I finally left my abusive boyfriend after 6 years, I lost my family and friends because of him and he destroyed my life in every possible way. I have no confidence, I can’t work, I can’t pay my rent, I’m ugly and useless and he found where I am living which I’m devastated about, I told the police and they told me to call them if ever he came here. Well he did, he smashed up my flat and punched me in my head repeatedly telling me to die over and over. I called the police and they haven’t even arrested him, I kept asking […]

way i want to end my life i have lived all my life with learning and spelling disability all have for the rast of my life been suffering from depression im on a diabily pencehn all its had for be to do things like makeing my meals keeping my self clen any many more things been like this all my life and i am so tired of going on like this so my only way out of it is to end my life I have been whating to end my life for over 10 years and fell its time to and it all all be […]

I am 20 years old and am severely bulimic. it began as early as 9 years old and as a result i have had my entire life to date thrown away on the disorder- it has dominated everything and every failed attempt to control it has made me feel worse. At five foot 6 my weight this last year has gone from 7 and a half stone to now 9 and a half stone and i am struggling to get rid of any of it and instead am getting fatter and fatter. i don’t want to see anybody and it has got to the point […]

although I admire that you read that somewhere and it left some kind of impression on you, do you think you could either try to be a bit more personal to the author of the post you are replying to, or just go and read some more and come back on here when you’ve learned some, cause you quite clearly don’t have a natural knack at ‘advising’.

Thanks!

www.facebook.com/TheyCallMeManhattan Please feel free to add me if you find refuge in any of my writing or you’d like to talk to a critical thinker. Today went pretty badly, as I was overly concerned with my physique yet again. I have a condition called Muscle Dysmorphia; a specific term from a broader term known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Muscle Dysmorphia (MD) is commonly referred to as Bigorexia because as the name implies, it is an obsession with the physique, only with the opposite desires of an anorexic. I wish to be bigger and weigh more. I cannot stress enough how much this means to […]

I have posted a response to your post but it is waiting in moderation (there is also a response from Steve-c) I don’t know if you know this as I have seen that you have become agitated by this moderation thing, but you can go into ‘comment’ on the dashboard and approve them yourself so that they appear on your post or you can just read them there. I have no idea why sometimes they are held up in pending, or who puts them there when other replies seem to go straight through. Most peculiar system.

Mary x

I swear I fuckin’ hate this whole “awaiting moderation” thing, I’ve typed such a long reply to you & your excellent post, steve_c, but then it comes again this “awaiting moderation” thing. Luckily I have copied what I’ve wrote, and I’ll paste/write it again here:

thank you everybody for your posts, and also kyle, for your caring of me (english is also not my first language, so I really appreciate you’re taking some time to write out & translate your thoughts into english. it’s not easy).
Believe me that I very much appreciate it. and thank you very much Steve, for actually braving yourself to […]

I’m not really sure how to express this, so bare with me. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone anymore about any of what i’m feeling. I feel that i’ve worn out that welcome because of years of depression, suicidal thoughts, self injury, counseling, and hospitalization. Sad part is i’m only 16, well, 17 in 3 days. I honestly feel that once i’m gone it won’t be much of a fuss. Ya know that line from Adams song? “Another six months, i’ll be unknown.” That’s how I feel. If you really knew me you’d know that I find it absolutly impossible to believe that […]

Hi, my name is Steve, I came on here last night and I’ve been reading through many posts on here, a lot of which are yours. Hope you don’t mind me speaking with your directly?

I noticed that very recently you have joined a post of a woman who is talking about spirituality (which seems to be your speciality) and I can’t help but say to you that your responses are depressing and just confirm what that lady is saying even more, I’m sure she sees that and knows it to be pointless in responding to you, although I hope she does.

Not just this post, but […]

I feel helpless when I read posts on this website, I wish there was something I could say or do to change your mind when it comes to making the ultimate decision to kill yourself. I was introduced to this site when my sister wrote her suicidal story on here. It broke my heart to read how she didn’t want to live, even with a loving family, a career and amazing friends. I feel the same as I read other stories that you guys post. I feel the reason that many of you post on this site is because you have no one to confide […]

How do I cancel my membership to this site?

