So, I know I’m a terrible person to people I honestly hate, but as for the people who I try to be nice to and care for… WHY CAN’T YOU SPEND FIVE FUCKING MINUTES WITH ME. I really don’t understand how hard it is just to get off an Xbox, or take a few minutes after you get off work, or a simple moment when you get out of school just to talk to me or hang out with me. I mean…. I actually TRIED with you. Even after I gave up on everyone else, I stuck with YOU. Not him or her, not the […]
So done with you. Instead of just filing a customer complaint you decide to hound me down with personal insults? At least I won’t have to deal with this when I’m dead. Which is soon if all goes to plan and I can thank the school who gave me this ptsd for starting it, and you for finishing it.
Fuck this. Fuck you. ****.
This is my 17th year on Earth. I honestly didn’t expect to make it this far, and yet, I have. Over the past couple of years I have tried so many times to get help, sometimes it helps for a little while but I still end up back in the same horrible place. I’m at the point now where I don’t believe that there is any hope for me and I’ve accepted that. I just want to get everything that needs to be done before I die done, that is why I am writing this. I haven’t really shared my story before, I don’t even […]
I’m so ugly. So fat. I can’t help but feel naked without my make up on. I feel ashamed to go out in public. Like people will laugh at me and call me names. I feel bad for people who have to look at me all the time, I’m sorry. I’m 5’4 and 173 pounds, I’m huge. I need to stop eating my feelings. Why does everyone have to be so mean though? I’m so nice to everyone else and all I get in return is getting called emo, slut, whore, fatass, ****… like what the fuck man? And then my friends parents accuse me […]
Yes it’s upside down
You can’t see them well but there closer to the camera
Hey guys my names Scott and I’m 12
heres my story
It started  half way through year 5  I just moved schools and I didn’t fit it I was different
im now in year 8 and I have bottled it all […]
I’ve been cutting since 7th grade. In 7th grade is when I first got bullied, some girl called me ugly, I told her off, she got her friends to go kick my ass blah blah blah. I dropped out half the year and decided homeschooling would be better for me, but no. It got worse, it lead to cyber bullying. I went back in 8th grade thinking it would actually be better since new people will come in, it was actually way worse than the year before. Rumors went around and what not. I left half that year also. During that summer, I made a […]
I loved you, I loved you so so much, but I could just never tell you, I wanted to keep you as my friend and I tried, I tried so hard to keep my friend. I always try so hard with you and I just can’t do it anymore, you don’t understand how much it’s hurting me that you don’t even acknowledge the effort I make, it might not seem like much but it’s hard for me to just let go, but i’m trying but I just don’t even see why anymore babe. I’m sick of of you throwing me aside for what you consider […]
swearing helps yr.tolerance for pain physical or emotional explains alot. i love getting my frustrations out through writing. cheryl from wendys yr and old.ugly.masculin twofaced ****. mary who is debatable “nicer” is a crater faced ***** enthusiist who loves grease! she acts all friendly to the customers and then to you shes overcompansatingly mentaly sedistic with her “intimidating manner” s this **** loves being incharge. i sentence her to get her eyes poked out while getting it up the ass by cheryl. these two lowlife useless pussys can rot in hell while going thru what i had to endure […]
murder.
you killed me.
murder.
bleed, bleed.
murder.
Is it funny now.
murder.
knock me to the ground.
murder.
am I still a slut.
murder.
80 lbs. is fat now.
murder.
am I still a ****?
murder.
Missing her makes me a ****** now?
murder.
yes I know i’m crazy. I’ve heard it before.
murder.
Yes I know I should die. you’ve said it before.
murder.
I don’t know why I’m still here.
murder.
Give me a gun and I’ll dissapear.
murder.
is it funny now?
murder.
seeing me life drained on the ground.
murder.
Did it satisfy.
looking at my cuts, watching me cry.
It’s so sad.
How she died.
It’s so sad.
She put up a good fight.
It’s so sad.
Those words you said.
They never left the back of her head.
When she cried they’d float to the front.
Stupid. Ugly. Worthless. ****.
Was making her hurt that much fun?
It’s so sad.
How she had hope.
It’s so sad.
Cause’ that hope was you.
It’s so sad.
You turned your back.
When they hurt her you just laughed.
Stupid. Ugly. Worthless. ****.
