i have never been the one to believe in suicide, but the feeling of this hurt is overwhelming. its almost like i cant breathe. im a 30ish something female, and i have a great career, children, family and friends. my husband left me earlier this year and my entire life was flipped upside down. i never saw it coming. i later found out that he was indulging in activities with another female. i was a good wife and my family is everything to me. i didnt do anything to deserve this. i dont eat, i have taken time off of […]
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7 Months
For awhile now I have thought of suicide alot. Its not somehting I want to do but im at a point to where its something im really starting to think about and cant help it. I been reading on hypoxic death and it seems the best way to go. I wasnt able to breathe well for about 7 months and then after feeling well for about a month something else happened….I have somehting wrong in my head and I cant think right. I call it brain fog but its affecting me more than I can tell anyone or even put into words. Its ruining my […]
I’ve tried everything to get better. Meds, therapy, at least 7 hospital stays, vitamins, diet, ECT…10 years i’ve been in this hell! My last episode has lasted all of this year and most of last year, without a break!! I’m never happy for longer than half a day at a time and that happens very rarely (maybe once a month). I’ve been suicidal for over 7 months since my ECT treatment failed to help me. I’ve seen over 8 psychiatrists and none have helped. My current doctor’s only suggestion was to come off meds entirely (cause they do nothing) and find a new therapist. That’s it. […]
Hi my name Is Emily and I’m 15 years old. I was diagnosed with depression about 7 months ago. My life hasn’t been the same since. I was dealing with my sexuality, paranoia, anxiety, OCD, school,anger problems and cutting. This all led to my horrible depression. I was hospitalized around Christmas time because of a strangling attempt. I spent Christmas and New Years Eve in the hospital where I stayed for 18 days. Afterwards I started going to an outpatient day program for kids and teenagers with emotional problem called the CDU which stood for Children’s Day Unit. There i met many good friends especially one. Her […]
The only silver lining was my BFF laura who was there for me and knew all of my sufferings and pain, she was who i confidended in when nan left. It felt like she’d stabbed me in the back from the front and left a wound so big and so deep that it still bleeds today. For 7 year we were everything to each other and in a matter of days she tossed me aside like an old rag. We went from being inseperable to seperable, we use to be able to tell each other everything and now we sit side by side and don’t say a […]
I’m a monster. I destroy everything I touch. I’m a freak.
These are the thoughts that have plagued my mind for the past two years. It all started when I lost my best friend in 9th grade. After she joined band, we got into different social groups. I always had issues with making new friends, so I became her “stalker”. She began to distance herself from me, and I began to threaten to cut myself to get her to talk to me. At first the threats weren’t serious, but threats always turn into promises. When the cuts eventually lost its effectiveness, I began making suicidal threats. […]
The idea of killing myself is becoming more and more frequent, the plans, the ideas, the notes.. I have written so many of them.
If only she could see that I am suffering without her.. That I am lost, hopeless.. alone. Life seems so meaningless, so insignificant. My mind has sunk deep into an abyss of sadness and sorrow. I don’t know how much more I can take.
She was my world. Yet she left me.. Left me with no explanation. As time passed I worked it out. She left me for someone else. Someone I have know since I was a kid, initially I […]
I am married. To the most wonderful man. I always felt in life that I would have to settle, and God showed me differently. We have moved 15 hours from where I grew up. 15 hours from everything that I have ever known. I do not know anyone aside from my husband’s family, who are wonderful people…but they are not friends. I hardly know them. I find it so exhausting trying to be a good daughter-in-law. Everyone knows everything about everyone up here and I have always enjoyed my privacy. My husband and I have tried to a new church and we both like it. […]
For 7 months i have been in this state.
at first it started as saddness,but as time went by it turned into pain and numbness.
I turned to a friend who understood how i felt. But he kept telling me to wait a little bit, and i wouldbe okay. But ive waited to damn long, and everything just keeps getting worse! Im sick of it!
