that is the day i decide it is over or i decide to move on with my life and hope its better. that is either my last day or the continuation of my life. i dont know which yet. some times im like “hell yeah, ill keep living” then most others are like “can it just all be over now?” i think i might try to keep a journal or something with a list. a list of all the reasons i should kill myself and a list of all the reasons i should stay alive. maybe thatll help me come to a decision at the […]
So last night i almost started crying multiple times in public, but no one noticed. i went to my old high schools band concert because i was in band so i know the majority of upperclassmen in the band. i wanted to see them perform and i missed their winter concert because of a car accident. a main reason for my going was to see him. to see the guy who made me realize someone gave a shit about me over a year ago. hes the main reason for my being alive right now and back in november i told him about my depression. hes […]
Great song from an awesome band.
Also a clue. To/for what? Who knows. Wayne Static was a pretty awesome fellow….
In the led zepplin cover band. I hope he is okay too!. I think its so cool to make zepplin music even so just drumming. I hope he’s good. I missed the whole problems thAT arose with the discussion. But i do hope we can work it out. TOGETHER!
I have a huge crush on one guy from school for, like, forever now.. New country and new school was a rough start for me, but when I saw him for the first time, everything slowed down, my heart stopped and my brain freeze. His eyes are pale gray and when he looks at me I feel as if he is burning through my soul right out. It hurts my bones to see him, for a moment each time I see him I get a strange stabbing sensation all over my body. I am a pain addict in general, I don’t like self harm, but […]
Sorry this is so long, but I’m so confused and heartbroken right now. I need advice/opinions.
This past weekend was a party at a friend’s house. MC (my friend that I love so deeply and can’t get over) was there, but I felt OK. I was OK when people were talking to J (MC’s fiancé) about what wedding dress she going to buy. Just to be safe though, I avoided MC. But after awhile it felt childish to be talking to everyone but him. So I said hello and we joked around a little. He was in a great mood, but he kept putting his face and hands very close […]
I challenge you, suicide project, to give me your best band references. Example: This is for all you rock and rollers, crash queens, and motor babies. Good luck!
*From left to right; Xiumin (EXO-M), Luhan (EXO-M), Kris (EXO-M), Suho (EXO-K), Lay (EXO-M), Baekhyun (EXO-K), Chen (EXO-M), Chanyeol (EXO-K & my 2nd bias), D.O. (EXO-K & my 3rd bias), Tao (EXO-M & my bias), Kai (EXO-K) and Sehun (EXO-K & maknae)
*Luhan and Kris left the group last year (2014).
*EXO-K promotes in Korea, while EXO-M promotes in China.
My life has gotten better. I’m not sure if I’m still depressed but I can say I’ve been pretty happy these past few weeks. I’m not gonna lie, though. […]
I am 18 years old im not posting this for any other reason than to just do it, my lifes not always been easy but its not always been hard either ill admit that however all my life I’ve had bi polar schizophrenia I didn’t know about this till very recently and well my familys abandoned me they lied threw me out hell my moms a special ed teacher and well I never knew how hard this was going to be but I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 I rehabilitated and focused on positives it was ok till I was thrown out […]
man I relate so much to this song. anyone know of this band?
i feel so disappointed with myself. i have completed nothing in my life. im not good at anything not art not band nothing at all and it freaks me out. just thinking of what i have to do just to be an adut i feel so lazy for a long life
So today I met a guy really sweet and generous he went thru the same things that I have has the same things as me and we got along really well that guys in a band and going to the urban fest I can’t wait to see him again he has that guy has burn scars yet hes helping the outcasts in ways he could never imagine and I feel so glad to call him a ftiend that guy didnt say his name yet when we met next time ill update this that guy has a wonderful personality and everythings I am happy for him […]
Hi guys I’m back my computer broke and I got a new phone so here I am how are you guys and also been busy with the band
where may I go to go transform. into the golden metallical.
what nebulous smite can our hell bring.
how do we escape at the level zero. but then it’s just me.
karma here does not exist in my land. battalion of true hell.
or go fuck yourselves.
there is only one path. I understand.
I am, that I am. i have no heart. cut.
see with your eye, my hell.
the dragon. the boar. the dog. the monkey.
all dead.
i must escape ground zero.
take me. direct me. then leave me.
guiding star. that could be a plan.
then hopefully maybe if, in our other saging […]
Lie in a bed of white, buried in cotton
Feeling empty, lost and hopelessly forgotten
Prescription bottles on the nightstand
Next to a rusted wedding band
Half-empty champagne glasses litter the floor
And there’s no where to turn anymore
So you climb into the bathtub and clutch the blade
Hoping that the voices in your head will fade
Everything that ever mattered slips away
And you engrave all the words that you couldnt say
As blood trickles down your legs, you cry
Because finally, you feel alive
I love all kinds of music. However there’s few songs that grab hold and this is one. I could die listening to this. Â (Not that I am, just saying)
So what would your last song be?
So I guess I’m staying alive… For her. I told her about it and she started freaking out (which is normal) and made me promise I wouldn’t kill myself. What made me agree though, was that she started crying when she realized, if I did kill myself after the next band concert, we would have less than 10 days. And she doesn’t cry in front of people so that was a big gigantic sign that she cares. So I’m stayin’ alive
I’m probably going to kill myself tomorrow. The anxiety is getting too much for me to handle and I can’t do it anymore. I live day to day but now that life is trying to get me to move beyond that, I simply cannot follow. I’d rather die instead than live with this pain. Physical and emotional.
I love my boyfriend so much, I love my friends but they have to understand that I just cannot keep living anymore. What’s the point of trying to continue when all it does it just get worse and worse. Like what was said in Prozac Nation, people are supposed […]
As a child, and indeed as a teenager, and even now, I’m mostly a loner. I never really sought out the company of other people, for whatever reason; and having a disability that carries lots of myths that people actually believe hasn’t really helped with friends. In elementary school, I quite clearly remember being lumped in with a group of people with learning disabilities, with the premise that I could make friends with other “disabled†people. Being nine or so, it didn’t bug me much; indeed at the time it did seem like a nice gesture. But, as I said, I’m […]