It’smy son’s 17th birthday today. For his sake, for his birthday, I dragged myself out of bed to talk to him before he went to school. We were talking and laughing even though I was screaming inside with pain. He is such a handsome and wonderful young man, and the thought of leaving him without a mum is unbearable. At the same time, the thought of living on is equally unbearable. Nothing but pain. Who else is out there who lives _only_ in order to spare his/her loved ones the pain. My plan is still to kill myself in a few days, and today […]

I get this stupid question all the frecken time. I’ve tried to kill myself more than ten times and people always ask this, “Why die so young?” “You’ve barley lived a day much less a life to end?” And so many more pointless questions. I first tried when I was thirteen to kill myself, I cut my arms so deep and in so many places that they had to do a blood transfusion. I was in treatment for ten months and now I am out but I still want to die. How easy it was to lie my way out of the stupid system. There’s […]

please please please please give me the strength to end it. I am stopped by this fear of what will happen when I’m dying, will I suffer, will I see a devil and all that bullcrap that this sick and twisted world has fed me all my life. Please God I’m begging you to give me the strength to do this tonight, I cannot bear the weight of another day. I am praying through the internet in the hope that it reaches you and I draw some strength. I’m on my knees in horrific pain and torment, begging to be released from this hell. Please […]

Every time I come to see a new post about someone sharing his/her pain in life, my heart can’t help but feeling much pain too (even if I never know that person in real life). And there are so much, so many people that seems to believe that DEATH is ultimately the ‘Answer’, that of what would be the true resting place, the true door, or even the true world/dimension of ultimate pureness to live, unlike this “damn corrupt & sickening” earthly life caused/polluted mostly by ‘stupid, clueless, dumb, egoistical’ humans, so they said.

Every all wise gurus of this world (be it Buddha, Jesus, etc) […]

that most entirely misunderstand it’s message. It is an awakening of your spirit from your physical body – of course these two things can be connected, but the problem we have in this world is that it simply does not cater for enlightenment, so there is NOWHERE for it to go other than to manifest into another form of material belonging. From there it will bring you depressions, anger and feelings of hopelessness. 

The only way to be living in your spiritual self, in this world that does not cater for you, is to live beyond it, either in death (and the fear of death is […]

I’m 48 and my ‘depression’ started about 25 years ago. I was never diagnosed as bipolar or anything, just occasionally put on anti-depressants. I got better many times and enjoyed life, but always kind of knowing that ‘all was not well really’. I’m attractive and have friends and family, I’ve always done what I want to do more than what society wants me to do. I am very spiritual and as least materialistic as society allows (to the point of not starving on the streets). 

I want to tell you all, that if you feel suicidal because the world just isn’t what you think it should be, […]

It hurts everything just plainly hurts.

I hate.

I seeth. 

I sleep. 

And than I wake up as it starts all over again

I don’t know why but theres this bitter hatred, a part of me is unforgiving to them all. My brother, my sister, my mother, my father. Everyone. Its this hate. When I talk with them, I remember horrible times that have happened. And I hate.

Everything just seems so unreal, fake, as if this world is just turning and turning waiting for something to happen. And me, I continue this monotonus cycle of hate, never forgiving, never forgetting, always hating. That’s all it is. This endless stupid cycle! I […]

I probably shouldn’t even consider death as an option, I got a wonderful wife and two adorable daughters. I know I’m needed as a father, sometimes as a husband, but that is not enough for me. I want to win in life and if my family is like food for my well being, then success on the work side of life is like water. Ever since I finished my secondaries, I’ve just been jobbing around, even if I was good at what I was doing, there was always something to take me out. Now I’m 35 jobless again since 1.5 years, considering my age my […]

I was the 2nd illegitimate child of an irish woman in the 1960’s. Both she and her family hated me more than her ‘first mistake’. I am still haunted by this at age 41. A father of three children and a moderately successful entrepreneur witha good education that I got between beatings and humiliation.

I was beaten with savagery and my now grown up siblings are parents and choose to deny my existence than admit the fun they had in the entire debacle.

I know that it was a form of abuse on them too but at the time they loved it and I was a great […]