I keep telling my guy that it’s getting harder & harder to not end my pain. I am flustered and short tempered with him bc I want him to help me, I want someone to see that I do not attempt I have been talking about it for a long time, that when I try I will in fact die. I have these reels of rapes and hurt, abandonment, success then failure that just play in my head and I cannot get them to stop. I did a program for PTSD and I use to be some hot shot CEO, but it’s like… I still […]
I spent most of today doing math homework with a girl from my class. Â I actually didn’t mind the math homework so much because at least it meant I got to socialize with someone. Â But it also depressed me. Â She kept getting messages on her phone from friends and several people she knew stopped to say hi to her as they walked to class. Â And then there’s me, for whom it’s unusual if I get more than a couple texts a week and all the social interactions I’ve had in the past 7 months can be counted on my hands. Â I miss Amber more […]
So this is my first post.. sorry if it’s not very clear or easy to understand. I’m just lost.
So i never thought i would be this way. I had a great childhood, and at 20 i still feel like a kid sometimes. Like a kid that was just testing out the water and all the sudden was pushed in. Except in this imaginary world, i don’t know how to swim. So here i am struggling to stay above water. Now i’m not sure if it’s worth the effort anymore.
To put it simply, i feel so empty inside. I’m sure part of the reason is because […]
At work….can’t stop crying between patients. Â My wife left me about 7 months ago. I finally got to talk to her and she acted like a total stranger with me. There was apathy on her side. She hates me …even thought i didn’t do anything to her…cheating…hitting…nothing. She just stop loving me. I am taking med now..but they are helping just a little bit. I still want too take sleeping pill and never wake up. My wife wouldn’t give a shit anyway….i am death to her….why not be dead in real life then
This is my story..
In the past few years I started getting a really bad temper. I would hit my mom, throw things, break things, scream and yell. Well this past August it got really bad..the cops came to my house. I was taken to the hospital, I was put into a partial program..I was supposed to stay for two weeks, but I only stayed for a week cause my mom didn’t want me to miss my first week of school. That was a mistake, it didn’t help. I went to my first week of school, then I stopped going..I wouldn’t go. I’d spend days […]
Thank you for the replies sent to me to tell you a bit more about me i will,
when i was 4 years old I was hit by a car the driver worked for the goverment and he was driving drunk when he hit me with his car i went 20 feet at the time in the air came down hard on my head this kept me in hospital for 6 months with stuff all over my head then when Iwas 6 years old i had to share a bed with one of my uncles while in the bed with him I was made to […]
I’m 19 years old. Just finished my freshman year of college, double major in Political Science and Communications with a French minor. Straight A’s. My dad works at the church, my mom is a special education teacher, I have a brother who’s 15. I’ve had a boyfriend who loves me and who I love with all my heart for 7 months. I guess that all seems pretty perfect.
I began feeling symptoms of depression in 7th grade. Of course, I didn’t know what it was that I was feeling. When it all fell apart for me, though, began 3 days before my 14th birthday, 8th grade, […]
I have had an undiagnosed illness for 7 months now. My symptoms are too overwhelming to indicate here however it is of a medical nature not psychological. This illness has left me mostly bedridden, unable to leave the house except for dr’s appointments and unable to drive and struggling to walk.  I’m in my mid 30’s and had everything going for me. I mean everything. I considered my life to be almost perfect. I am a lover of all life has to offer and now all i can do is look out my bedroom window and see everyone else and everything living. My new doctor seems […]
People used to tell me not to cry for someone, for they are not worth your tears. The one who was worth your tears would have never made you cry. I didn’t believe in that sh*t. I met this person, and fell madly in love with him because of how kind and caring he was. I was certain we would always be together, because we always talked about getting married and having kids. Mind you, I’m 16, and he’s 18. So yes, we were young. But I loved him. While we were together, I was constantly getting bombed by my all too perfect stepmother about […]
Its how I feel most of the time. I want to say I just feel stupid most of the time but that’s not the word I’m looking for. I’m extremely hard on myself and reaching out for help is something I hardly ever do. I guess you could say I’m the type who always offers to help ((even people I don’t know)) but never actually asks for help myself especially when I need it. I try to help people as best I can on this site by offering to listen to them, but I feel as if no one will listen to me ((on and […]
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