I have literally lost everything – job, friends, house, boyfriend – and it’s all my fault. Living with my dad in the country now with no hope if getting a job. He has terminal cancer and I’m not even strong enough to help him. And I can’t feel anything at all. I can see no point in continuing living. I wish I could just dissolve into the air, but a bad death is coming for me soon, I just don’t know when.
Well let me begin from the beginning…I was born in Ukraine and moved here when i was four with my parents and my brother, i learned English and life was great even though we were poor. Then we moved to a little town with a little school and life gradually started getting worse by the day, we had financial problems and my mom went to school when I was in the 9th grade, so she was always stressed and she would put all her anger on my brother and I, but especially on me. I’ve always been on the heavy side, and always have been made fun of […]
My dad is depressed and I’m a little worried about him. I don’t know why I feel the fear I do of losing him to this depression but I am scared. The last two nights he has come home late and been drinking,, not hard liquor just beer, but if you knew my father, you’d know, before the depression he might of drank one beer every 7 to 8 months ( not exaggerating)  his depression has struck a cord in me and In worrying about him I kind of worry about myself. I don’t mean to sound selfish, because I am not but if suicide were on his mind and he went through with it (though […]
This past month ive had a relapse of depression. I was depressed as a kid (age 7-10) and now I’m depressed again (age 15). The reason for my relapse is frustration and stress at school with grades and such. It has escalated so quickly. I think of suicide most of the time. Today at school when i was walking in the hall i saw a sign out of the corner of my eye and one of the words read “Suicide” and did a double take and the word was gone. I guess i hallucinated. Anyway, i was never diagnosed with depression and i want to […]
Well, There was a boy and a girl, they’ve met once before about 6 years ago now, I believe, anyway they had lost contacted until last year when their friends had  told them about each other. Now, they started talking , and talking they both knew what they have been through and they both knew how they felt, if one was not happy the other one wasn’t well it toke a few months until they started dating, but when they dated, man were they cute, they did have there ups and downs but they go through it, until he had to move, his dad had died and his grandparents so he had to move somewhere far, they didn’t see each […]
so, today i felt like i had to write my suicide note because i was feeling really crappy.  i don’t know if  id ever do it, but i had the biggest urge to tonight. so here it is, just so i could tell someone.
mom, i love you and i always will. you were always there for me, always helped me with anything. but i dont think i could be helped this time. this was my own choice.
i have always wanted to leave. i was always forcing that smile and laugh, just so you thought i was happy. i was never happy. i don’t know […]
I got in a fight last night with my parents again. I’m a brat.. im a ***** the worst daughter in the world. I had a migrane cause my dad keeps FAILING to give me my meds on schedule and since theirs 22 of them starting and stopping them has major side affects. I fell asleep on the couch. After waking up at 11pm i stood up to fix the pillows. And my my mom snapped saying i needed to clean them and what not.
I told her i just got up to do that and […]
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My dad killed hisself. Everyone in y family has tried. I have otried a lot. Now I can’t stop cutting. Help me!
I put my heart and my soul
Into everything I write
You came here and you stole
And betrayed the copyright
From another site
(2 actually)
If you’re gonna cite word for word
At least have the nerve
To tell us you didn’t write it
But you keep on lying, you deny it
Makes me wonder if your life is
Half as bad as you claim
Im not here to ruin your highness
I’m not about any fame
I’m just being honest
And honestly I’m mad
How could you could lie this much
Who do you think you are, my dad?
Just be real with us and yourself
Hell, maybe you do need […]
I’m 12. Freaking 12. And I have a suicide note written.
When I was 11, I fell into a depression. I wasn’t quite sure why, I guess my parents pissed me off too much. I couldn’t go a day without crying. Sure, call me a crybaby.
It was too much stress. I had projects due, tests upcoming, essays my dad forced me to write. I hyperventilated at least five times.
