Well I made it out alive once more, not sure how I feel about that. Actually just woke up. After more shit was thrown on my already full plate, I lost it and raged like I tend to do. So after being up for 3 days partying, rippin the scooter down the highway at 120+ enough alcohol and other things that would kill a herd of elephants, sleeping for another day. I woke up, but instead of being pissed off because I did wake like usually do, I woke up and thought of the people that I’ve met here that have showed me love […]
I’m not sure if the way I perceive it is normal, so can you all let me know on this? I usually don’t have an innate sense of if something that happened was 3 days ago or 3 weeks ago. I have to go by numerical dates, or if I don’t have those, I have to carefully go through the logical sequence of events and match up specific events before and after whatever I’m thinking of, and find numerical dates for those so that I can come up with a range and figure out when it was.
I can mostly remember things that happened yesterday as definitely having been yesterday, […]
Now don’t be worried if I don’t reply straight away I’ve been awake for 3 days straight technically 4 days since it’s 4:36am
-Sui
i find it so hard to express how I’m really feeling or mayb I don’t know how I’m feeling
so the mental health people come to check up on me every 3 days now because what happened on Monday well the woman asked do I regret doing it I pursed and said noI don’t….
because my life is pretty much a mess I don’t know what to do were to start lost interest in everything I’m bored of life iv seen enough and been though a lot why be optimistic ? Yeah things can get better but finding happiness is what counts and I don’t tink il […]
I can’t fucking sleep. I haven’t been able to sleep for 3 days now and im about ready to freak the fuck out. My body feels weird in a horrid way. I just want to blow my head off, or his. I hate this fucking place. I need to leave. Tonight I’m wearing 5 layers of clothes. Under 6 blankets. He’s fucking here and I want to fucking kill him. You have no fucking idea how didficult it is pretending everything is normal. Everything is fucking peachy mom! Don’t worry about me! I’m fucking fine!
I think I’m allergic to the softer or something my mum used to wash the clothes the other day. I’ve had rashes for 3 days that itch constantly, and I’m cutting myself with my nails scratching. Oh well. It distracts me at times. I get so preoccupied with stopping the itches that I don’t think about what’s going on. I can deal with the stinging and itching if it means forgetting everything for a short while. I guess I just have something else to add to my allergies.
I left college early again today. I stayed for 2 hours until lunch, and then went home. It’s […]
ok before anyone thinks I’m trying to off myself again, I mean let myself not get stuff done.
I have exams in 3 days and have done quite literally nothing to even begin preparing for them. I need to study and get organized in order to be get the grades I need. I didn’t do anything yesterday after I tried to kill myself but it didn’t work (I’m physically fine just a little inconvenienced) and I didn’t do anything after classes today either. Thinking about how much I need to do and how I have done nothing is reinforcing all the reasons I want to off […]
so my ex and I were together for a year, we did drugs all the time and I ended up in a psychosis with so many delusions that I broke up with her thinking I was being followed among many other things. I’ve wasted a lto of money, I have a shitty atar and I constantly feel like I’m fighting my own mind, each day is a tremendous struggle. it’s my brithday in 3 days and I’ll be turning 19. my ex has cut me out of her life completely, calls me a stalker and talks bad about me. My current girlfriend does not make […]
I don’t have an eating disorder, but I do use starvation as a form of self-harm. The pain and weakness that come with intense hunger are gratifying in a sick, sick way. Hunger is one part punishment, one part distraction. I deserve to suffer this way, and the suffering keeps my mind off of how terrible I feel emotionally.
I haven’t had a full meal in 3 days and have been sleeping through dinner. The best part is that no one in my family cares. I told you. I deserve this. No one in this house would care if I rotted away. I should really just […]
Hello all.
