hi ..I always feel lonely and unloved Im always afraid to try new things I always feel nervous when there’s a new event in my life it feels like I will do some mistakes again ..and I can’t think of any positive things maybe because of too many bad things happened to me when I was a kid ..I’m always bullied by my classmates and there’s no one like me because they said I’m ugly. even my mother and father always saying that I’m ugly and I’m just a thrash in their lives ..that’s really hurtful when it comes to your own family that your […]
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Hey .. I have spent a long time on this site and its pretty cool .. a lot of warm, nice people that care for each other even though we have never seen each other in real life.. It’s really nice to see that.. I am pretty good to make people feel better but I have my downfalls too.. but here is my story: it may not be as bad as some out here but its to much for me to deal with.. : I feel alone. I look around always and I see groups of friends laughing having fun enjoying themselves or […]
I live for drugs and guitar, though that’s probably a really bad thing. All my friends always tell me off for my drug use but I don’t care, I love it. I used to live for other people but I somehow stopped caring about them as much as i did.
Everyday seems to blur by in a nonsensical motion that keeps me forever sick and tired. With each passing, I come to the realization that this life isn’t good enough. Living is just not good enough. It’s been that way for years now.
I can’t grasp as to why no one around me feels this way.
I see all these drunken smiles float by, while I still let myself believe my feet are firmly on the ground. I know they’re not. I feel myself falling more and more. I think of killing myself everyday now. My razor is always close by. I just want to […]
We all have that one person or problem we try to forget about but we can’t. It weighs on us like a ton of bricks. We do things to try and make ourselves forget but we will never forget. No matter how hard we try to not let it get it to you, it will always stick with you. Am I right?
Like right now there’s this one person that will not get out of my mind. All the memories we had together and how I messed up. I try to forget all the time. I cant explain how much it hurts..
I will miss being held by those who love me.
I will miss watching cow parsley swaying in the breeze.
I will miss songs that remind me of those who left me.
I will miss the smell of warm rain, small rabbits, dandelions and daisies.
I will miss helping those who need me.
I will rest in peace, knowing I brought more joy than pain to the world.
Although I regret the harsh words I sometimes spoke, especially to those who hurt me.
I hope my death does not take long, I don’t want to suffer or have people watch me suffer.
I wanted death a couple of months ago. Then I found a […]
Hi
I wrote a poem to my mother and I will give it to her 31 may on mother’s day.
I’m planning to suicide the next day. I have waited to suicide just because i wanted to be there for my mom on mothers day. It will be the last time.
I just want to know what you think of the poem. Any improvements? There’s a hidden message as you can see. I hope she wont be suspicious? She doesnt know im suicidal.
This will be the last thing i do before I die so no suicide letter. If you wonder why it’s because if I fail I don’t […]
Im over it over everything im always either angry, crying or numb i cant go a day without drinking i dnt want too being sober makes it harder to face the fact that im worthless and have every reason to kill myself i try to talk myself out of it but each time i feel like im closer im just so tired of crying and hurting all the time things dnt get any better. 21 years and they only get worseim not sure how much longer i can take this or if i want to try anymore. Its time i accepted that soon […]
I honestly have stopped caring about what anybody has to say about me . I plan on leaving soon I’m doing my best at enjoying my last days ( but of course I am not) my mom has been rubbing my mistakes in my face and she’s really just making this living hell. I am really not close with my siblings or father because I am 17 and under 18 I can not do as I please. This last year I have been in the hospital twice for suicide attempts and I have been a rebel with my mom …. She tries to control […]
I began to cut again . Six fucking months clean . I didn’t realize how much better it makes me feel. What led me to start again, well the numbness I feel inside, I want to feel something. I fucking hate it here and the constant reminder of how I am no good or that I Should kill myself. My friends always say they will there for me but when I need them where are they to be found ? So that is why i say fuck everyone and fuck and fuck what people think, i don’t want to hear it, I am sick and […]
ssI’ve gotten to the point to where my head hurts when ever I get even the slightest depressed It hurts so much I can’t stand it. My biggest wish is to be happy. I want a family and kids My girlfriend made me promise I wouldn’t hurt myself. She use to selfharm but she stopped when we started living together and she realized that I cut alot and she wanted us to get better together but its hard for me I don’t want to let her down but when she gets upset I get depressed.. She’s all I have like my mind is so damage […]
I read all the web and got plenty of advice. I know there’s always hope and all the stuff, but I think it straight to it and my decision is that I HAVE TO go. Please don’t tell me not to, with all due respect I will ignore the post.
