Tag:

alone

I wish I live in movies, books, novels, comics, anime, video games. Real world / Real life / Reality is boring & depressing.

by niki 1/26/2018

written by niki

Honestly, I just can’t understand nor fathom why Most / Majority of people can go watch movies, read cool, creative, imaginative books / novels / anime / comics, or play super imaginative & fantasy video games, and then later on they just go back to reality, as if nothing happens, and they’re ok with everything.

I hate to say this, but Most people simply just lack Imaginations. Even worse, Most people are boring. All people care in the everyday’s reality & their lives is just the most superficial, mundane, boring, & stupid things. Which is very depressing, especially when you feel like you’re just alone & […]

1/26/2018 4 comments

Hopeless

by CaptchaIsSlavery 1/11/2018

written by CaptchaIsSlavery

I was born into a family history of abuse. My female progenitor, “Louise”, (who I stopped calling mother years ago) was raped by siblings and step-parents and ignored by her female progenitor who favored the boys according to Louise. She got pregnant with me seemingly to “catch” her boyfriend, who didn’t take the bait and left. I suspect they were both damaged, shitty, selfish, childish people who couldn’t love. Louise then neglected me from birth and abused me mentally/emotionally for several years as a single mother on welfare.

As an example, when I was a boy of maybe 8-10 years old, I wrote Louise a poetic […]

1/11/2018 6 comments

Looking Back

by colourandlight 1/7/2018

written by colourandlight

I spend a lot of time looking back. Especially recently.

Aged 9. Started self harming.

Aged 10. Tried to throw myself out of the window (several times).

Aged 11. Couldn’t understand why I was the way I was. What was wrong with me.

Aged 12. Distractions. Life. I wasn’t any better, but things kept moving.

Aged 13. Minor improvements. Self acceptance.

Aged 14. Good. Not great, but good. Acceptance. Progress. Self medicating through reading.

and life continued much the same until last year. Not good. Not bad. Clear head at least.

I met someone. We’ll call him Oscar. Or O.

He was amazing. A recovering alcoholic, who’d been driven to drink by the desire […]

1/7/2018 4 comments

not as easy as it seems

by no hope to feel alive so i adopt complacency 12/26/2017

written by no hope to feel alive so i adopt complacency

everyone told me that being positive would help me through my recovery. everyone told me they would stay with me through thick and thin but they lied so now i’m starting to think that maybe they were just talking in their sleep. the problem for being positive is that there is nothing good about me specifically. i’m ugly, fat, and good for nothing. how am i supposed to be positive when these things are just the truth. and every day i wonder how much better death would be than living where no one even fucking cares and there’s not a single good characteristic about me. […]

12/26/2017 2 comments

Disorganized thoughts

by RiloMor 12/6/2017

written by RiloMor

It’s not like I haven’t tried to speak my mind to, tell someone. In fact I have been hospitalized for my depression, 7 day lock up with medication and a councilor to ‘talk about it.’ But why did they believe me when I told them it was because of some random girl making fun of me for being gay and trans-masculine. I don’t know why I’m depressed, or why I panic when I’m near people or feel the need to just scream for no reason. Why did they think it was another person hating me when I was hating myself for not knowing why I […]

12/6/2017 0 comment

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

by niki 10/28/2017

written by niki

Virtual Reality ( VR ) , Artificial Intelligence ( AI ) , Transhumanist / Transhumanism , space travel , mutations : to escape this boring reality , boring real world , boring real life !

Human’s imagination is better than reality !

Movie / Movies is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Game / Games is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Comic / Comics book is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Novel / Novels is better than boring reality , real life , real world !
Science fiction ( sci-fi […]

10/28/2017 2 comments

Twenty.

by AmandaBen 10/25/2017

written by AmandaBen

One.
For the sadness that lies deep in my heart,
And for the freedom that’s about to start.

Two.
For the hurt I’ve felt for 6 long years,
And for those long nights filled with tears.

Three.
For the emptiness I always feel,
And for my soul that will never heal.

Four.
For the broken smile I always fake,
And for my joy that always seems to break.

Five.
For a life I no longer want to live in,
And for death to take over and win.

Twenty.
For my last breath I will ever take,
And for my eyes to close and never to wake.

– A.B

Just a little background information: The countdown are not seconds, or time in general.

10/25/2017 2 comments

Have you ever

by checherose555 10/22/2017

written by checherose555

Have you ever f*cked up a situation or friendship that you honestly believed was unf*ckable? That you believed was foolproof, with no f*ckabilty ratio?

I did that yesterday..and it sucks.

I just thought I could open up more, to someone I have been trying to open up to for a few years now. It is not a relationship, but it was helping me get through some things. I considered him to be a friend. And now he sees me as a crazy, depressed, hopeless loon; so I lost another friend.

Here’s to another birthday knowing that I should just keep my f*cking mouth shut when it comes […]

10/22/2017 2 comments

I can’t take it anymore.

by towardthelight 10/12/2017

written by towardthelight

I don’t think I can continue this life anymore. I’ve been struggling with anxiety for about 6 years and major depression for 2 years.

I only have a couple friends. They are my only friends, but we don’t see each other much because one of them works a lot, and the other lives a state away.

It feels like I’m wasting my life away. I haven’t done anything spectacular or fun. I’ve never dated anyone. I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never had a large group of friends. I’ve always been the outcast, the invisible one, the freak.

