I have just spent the last week or so reading through the posts and responses on this site. Firstly, there is are two huge differences involved with suicidal people. One is outside influences that make a person so ‘depressed’ that they feel they can no longer live. In most cases, if you could rectify this persons problems, say for instance, give them money, give them health, make that one person that they love love them back etc, then they would chose life over suicide. The second is the person who simply doesn’t care about the world, or it’s influences, you could offer this person all […]

Aly’s funeral was today.

It was…weird. I thought that I would be a wreck, sheddding more tears then I thought I was capable of, but for some reason, watching all those people who loved Aly walk past her coffin, kiss her forehead, touch her hair, remember the good times they had with her when she was alive.

It made me smile.

“Violet, are you okay?” Drake was sitting next to me, his hand warm over mine.

I nodded, “I’m fine”.

I didn’t know what was wrong with me, why I was so happy, it was a funeral after all, the irony of it was even a little ridiculous, I felt like such […]

Prof. David Fergusson looked depressed on ‘Close Up’ (TV1)  tonight, and who wouldn’t?  A ten and a half minute series of sound bites focusing on media rights and obligations. A press gave him the equivalent of 10″ x 2″ on page two.

Suicide is the most appalling waste of potential, and our society needs to honestly face up to the causes and responsibilities for these losses, instead of hiding the problem in the collective closet.  I believe we have some of the highest statistics in the Western world, especially for young males.

I first saw a psychologist when I was 8.  My new private school decided […]

Just my two cents on suicide and why I think about alot. This is actually a tough question to answer and it took a lot of books on civilization for me to figure it out.

Now with people on here who are thinking about suicide because of their girlfriend or boyfriend. Honestly, this confuses me because when you leave a relationship everything is the same as it was before so wouldn’t you have already thought of suicide. Possibly you weren’t depressed before but as you’ve gotten older and started to grow depressed they were the one distraction and now you just can’t stop thinking about death […]

Well I must be the stupidest person alive because all I
can think of is cutting myself and wanting to be dead.
Everyone says they love me, but how can that be true when
they just keep bashing on me. Cutting seems to make
everything disapper and all the pain is gone. I feel so
much better after the cut is made. I feel like the world
couldn’t get any better or worse. No one understands why I
do it. It just makes everything alright and it may not
last long but each time I pray the feeling will last just
a little longer. I […]

Well, first I’d like to share something: http://www.explosm.net/comics/39/
I completly love this site. Completly.

Secondly, well, I don’t know, sometimes I think that if I get out of here maybe I feel a little better. Like moving to another country… Living alone. decorate the apartment, doing whatever I want. I think that would be great break the routine, a change of air. Well, I can’t do that. I’m kind of social-phobic and I think it would be too complicated, right now I’m not even able to leave my house. I’m so “safe” in here. Besides I don’t even have money to do that.

Thirdly… uhm, sometimes I […]

Why am I fighting to live

If Im just living to fight

Why am I trying to see

When there aint nothin in sight

Why am i tryin to give

When no 0ne gives me a try

Why am I dyin to live

When Im just livin to die

This is the hook off of my favorite songs. it says so much with so little.

Bear with me, I haven’t done this before. I don’t even know why I’m doing this. Basically, I have nothing to live for. That’s the basics. I’m 21, I have no family, due to severe abuse in my childhood, and since I was 10 I have suffered from mental health issues. I overdosed many times and started self harming. At 14 I was put in care, and had to go to a young people’s mental health unit for 4 years. Since leaving there I have always been very up and down but last July it got worse, and I tried killing myself through overdose. Didn’t […]

I dont know what to say my whole life has been shit. I have been trying to kill myself since i was a child of about 10.  Nothing ever goes right in my life and that is no exaggeration, sometimes i think god hates me for something i did. or something someone else did. its to the point where i had to ask my mother if i was concentually concieved because i feel like my being here is a mistake. i really hate myself and i am just so tired of trying and failing how  can one person be such a failure. god must hate me […]

how should i put this? Did you ever think of killing your self, writing a letter to say good bye. And then you find something that makes you stop in you tracks and think about what your doing? That thing might even make you say “Mabey some other day”. And those people who have this ever happen berley ever notice that the thing that made them not kill themeless all so saved there lives and made them happy. But for most people it takes awhile to realize this. But try to find something that makes you happy.