You hurt her and she’s gone.
It’s so sad.
How I cared.
It’s so sad.
I thought life was fair.
but everyone who comes, always […]
How does it feel? Your brother sees the cuts on your wrist. The scars on your thighs. He tells your sisters and parents. Now everyone knows. Months later… Your brother tells you to stop being so mad ” This is getting old. Nobody gives a shit. Deal with it. Emo” Then your sisters… ” Stop being so mean to people. They did nothing to you.” NOTHING? HUH. Thats why i have bruises from Dad. Thats why mom use to yell at me for trying to make new friends. HOW DOES IT FEEL? They are the reason i’m this way… Then there is people at school. […]
Let’s see. 4 years. 4 years ago was the first time I took a blade to my own wrist. And now here I am, barely a teenager and I want to die for the millionth time. Whenever something bad happens I automatically think; “let’s save that for later, you can rid the tainted blood with one trip to your special drawer”. But sometimes, sometimes it isn’t enough. Sometimes I just have a thousand thoughts running through my head, all of the bad things that have happened and keep happening. Hey, your antidepressants make you cold all the fucking time. Your dad is never here and […]
I always make schedules.
According to my schedule I had to have readen all three books I needed to read for the two exams I had. According to my schedule I had to finish them last friday. Which was possible if I wasnt just a complete ****.
I already decided to do only one exam because I thought that would be easier and I would at leats get to finish reading for 1 subjct. And I cant. I cant get to finish it. And its not even that hard.
According to my schedule I was supposed to start studying an hour ago. And I didnt do it. Because […]
Since I can never manage to kill myself during a manic episode I figured setting a date would make things much easier.
Still didnt really decide between hanging or jumping in front of the train yet. I am forever in doubt about everything.
It didnt really make things easier though.
Since I woke up this morning I felt weird. I felt this feeling of determination and at the same time doubt.
My mood has jumped from wanting-to-slice-my-own-throat-bad to happy. It seemed to happen more often than usual. I was pretty set on hanging. Then somewhere during the day my anxiety kicked in and I felt too low to go […]
Today was a relatively normal day as far as my life is concerned. I went to school, got on my friends bus and went shopping for halloween treats for the little kids that I teach during my work experience. Well the first turning even in the day was mum flipping out at  me coz I didn’t make it to the checkout in time with a jar of curry. this didn’t bother me much it’s typical, however it did cast a shadow over the great day it had been so far. Then I get home to my father watching countless traveller shows on telly.Stupid pathetic **** […]
Because Birthdays are supposed to be special, the make me feel more empty.
People always do nice things with their friends. I dont have anyone to do nice things with, even if I wanted.
The only people who have congratulated me were the ones here. That is just pathetic.
You would think there would be at least one person in my actual life that gives a shit.
In other news: my D-day is coming soon and I feel like I still need to do so much. But what? I mean really, there is not much I need to do before offing myself. I am a cowardly ****. If I […]
Hello everyone. I don’t understand my depression and often times I want to kill myself for being so goddamn fucking stupid and putting my boyfriend through hell. Me and my brother both have clinical depression. This isn’t something that can be fixed with just “positive thinking”. We need our anti-depressents. I hate to say the most cliche thing any depressed person could ever say but I really have always been a lonely person who never could hold a friendship. Kids wouldn’t tease me,They would belittle me. This isn’t what has made me depressed but this has shaped my lack of social skills. This world and […]
I don’t really see what else there is for me to do. I feel like all I ever do internally and out is apologize for the kind of person I am and the choices I’ve made. I feel like I should apologize for not being successful the last three times I tried to commit suicide, both to myself and to everyone who’s had to deal with me since those points.
It’s been made pretty much abundantly clear that I am the thing standing between my mother and her relationship. Her **** of a boyfriend is so pre-occupied with how much of a disappointment I am that […]
I’m freaking out. I want something to wake me up. I want somebody to notice my lies. I want somebody to realize that I’m destroying myself. I want people to realize that I’m not okay.
I want to stop lying to myself. I want to stop thinking that it’s not okay to feel. I want to be able to cry and not feel like an ungrateful ****, because sometimes I don’t want to exist.
I want to remember what it is to be happy. I want to be able to smile and not those half-assed smiles that make me hate myself, because I know it isn’t real. […]
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