No one really cares about me. I know they […]

10/12/2017 6 comments

poem

by 123hanna456 10/9/2017

written by 123hanna456

a storm is brewing
dark and long
a storm is headed your way
huge clouds
to stop your train of thought
rain to fill your eyes
wind to stop you from hearing
a storm is brewing and is headed right for you
sending imagination your way

a storm has hit
darkening the world
clouding the judgement
stopping thoughts from processing
people only use the imagination that’s given
killing the happiness inside

A storm has passed
killed minds but left the souls

10/9/2017 2 comments

my crazy life…

by hellfire187 10/4/2017

written by hellfire187

hey,

just want to share a little bit of my story. Sorry for my bad english.

My father is an alcoholic psycho, as long as I can think. He was allways fliping out. I started smoking weed, when I was 12. I was smoking and drinking every day, since Im 16. At this age, I became sick, crohns desease. Every day pain, like hell… Im on opiate painkillers since Im 20. This every day pain breaks my brain. Got depressed after some years of horrible pain. With 25 I started to take speed, meth, cokain everyday use, in weekends mdma, sometimes lsd, alltogether with weed and painkillers. Every […]

10/4/2017 1 comment

Will mixing Zoloft and seroquel kill me?

by kattwilliams77 9/23/2017

written by kattwilliams77

I can’t take it anymore I’ve wanted this for years. After my grandma died I felt lost. I was with her when it happened, I was only 12. After that my life just went downhill. I dropped out of school got in trouble with the police. I’m never going to amount to anything so why does it matter.

9/23/2017 10 comments

window distraction

by plasticflower 9/23/2017

written by plasticflower

these last few days have been really weird. the number of times i’ve left my room is in single digits; i can’t seem to bring myself to leave my bed for some reason. still unemployed, still being a failure, still not doing anything, still complaining.

i don’t know what to write, but about 5 minutes ago i was sitting on my window and had a feeling i could do something not very nice so i guess typing whatever is better than that.

9/23/2017 1 comment

rambling

by plasticflower 9/12/2017

written by plasticflower

it’s been a while since the last time i posted anything here, but right now i feel like i just need to type stuff out.

lots of things have been happening lately, the biggest thing being i moved. i was okay for a while, feeling pretty neutral, which at this point is great. but it’s only been getting worse for some reason, nothing significant has happened. i’ve been feeling very weird these past few days though, i can’t feel anything. it’s like i’m numb for some reason? yesterday i met a youtuber i really admire and i thought i’d be so happy but i didn’t feel […]

9/12/2017 1 comment

what it feels like

by claryland 9/6/2017

written by claryland

i almost hate everything. and i’m most dissatisfied with all things.

but i had some frozen yogurt today with my two friends and it was the first day of school. i dislike being so young and feeling this way—everyone says you shouldn’t have to feel this way at such a young age?

but i realized after i sat down with the two of them and was looking forward to enjoy a small bowl of frozen yogurt, i had immediately thought that i’d rather be in my bed listening to some vast silence that i’ve come to love.

everyone was so nice and so kind and so was i. […]

9/6/2017 1 comment

where do i start?

by wannabehappy 9/1/2017

written by wannabehappy

back in march 2015, my best friend (really my only friend) died. i was 16 years old and of course, it destroyed me. i didnt leave my room for months, did terrible in school, my father had to force me to eat something most days, i never knew i could cry so much every single day.

i still feel that pain every day two years later. ive moved in with my grandparents, started taking antidepressants. i got slightly happy for a quick minute.

i met a girl, allie, through bellas death since she was a mutual friend. we instantly became close because of how we both lost […]

9/1/2017 1 comment

Why?! I loved you. Why hurt me like this?

by beautifulmonster 8/31/2017

written by beautifulmonster

why B? Why? What did I do to deserve you cheating on me? Especially the way you did. Why did you drive me to do that?! you honestly believe I’m happy how I retaliated? 15 years of my life came crashing down on me that cold Monday. You tore my soul out. I don’t know who I am anymore. Millions are praying today and I feel nothing. The devils I’m thinking how do I get the angel of death to take me.

This is isn’t right. None of it. I can’t get away from it. I try and try. Ultimately I get screwed. That’s what I’m good […]

8/31/2017 1 comment

Section 19×5 Plot 21×10

by Erricjjx7 8/20/2017

written by Erricjjx7

Every single minute
Every single hour
Is too late, devoured
Her time had come
Her time had gone
The lyrics are missing, to my song

Every single minute
Every single hour
Was supposed to be ours
Her deed was done
Under a hurting fire
Not only hers to take, expire

She had done much more.

Every single minute
Every single hour
Is too late
3 year
2 year
Of Obligations devoured

All will be finished
All will be done.

“I’m sorry mother”-
Biting my tongue-,

You’ll be missing YOUR heart-,
-missing YOUR son.

8/20/2017 0 comment

start them young

by hollowchest 8/17/2017

written by hollowchest

Hi. I just wanted to get my thoughts off and just rant. Anyone else think the house is just a prison? Your parents just owners? Granted that depends on who you have as parents, so it begs the question, if they aren’t doing their job properly in raising a child, why even have one? Like why have children only to condemn them and never support or encourage them? I’m not asking much, there’s certain responsibilities they obviously need to fulfill due to the child’s inability to look after themselves, such as picking them up from school when they’re young. Other than that, anything negative that […]

8/17/2017 5 comments

Is it pitiful to die over a friendship

by FilteredSoul 8/1/2017

written by FilteredSoul

Long story short im dieing, not actually dieing but spiritually and mentally. I dont feel alive among other things. The only thing I wanted in life was this friendship with a friend and we became really good friends. My happiest moments was when we were hanging out and i dont mind that my life was completely falling apart. Some shit happened that was out of my control but we stopped being friends and i tried to kill myself for 2 months because I had never felt so alone. I didnt really have anyone else or anyone I cared about. I stopped because we started being […]

8/1/2017 1 comment

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