And try doing that thing more often! Believe me […]

I have tried to write this 5 times, I’m so malfunctioned and exhausted, every single thing I try to do seems impossible, even writing this. I used to be (supposedly am) a successful sports person and I write about sport, but lately I can’t even feed myself. I used sport to keep me busy from thinking that this life is killing me. Just looking at the world kills me a bit every time. I hate it here. Even talking takes too much effort. For me the spell that this world has us all under, has broken, and that has rendered me completely useless. I can […]

I’m putting my suicide note online because I have no-one to leave one for in my actual life. I will be found by my landlord probably, or an ambulance or the police so not much point leaving it for them.

I have been sad and empty my whole life. I was born, and as soon as I learned about my surroundings and the world, I lost my soul. I saw the world I was born into and there was no way I was putting my soul into that, so I lost it somewhere, or it ran away because it wasn’t being used. I couldn’t pay any […]

 

For a long time now I have been ‘depressed’ or maybe it’s ‘enlightened’ I don’t know. I have not participated (as much as possible) in general life as I have come to find nothing but lies there. Today, I decided to go online and catch up with what’s happening in the world and check out what lies are being inflicted on us lately, as now I feel in a place in my head where I can view them objectively. I came across Big Brother (the UK one), this is a program that I have never watched, stuff like this was never of interest to me […]

I give up i need to die, i have tryed for the last 3month trying to kill myself but nothing is working need help need all this to be over

i just want out of this darkness. the first time i wanted to kill myself i was 11 yrs old. there’s a sign to come of a life of misery – what healthy kid thinks about suicide? none, that’s who. my childhood was shit so my foundation was already wobbly and deeply cracked. how am i supposed to build greatness or just plain ole happiness on that?

i’m 33 yrs old and married. my partner is good, kind, loving, which i could be more of, but just can’t because of my inner blocks. i’ve had 2 devastating heart breaks […]

My life is a mess. One thing helps me through; helping others with their problems. I will talk to you about anything; from the weather to your deepest fears and problems. Email me and I will email back.. You deserve a chance..

emeliajane@hotmail.co.nz.

Love&Light.

The world around you is falling and Life seems to vanish. People are running by. The cries they scream are no longer there. The night grows longer and longer. The main thing is that being alone sucks. I look around for someone and silently call for help. To bad you’re not there to help. You call and say you will be late but never even show. I’ll cry inside and not tell a soul. You will never know the nightmares that are there every day. Three hours tonight, hopefully I’ll have more tomorrow. People are all around and yet I feel so small. I’m not […]

I am here as someone that received an opportunity to change … or as I see it, I only failed. Well, my story is that in 2007 I couldn’t deal anymore with anything: university, family, friends, people, nothing. so in september I waited to midnight and took a bunch of pills that I colected for months and some that I found in the kitchen … result? here I am! an hour later after I took the pills I woke up feeling terrible and for some stupid reason I thought I was paying for my ‘suicide’ thinking that I was still alive but it wasn’t true. Idiot me right? Well my poor […]

Quantity or quality. I ask myself that everyday. I am somewhat happy now. On meds that stabilize my mood. But I am still empty inside. It is that emptiness that no one understands. I have borderline personality disorder. (And I don’t even know why I chose to share it with any of my friends, they say that I am not borderline and that I am just fine. Yet they fail to answer why I wish to put a bullet in my heart to replace the emptiness.) So I continue to tread lightly. I avoid my […]

Even after i told my friends about my problems the showed little care exept for 3 people. And i thank them with all of my heart. But even if it made me feel alittle better. I still want to die, so do day just to see if anyone truely cared about me. I send a text saying “if i died would u cry? would u care?”. i had 4 responses. But only to the 1st question. “YES” “mabey” “of course” and  r u asking this? To those people who resoponded i thank you again. because that one word saved my life today. And i may […]