For as long as I can remember, I’ve been suicidal. Life’s been hard since birth afterall. I never went through with attempting anything though because there was always the smallest sliver of hope to hold onto. I never stopped to think how pointless it was however. Hanging on to false hope is incredibly cruel to the soul. It only sets you up to be crushed again and again. To fall down back into the pit where you started, and to resubmerge into the continuous pain and suffering that’s all too familiar. Its exhausting. I’m at my breaking point.
Not suicide related
Long distance relationships are far too difficult. I just spent 2 months with him in real life and now I’m going back to my boring miserable life back home. I want a better job, I want to be productive, I would even consider volunteering.
Gosh it really does seem easier to end my life knowing I’ve enjoyed these 2 months very much.
This just hurts so bad. I’m so lonely and I want to cry all the time. It’s torture.
Im so done with living. I have been bullied most of my life and made so many choices that were dumb and now I have so many mental issues that I cant escape from… im 26 now and cant even get a relationship. I have 3 friends but not sure how long that will last. My life just isn’t worth living and im just ready to end it and stop the suffering from day to day of trying to fight something that is ultimately going to win anyway. I cut almost daily to cope with the pain. I cant find joy in anything anymore. I […]
How sick I am of being human. Always looking to get laid. I know that doesn’t work on this board because a lot of you have the opposite problem. Struggling to pay my property taxes on my tiny house. There’s a candidate named Andrew Yang who advocates giving everyone in America, over 18, $1000 a month. Yes. Do it. That would relieve half of my problems.
My other problems can’t even be described. I don’t like being locked in a body in this 3D environment. The restrictions. I’m one of these people that believe the Universe is teeming with life and other civilizations aren’t restricted by […]
So yeah, fell in love, another bullshit story of a broken heart, yadda yadda yadda.
To keep things short, what I know think I must do is to get away from this person for a little while at least, so I can get a little better and whatnot. After all, I think it would be great to take care of myself for once in a lifetime. Right now, the only thing I want to do is to go on with my life. I’ve grown too apathetic to really care about most things that could happen next.
But, is it the correct thing to do? I wouldn’t wanna […]
today i almost wanted to end it. i left school telling myself that i wouldn’t be coming back here. there’s times i think my pain will go away but things just keep getting worse. today was going to be my last day but i decided to stay for a little longer because my mom cooked my favorite meal for lunch. i felt like that was a sign. or maybe it wasn’t but if it keeps me going for another day i’ll take it.
There was a post here 7 years ago I guess in 2012 about a guy who had a second thought, or a second self… like him and him in the same body where he said they shared the same body and talked with each other and how the second thought knew a lot of stuff, and they always argued because the second thought told him immoral stuff, not like hurt anyone, but how everything was evil and always showed him true nature of people and their intentions…
If anyone still remembers that post can you give me the link? Or can someone guide me to how […]
I want to fall in love. I want someone to love me truly, with all their heart and life. I want to be love……
I wish i could disappear from everyone’s memories. Watch them from a far as they carry on with their lives, happy, without me, a burden. Leave to a far away country and live alone. Thinking about life and repenting on everything i have done. I think i have caused enough pain to my love ones. They have enough pain in there lives, i am insufficient. Thay have enough shit going in there lives, i am a hindrance. I wish them all the best in this world. I love them too much. It is best i disappear so they can be happy. I’m sorry, i love […]
Hey, it’s been a while. I feel like shit. I don’t know what to do or how to make it all go away. I’m tired, not the kind of “tired” that you just want to rest but the one that you’re physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually drained. I just want all of this to end. So i’m going to do it. Not now but soon. Days like these will be over. I’m just holding on for the final hours. It will be over soon.
Sometimes l feel like killing some people
penetrated
the seeping carcass uncoagulated leaks a guilty mother’s tears
she supervised the wound and dressed it with alchemists dreams
non believing a golden retrieving
in the light of death it looks like lead.
tearing the wound, a universe of indignity,
a sharp phallus years in the reckoning
intestines twisting in the father’s fist
the loving hand shakes with indignant malignance,
kisses on the crown for the slave to his denial and love
in the light of death it looks like hate.
ravished by rage, smashed against a wall, place your delicate baby back into its […]
If I am writing here right now, I guess it means I have come to a breaking point. I just can’t take this crap so I will get it off my chest. Second, sorry for my English, it’s just too bad.
I have been trying to beat all this crap for 15 years already. 15 years of sadness and tiredness with some anger. But during the last month, something has changed. All I feel is pure blind anger because there is no way out of this.
You can get the picture. Ignored, alone, everyone treats you like shit, no money, more and more tired, more and more […]
Just smoking weed again, but my pets around me so its cool ……… having pizza too mmmm Peace love Happiness
I’m afraid of myself.
I’m so mean
But i’ve Always had the healthy fear of the adults controlling my life up to this point keeping me from trying anything. I’m 18 now. Nobody will be able to force me into therapy if they notice the slits, nobody will be able to make me go to a mental hospital if they find out I’m suicidal again. And that is a relief but also really terrifying. Because the thoughts swarm my brain and won’t leave me alone for anything. There’s nothing keeping me from stepping to the edge now. I’ve run away, put myself in a questionable financial situation, […]
It had to happen and happen it did, it happened in stern reality. The law of averages, the law of probability pointed towards it happening, it was bound to happen, only a matter of time before it happened. Any man deceiving multiple doctors, pharmacists etc in pursuit of Ambien will be caught eventually, irrespective of how careful you are. I got away with it for a good ten years, then last month whilst getting Ambien as per usual in a pharmacy, the pharmacist gave me a strange look and said ” according to my records you’re registered with another doctor”. I kept a cool head, […]
I dont know what I have to do to stop all this pain and suffering that l experience everyday. I wish l knew if there is a way out.
Nature’s Duality: for things to exist we need both good and bad. We can’t have only one or other.
I know who I am. I know that I don’t fit. I fought. I thought I stood for something. I made no impact and got impacted the most. I am choosing my way out and no one respects my wishes including the man upstairs or whatever you believe. I almost succeeded the last time. Ended up in a coma for a month. I find now that my life is slow torture. Things happen for a reason and you end up in positions that you don’t want to be in. And you fight but there is no place to go home. Is it worth it? Are […]