everynight, why do I rarely talk to people, why have I become like this, so fucking stupid, did I honestly think I could be fucking happy. I can’t feel anymore joy, in anything whatsoever, people if you want to my […]
Before I started taking lortab, my life was a wreck. I was full of so much hate, anger and depression. My life consisted of laying on the couch all day. In my defense, I do have back and hip problems, but the area that I live in has a problem with prescription drug abuse so those that need it don’t get it. I take three 10’s a day, at least 6 hours apart and some days I take less. I take them by mouth. After I started taking them, my pain was under control and I was able to do the things I […]
I think I’m finally letting go!I’m sick of everyone & everything I need friend a true friend a best friend I found 1 I looked deeper within myself within you and everything you do actions&words I fear you i fear me I fear the rope hanging from that tree the tree of life the tree of death I am numb so I cut you are happy so you dance I bleed so I know I’m real you smile cause you have love I want to be programed to be happy loved excited I want your system I want your smile If i get up and […]
no matter what evryday my mind is clouded. no matter what i do depression is always with me. i try to act happy but then again it is acting. i feel so weak. i find it hard to have faith in things anymore. no faith in people life n love n most of all in my self. i am my own worst enemy. i cant tell if things are simple or complicated. im desperate for change. i have questions that will never be answered n help i will not recieve.