I have seen a fair amount of television drama and inspirational quotes about humans’ reason for existence. They always go on and on about how it will come to you and you just have to wait and most of the time the answer to your being is to find your one true love (which is really stupid, having to exist because of some stranger you cannot help but produce oxytocin to).
I lived a carefree and, at the same time, tedious childhood. I’ve try to commit suicide in already different ways since I was seven. Most of the time, I was too coward to go […]
Tag:
always
To everybody that I’ve hurt in my life, and all the lives that I’ve touched, I’m sorry. I am sorry for bringing myself into your life and bringing trouble along with me.
Anna –
You were the friend that was always there for me even though you were the one who betrayed me in the end. During our friendship, you threw me under the bus over and over again, but I forgave you each time, because I trust people too much and I forgive too easily. There were times when you were the best friend I could ever think of, and there were times when I thought […]
i’m so sick of this bullshit.
when there are many people around, they say that they’re so proud of me, that they’re lucky to have me as their daughter.
meanwhile at home, they just yell at me about how a disgrace i am to the family.
everything i do is for them, even just studying, even living.
they don’t believe in suicide, they tell me that people who commited suicide were just tempted by the devil.
but what they don’t know is that their own daughter is too.
i’ve been the salutatorian ever since i began studying. i’ve been the editor-in-chief of our school newsletter. i always join contests, but never won […]
we numb the pain but it’s still there
Beneath the surface
We fight for happiness and no one cares
A brutal preface
To a story that no one dares to tell
All too afraid
Of one persons endless hell
End the day
By fucking all the pain away
It doesn’t work
Saying things I shouldn’t say
They’re just words
Playing a game I will always lose
My voice unheard
Find the rafters and hang my noose
Covered in dirt
My soul takes flight before the weary
A small bird
With broken wings always fearing
For the worst
We are all just animals lying in wait
i have reached a point in my life that I never thought I would reach. Recently I found out my wife of almost ten years has been cheating on me for sometime now. I have worked six days a week since we were married to provide her with the life that she always wanted. We even have a beautiful son together that was recently diagnosed as having autism. I have done everything for this woman that I thought was the love of my life only to have her stab me in the back.
I came home one day to my son in his room playing, while […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
You know, I’ve always been quiet; I don’t get heard because I’ve never said a word that I thought people might actually listen to.
You know, I’ve always been forgettable; I blend into walls and make myself small, and people don’t often even see me– they believe what they want to believe and I get lost in the mystery of who are we talking about?
You know, I’ve always been gentle; no one gets hurt because the only pain that lurks around me gets buried in laughs and pulled-down shirts, because no one besides me deserves to gain new scars.
You know, I’ve always been […]
Let me tell you something: if you notice something I’ve done, if it’s not great, if you see a flaw a misstep a mistake
I probably caught it too, and I’m using it as an excuse to escape
Into old habits and unfriendly thoughts, bad methods and frequent haunts, and let me tell you something: it’s a long way down from where I am.
Let me tell you something: if I’m hurting you’ll know, but you’ll brush it off like I do because I will have my glow as camouflage
And I won’t blame you for mistaking the inferno of an implosion for sunshine, because really
But you’re just like every sorry fuck’n **** I’ve ever met! Yeah that’s right…all your friends warned you about me but you had to be curious. .you just had to find out for yourself and what did you get?
You sit there and play on my every insecurity but HAA.. guess what? They’ve been there longer than you and they will always be mine! Just like you will always be mine… HEY!! Are you listening?? Fuck you..don’t walk away from me!!
You want to talk about things that are a dime a dozen.. well I’m 3 down in a row of 56.5 minus this shit […]
What point is there? As I get older, everyone splits off into couples and I sit here like a fucking lonely moron. I don’t want to date anyone, I want to be surrounded by my “friends” who can’t wait to ditch you every chance they get for a significant other (or simply someone better). I’ve been off my mood stabilizers and antidepressants for about 3 weeks now, but I’m thinking of starting up my mood stabilizers again because it is unbearable to deal with this constant fucking oscillating range of emotions. I think I’ll just submerge myself in as many drugs and mind alternating substances […]
Anyone else noticing all of the newer people with amazing taste in music? 40 days. ICantDrownMyDemons. Sickfromthemelt. Yeah. You guys are fucking awesome. Just putting that out there.
It’s been a rough night. My anxieties are getting the best of me again and I’m not sure how to handle it. Work sucked. But Friday nights always do. I don’t know what’s eating me today. Will someone please buy me food and tell me I’m pretty? >_<
We all gotta do something to raise our own confidence because the lack there of is purely our minds own doing. Some distract themselves, some eat, some play dress up and some crave attention.. well that last one is me. My confidence is in constant flux..always in tune one minute and gone the next minute. Sometimes I really give no shit that I do things purposely to gain attention. One thing my confidence never shatters is certainty in my physical appearance. I feel that I am half gone in my sanity but still a decent looking dude. So I’ve decided to sit pool side for […]
I have spent most of my life from the age of 15 in regret getting kicked out my family home and falling into drugs. Always being left by a girl from someone els, or just just being a second choice. Have never been able to hold down a job and always making mistakes and leading myself into trouble and being stuck alone with none to talk to.
I am coming to a point where i dont want to live anymore, i want it all over.. but i am afraid..
Everyone sees me so so happy and keep my chin up though the hard times, but i am […]
So, I just started a new job… I took it for several reasons:
a) I earn 300 euro more compared to before and could depending on my performance boost this with another 60% of my total salary… But this is just money. I hate it.
b) Maybe it is the same as the above as I am currently in dept more or less… because of the drugs. I actually took the job (partly) so that I could support this lifestyle, while thinking I would be able to make my life more stable with a 9 till 5 job rather then one in which my hours […]
I don’t often post on forums or anywhere online. I’ve always kept everything to myself. I don’t really do any sharing about myself, to anyone. I don’t like drawing attention to myself. I’m not very social, I don’t like to go out. Being out and around others makes me incredibly tense and anxious. Even over the phone, or texts, facebook, email, etc. I just dont like people I guess. I have one person I love and care about. I don’t really have close friends, I’ve been estranged and was banished from my family for about a decade.
I grew up with an adoptive family who appeared […]
I’m not new to this site I’ve been here before on a different account. I left because I thought I got better. But today I just kind of broke down and I don’t know why. My sister is graduating from highschool I’ll be a junior next year. It all hits me pretty hard because I’ve never really had any friends so id always hang out with her. And this year I talked to some of her friends which I’ve even considered to be my friends but I don’t think they feel the same way. Anyway I just want to say I’m a piece of shit […]
I’m so spiritually confused. I’m trapped with no car, and hardly any money. I impulsively spend the small amount of money I have in my bank account. I am just, trapped. Exhausted. I’ve lost all creativity. All my passion has been drained. I constantly feel as if I’m being watched, judged. Always aware of my thoughts. Drained. No eye contact. No smile. Violent thoughts. I’m so sick. I need my God again.
Why does no one want me? Why do my friends always leave me? Why does no females like me? Am I doomed to live my life completely alone? What am I doing wrong? Is it me? Or are people ignorant assholes? I’m not perfect, no one is. I have flaws such as every other human does, but not so much that no one should like me…what is so wrong with me? It’s been like this my whole twenty years of existence and it just keeps getting worse every day. I don’t want to live a lonely loveless life, I want joy. I want to experience […]
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