Don’t know how to start really. I’m 24 y.o. and i’m dealing with suicide thoughts over a 10 years now. I’m kinda ”controlling” it with drugs and weed, but once i stop using everything i become suicidal and auto destructive. I don’t know how to maintain my good mood when i’m clear, i can’t live like that anymore. I didn’t use anything for 3 days now. I just drink water, i don’t eat or sleep. I work 10 hours a day just to keep my brain occupied.
And it doesn’t matter if i’m alone, with my friend or when i was with my […]
Guys i need to share this with someone. On the 4th december around 10 pm I took 160 pills of paracetamol with half botle of vodka. It was 72g of paracetamol. I read that 12g is lethal. Anyway, I passed out and woke up at 5:30 am covered with vomit. There was vomit everywhere, even inside my fridge ( i guess i was trying to drink water). How can be possible someone walk while inconscient. I really think God saved me. At 7:00 a.m. I went to the ER, I was vommiting, sweeting, I had fever and I couldn’t think clear. I stayed 4 days […]
Thank you for sharing that song last night. I’ve been stuck in my room watching the rose my mother gave me yesterday bloom. I finally fell asleep as the first petal began to drop. It was almost 3 days without sleep.
It’s been months since I’ve had a truly good day, lots of okay days, thanks to my wife, but no days where I don’t think “You should end it. Today.”
Somewhere along the way, I picked up a coping method to keep myself alive: My “72 Hour” Rule. You’re going to kill yourself? Fine, but there’s a 72 hour waiting period. Do whatever. Plan it, buy supplies, make sure your affairs are in order, but you can’t kill yourself for 3 days. You’ve lived this long, what’s 3 more days? I’m not even saying you have to get out of bed – Just don’t die, that’s […]
so again I’m saying I quit. I’ve posted before saying I planned to end it, and obviously changed my mind. Well I’m back with a new plan. I did a little research, picked out my date. The steps are in motion. I’m tired of going back and forth and honestly I don’t want help. I don’t want to get better. I know I can’t. I did the math and I’ve had sucidal thoughts for around 8 yrs. I first tried to kill myself in 8th grade so I was around 12. And since then it’s been back and forth. I’ve tried to end it so […]
I got everything in the mail finally. About 10 mins ago I used an extra shoe string to bend the nozzle on the helium tank so it remains open and provides a constant flow.
I had to purchase a couple of small plumbing fixtures to create an adapter to fit the hose on the tank. But I’ve got an airtight seal so there’s no leakage.
Ive already learned how to put on the mask and got it fitted just right.
So I’m ready to go. Now the next time I get sick. Instead of laying here in agony for 3 days, I’m OUT!!!
Special thanks to whoever posted the […]
Ive been crying for 3 days straight im just going to end it its my only ,way out right now…..bye
Part of my ongoing journey includes long periods of insomnia. Since the last prolonged period, a couple of weeks ago, I am finding a bit more rest, or have been able to find a deeper sleep for a few hours at a time.
Mom died in April 2013. For those who don’t know, following all of my heart related trauma and becoming disabled, I had been her companion/caregiver for the last 2.5 years of her life. The two of us lived alone in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada, halfway between Sacramento and Lake Tahoe, as her dementia worsened.
I miss her so much. I often joke […]
So….Salt and I both had 3 days of hell, back to back. I think when he fell down the hole, I was still kind of connected to him. Through this site, we both found ways to hold on, because, believe me, during my time in hell last week, I would have blown my brains out if I had a gun….and some of you know how anti gun I am…so what does that tell you?
Now for the corny part: I truly believe the only way we are gonna get through this life is if those of us who understand the weight of our illness are ready […]
well the past 2 days have been the worst. to start with i started cutting 3 days ago one of my best friends oded on pills and i don’t know if she is alive right now. ive been thinking about hanging my self for the past 2 days and i have a pill bottle on my desk full of random shit. im not scared to kill myself just scared to fail(again). oh and on top of that my best friend was in a car accident that left him paralyzed. why do i get the shittest life possible. honestly i could write a ten page essay on […]