I would like to know a way to day that is easy to commit. Cutting my veins isn’t easy, not because of the pain but because it takes a lot of effort fighting my instinct. My body does not want to die. I am a 26 yo male, perfectly healty, weight 80 kg and I am […]
I thought about suicide again today. The pill bottle was in my reach. All I had to do was grab it and walk to my room, but I didn’t. While I was walking by all I could think was “Life is worth living. You have to live.” Now I know I should have done it. The pain I feel everyday is like a whole getting bigger and bigger. It feels like someone is scraping the inside of my chest out. I just get so angry and I try to calm down. There is this method my Mom told me about. She always said “Count to […]
Why do people have to be so mean. Every time i let someone in they always have to hurt me. I hate it how people always say they there gonna be there for me and once they see that i really do care about them they just leave. I just wanted a friend but they eventually just leave, but then they say life is worth living. i just want that oe person who will say they wont leave and then they do. my mom prefers weed ad meth so she’d set me away to my step dads who loves going to the bar. But i […]
I am miserable inside, its getting harder and harder to wear a smile on my face because there is always that little voice in my head telling me “your not happy!!!!????”
I just really hate my life… waking up is the worst, coming to a job where you are always on the outside and useless.
My friend tells me I should be happy I have a job… I can see her point but it’s life I have such hatred against, not a job or finances. It’s waking up, breathing, not existing, being eternally hopeless, eternally saddened by things that make others happy or normal… everything hurts and is negative. There’s no “thing” or “sunny day” to change the bleakness of everything in every waking second.
If I were cut out to be here I’d have figured it out […]
Lost and confused…
Im not quite sure what’s wrong with me. I have been struggling with certain “awkwardness” issues my whole life, and have been extremely depressed for about the last year or so. I now feel helpless, I feel like all this struggle is pointles, and I have found myself contemplating suicide on the daily now.
I have always been known as the quite guy and have never been much of a social butterfly. It is hard for me to make new friends or to work up the courage to even call the ones I already have. Its like I have a deep fear of having […]
Well, it’s not getting any easier. Everyday seems to be more and more challenging. I think I’m at the end of my rope. Everyone just keeps saying time with heal everything, and it’s becoming a very annoying phrase to hear. Everyday I question my existence. I’ve wrote my not last week while at work. I’m leaving it in my box for access when I’m gone. I want to scream out for help so bad, but I know I can’t. It seems like a act for attention to most people. I’ve really only told one person that I considering it. And once again, I get told […]
I only come to this website when I’m feeling down
and that’s ok because I know it will pass eventually
but it also sucks because I know that it will also come back like always.
It’s just a bummer to be doing something and then have the horrible thoughts come into your head. You don’t want them there but they stick around anyway, making everything miserable.
Anyway, that’s all.
I hope you all have a good day, stick in there you guys.
I went driving. Thinking “how fast do i need to drive into this tree to kill me and cash.” [cash is my dog by the way] What kept running through my head was my baby. I cant leave him but i don’t have the heart to kill him.
I shoulda drove off the road that night.
Its hard to fight depression man. Its like it creeps up and takes over. And im doin what im supposed to but when im alone, my mind wonders. I get sad. I have thoughts. I hate bein alone.
I got my whole world wrapped up in a dog. When […]