One day, I was printing out another essay when my dad was yelling at me in the other room. I looked down and saw the printer cord…and then suicide popped into my mind. Why not?
I wrapped the cord around my […]
The thoughts are becoming fiercer, more vigorous, more overpowering.
It’s been four months since I started my therapy, yet I feel no change. Each month since I was diagnosed, I told myself that I had finally hit rockbottom. Each month I told myself that now there was no way other than up. Each month. March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.
I was wrong each time. It was never rockbottom. Every time I promised myself to try and get better and to make a true effort, something happened. Whether it was my mom driving me up against the wall with her hand around my […]
I am 20 and a student at stevens institute of technology for mechanical engineering. i dont know why i feel like this, it all started last year around christmas time. i began to feel very depressed but i treated it like everything else about me i dont like, i covered it up. It escalated over that semester and through the summer. now im in my third semester and im slipping to the point of failure in every class. if i dont pass all of these classes i will be asked to not return to the school, which is not an option. Ive pledged a fraternity and they […]
my name is Sammantha. i am nearly 20 years of age. ive been out of school for 2 years now working a dead end job. i was a straight A student in high school i wanted to go to school for zoology. it never happened. some where along the line i got scared i wouldnt be smart enought and instead of taking my SAT i took thr ASVAB and was just waiting till i was 18 ton enlist in the Army. finally the time came to do that and my mother who has cancer got sick again. i decidsd to stay back for a while. […]
When i made this cut i was scared. I had just traded an ounce of weed for a brand new box cutter, a kid bought me from home depot. Stupid i know i could have got it myself but with your dad watching you every moment of the day it was kinda hard. I said it was for protection.. protection from my thoughts.. but he gave it to me. No other questions ask even knowing my history.
I went home a couple days past and then me and my parents got in a huge fight. With […]
Those words..
They sting..
Worse then heartbreak? Actually, yeah.
And those words, there coming from my Dad.
“I don’t know boys you’ve been kissing.”
He wouldn’t let me drink out of his soda..
Yeah, it hurt. But I just laughed like it was a joke..
Nope, it wasn’t.
I lost my father 10 years ago at age 8 to a rare childhood bone cancer called Ewing’s Sarcoma… I’m now 18, in a good college, in honors and severely depressed. I’m overwhelmed and would kill to see him. I’ve started cutting, missed classes and feel so disconnected from everyone. Half the time I can’t feel and the other half I’m so overwhelmed with emotion I slide into panic attacks.
My counselor just says its normal college stuff but I can’t really open up to her, I barely open up to anyone. The worst part is the guilt that I feel this way. I know I […]
I’m 17 years old and my mom is getting remarried for the 3rd time in 3 days. I hardly know the guy. He’s moving into our home and i’m  not thrilled. step parents always try and act like they’re your own parents and it’s bullshit. My dad is the only one who understands me. ONLY one.  He’s on drugs as always, who knows where.  I’ve had depression and wanted to kill myself ever since summer after 5th grade. I still don’t know what caused it. Probably just the manic depression,anxiety and bipolar that runs in both sides of my family finally kicked in my system. […]
Ever since the incident a week ago I haven’t been normal. My dad got mad at me today for no reason. He broke a plate, I was so scared that he was going to hurt me…again…I know I need to get out but I have no where to go.
I made a break through though, at the time of his freak out I was video chatting with some friends and I told them what he did. The little voice in my head was wrong, they didn’t judge me or anything. I felt better afterwards.
School is the only place I truly feel safe, I love it there…
hi. well my name is zoe I’m 14 and I think I’m really depressed I’ve had emotional issues since I was in fifth grade but I haven’t ever told anyone about it. I’m a middle child in between two brothers. my dad neglects me and verbally abuses me while I think my mom is great. I hate my life so much and no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to find anything to do about it. I’m so scared that I’m going to end up killing myself cause that’s not what I want to happen. I cut myself on a regular basis and […]