I haven’t posted for a while… today though I just need someone to listen. I was going to tell my housemates, but then thought they’d just think I was an attention seeker, which I’m not even sure is that far from the truth. Hence, this post. You don’t have to read it because it’s probably very silly. I just have to write it.

I went to University today and submitted my assignment. I then had an hour and a half’s wait until my three hour seminar. Usually I’d stay and maybe get some lunch or something, or go and sit in the library. But today I […]

I guess it all started back in 2004 when I was overlooked for a promotion which was then given to another employee who had been there half as long as I had.  She did not have more experience or education than I did; she simply got paid from the “right” fund and I got paid from the “wrong” fund.  I found out in a staff meeting in front of many of my coworkers that the promotion went to the other employee and then had to sit through a presentation with my coworkers of how I got screwed and she got the promotion.  I was humiliated, hurt, […]

I’m from Germany and my age is 20. Last year my mom threw me out of home, having the cops arrest me and tried to put me into mental hospital after I had declared that I was going to end my life due to her cancelling the flat we lived in and force me to get work but I was smart enough so I got out after 24 hours. My dad picked me up and let me live at his home since. My mom decided she wasn’t going to let me in again.

Imagine your room, your beloved home, you lose it all in a day […]

melatonin isnt effective at all. i took 20 hoping it would put me in a coma or kill me, but of course it didnt. i was pissed off.

I woke up, got dressed, took my dad’s car to school (cuz my car had a huge layer of ice all over and it wouldnt melt in time) and went to class.

when i got there, i just wanted to cry. it was so hard not to.

because i realized that i really dont want to study radiology. probably not even health care at all.

I’m bombing my biomedical terminology class, i can never focus on my homework, and i never learned to study (never really had to in high school.) this is a 4-credit-hour class (honors level) that is required for anybody who is going to work […]

I wish that I didn’t have hands and arms, so I wouldn’t pretend that they were yours when I hold myself for comfort.
I have no need for hands or arms , because I will never be able to hold you in mine.

I wish that I didn’t have feet or legs, so that I wouldn’t long to walk beside you for all of my days.
A path where that is possible doesn’t exist. Instead I shall walk alone forever and grow tired and weary with no use for these limbs of mine without you.

I wish that I didn’t have a spine, so that I wouldn’t […]

I have a question… How do I get through these days at school right now knowing that in the back of my mind i want to end it and am planning to this Friday? How do I face being in class in a a hour listening to other people talk about their weekend while my weekend i looked for ways to end it.

How do I talk to colleagues (not close friends just people I say hi and bye to really) in the real world knowing that Im planning to end my life.

What are your guys thoughts on this ?
Please respond quickly I’d […]

In 2000 my precious mom was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly after. I had just turned 11 at the time. Am now 21. Actually, it was 1 week precisely after my 11th birthday that mom died at the hospital. I didn’t know how to live without the woman that raised me. Dad was still around, but he was out working most of the time providing his family with money so I mostly spent time with mom. Dad is very harsh. He’s the kind of man that doesn’t really like being around people unless he has to. And in his ideal world you can only […]

I’m 15 years old and i’m from sweden..

I have a real bad life.. cause when i was 12 years i lost my Beloved mother, She was a real angel..i loved her so much and she took care of me and showed me attention..
And after all this time i’ve got all that shit back cause i’ve lost my friend.. Who hanged him self
And i meet 3 people wich i got really close to.. And i don’t have a fucking idea why but i lied pretty much for them, i just wanted the attention and i was in a relationship with one of them..
And […]

I know you might think it strange, but…

A few months ago, last year, I had spent nearly an entire day and night desperately searching for a free psychic reading on the internet.  I just felt so lost and so hopeless and wanted a little insight.   I didn’t necessarily want my future told; I just wish I knew more about me … a little idea of what to do.

Sometimes (rarely), it feels like I can understand everyone and everything.  But most times, especially now, I feel so confused.  I wish that things would just get better!   But they don’t.  In fact, they get worse and worse.  […]

I want to be left alone. A lot of times, death just seems (hopefully) to be the only thing on my mind. I have stuck around, with the feeble promises that “it will get better”, only to find that it doesn’t. Quite frankly, I am tired of sticking around proving everyone wrong.

I am 32, going on 33. For the longest time, I have contemplated suicide, at least since I was 10. A former military dependent, I was constantly on the move. I never developed a continued group of friends. I was the constant victim of bullying during middle and high school, even assaults. Half-amusingly, […]

I just want to die can someone please tell me how to… I don’t know how I’m going to wake up tomorrow and face the thousands of people at my university in my current state of deep sadness. I have no future and no reason to live how do I end it once and for all. I know this is an answer everyone on here is searching but what reasonable painless ways are their.

Please respond quickly I have no hope left at all.

My demise… I wish there was something I could do to be remembered, but I am just lost. I wasted so much precious time playing video games, going to school, all that crap. That doesn’t mean I’m already past all that. I’m still wasting time. Wish I could go down with a bang, but I won’t, unless I suicide with a pistol of some sort. Hopefully a Colt… Or maybe a Revolver, just so my neighbor will remember how his favorite gun killed someone he knows. Ha, anyways I want to live and die fighting. I want to lead an army of outcasts(or some army) […]

I used to be such a good christian. I really did think of God as my bestfriend.
I decided I was going to do what I want and still be a good strong christian, if that makes any since at all.
But now, it’s like I don’t want anything to do with God.
I just keep telling myself he’s not real, but when I know deep down he is.
I know I’ve betrayed him in so many ways, so it’s not that easy just to start being a strong christian again.
And really, I don’t want too.
I want to smoke, I want to drink, […]

🙁 1 year ago my uncle sexually abused me and no one believes me their all like oh your lying stop making up lies to get more attention even my mom and dad say that I’m lying and I have no one to talk to cause my friends that I always talked to about my problems died in a car accident when they went out drinking so now all i do is drink to try to get the pain away but it doesn’t work cause all I do when I’m drunk is think about it then wanting to kill myself I tried that about three […]

I always have to smile. Even though I have to live with the piece of shit I am forced to call my father. He used sexually and phsyically abuse me, yet I have to respect him. My mom thinks that I’m making all of this up. All of my closest friends are dead due to drugs or violence. The world is filled with so much blind, ignorant hate. I get preached by the church to be accepting while they damn me for being bisexual. I spend time studying and getting good grades, but for what? Everything is pointless..

I can’t live like this.  Everyday i am always pretending to be someone i am not.  A smart person, a kid that a sophmore can ask quietly how to do the homework, someone to take remarks with a smirk on my face.  I’m not.  Instead i’m really a fucked up idiot that can’t do shit without fucking it up.  A  depresssed teenager that can’t even do something simple as ending it on a weekend when the house is to myself for hours.  What my parents never know (or care for) is that for every injustice and unfair insult they inflict upon me is one step closer for me to […]

No offense to people who still believe in it… but anyone besides me think that’s bull?

I’ve honestly been a hardcore advocate of true love and the strong ties between friends. Through many years, I realize this is bull. There is no such thing as true love and true friendship. They’ll all backstab you once they’re done with you. I can honestly say that I’ve always truly gave my love to someone before and did everything a good friend should and always been there for both but have never truly felt anyone do the same for me. Not once. I mean I’ve felt it like maybe during the small […]

i haven’t posted in a while, but for all of those who like poetry… at all, expecialy the depressing kind. check out this website:
http://thebloodangel.weebly.com

i forgot to give you guys my email this morning/last night. if you ever want to talk my email is doctorwho2322@aim.com i don’t check it that often so dont get worried if i don’t email you back for a couple of days.