My dad’s job makes us move around alot and i’ve finally had enough, I can’t take losing all my friends over and over again. I started cutting a while bck, after my grandad ahd died, and sme teachers noticed it and put me into counciling which helped for a while but then a teacher who was realli helping me deal with everythink, she wasn’t judging me or anythink like that but she seems to have forgotten about me and once again I’m left alone with no-oneto talk to no-one to lean on or nothink. I feel as if I’m invissible. My friends talk about me behind my […]
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Dad
She told me to get the rant out. Say all things that you keep telling yourself over and over quietly. Half of them, you won’t even mean or believe. Then talk to her. My mom. That’s all I ever want to do is sit down and talk to her. Have a conversation. In the past five years I’ve cut, made myself throw up, started smoking pot, drinking excessively and ending up in the hospital. I don’t know what I am doing or even why. I am impulsive like my father.
No one knows. My sister calls me psycho, I forgive her. But maybe I am. The […]
no one needs to read my sorrows. they have their own. but i need to spit all of my out. i play a lot of tennis. i play every day and work hard but i cant beat anyone. everyone keeps telling me that one day i will win and i have lots of talent. but i dont believe. my dad expects me to win. my parents like me the days i win in tournaments and play well but dont like me when i lose. they are constantly dissapointed. today i lost to a girl that i should have beaten and gotten yelled at. i think […]
I don’t no how to start but i am going to start by saying all of this pain i have is making it into suicide
~~I’m always home watching my brothers and never have any freedom to do what i want i never see my mom at home spend no day with us no more that hurt because we always used to hange out and have time to share anything with her when we need help or happy or sad or mad but not no more i keep it all to my self deep inside AND never tell no one it hurt to have to fake […]
I’ve always been afraid to talk about my suicidle thoughts that haunted me for years and years back,afraid of considered a crazy pothetic person with no beliefes and courage.
My parents were divorced when I was only 7 years old,it was hurrable and i was forced not to see her or even mention her name or say”mamy”for example,it’s all because of my dad,I had no relatives,my sister and brothers were all I have,could’t communicate with anyone in a normal way..still I am that way..
I got married to a sick man and had 2 wounderfull boys and after 7 years of merrage i am fighting for divorce […]
i posted here once before… but i did a really bad job of explaining… i basically told what has happened to me, but thats not really all that needs to be said….. its just frustrating when you want to die, you are hurting so much, and the people you turn to just start blaming themselves and apologizing…. its also really stressful when you have to help the two closest people in your life go through the exact same thing as you, and see them suffer like you do. i think i die a little bit inside whenever one of them begs me to let them […]
I’ve thought about committing suicide for the past year of my life. I’ve thought about cutting my wrists but have decided that would be too bloody and painful. I’ve thought about jumping in front of a Semi, but then I couldn’t do it because of the compassion I felt for the poor sorry bastard driving the truck. I’ve thought about shooting myself, but the only guns in the house belong to my dad, and I sure as hell am not dying by embedding one of his bullets in my brain; he got me here in the first place, and I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he has succeeded in killing me […]
in responce to that first comment on my last blog (sorry about the spelling): i didnt mean for it to sound like i was competing, or even to insinuate that this is, somehow a competion. just that i got the feeling that my last post was being pooh- poohed as unimportat. any way. i cant talk to my friend (we’re 17), thats really the whole problem, i dont know how to express my self (hense competition thing), i either underestimate the whole situation, and then people dont belive me, or i go ott, and end up getting really defensive.Â
i cant talk to my mum or dad, […]
Ok a lot of people may think i’m pathetic because i’m only 15 and i am already thinking about suicide… well i just don’t know what to do, i’m pretty much never happy i have so many bad memories in my past that i cant let go of… Up until about 2 years ago i always thought suicide was just an easy way out of things because that’s what my uncle did was take the easy way out of his problems by taking his life.
I now understand why some people think that is their only option, if you think you have nothing to live for then […]
ok. last post was a little vague i guess.
i was sexually abused when i was 6 till i was about 7/8 ish, by some boys in my primary school. (i’m a girl). I am absoulutly terified of people touching me now, anywhere. i csnt really get close to peoplr, obviously i have trust issues. when i get upset, depressed – i cant talk to anyone, my friend gets really anoyed and angry. she says i act like a spoilt brat, and i make her think we’re not really best friends. i told her about what happened to me. doesnt really look like she took it […]
A couple days ago I started to write one thing on here. I thought that it would get it out of my mind for a bit. Before I knew it, five hours had gone by and I had no clue. The house could have burned down and I would have never known. I realized I was also no place close to finishing it. It made me realize how caught up in my thoughts I am. How much of the world have I missed? I mean, I can’t possibly see it all, but what has been going on?!!?!
I am almost 18. According to my parents and the […]
Hello there. My name’s Jessica. My age, ill say is under an adult, by far. Any ways, im here to tell you. if there is any listeners. i suppose not. but i will go on. im at quite a young age, and im very depressed. i was led to fall in love with this amazing girl. yes, girl. and she played to love me bakc for a while, and i had to sit there and watch her get like 3 different boy friends and after each one crushed her i was there to lean on for a bit. and that was that. i got so […]
hi, this is the second time I write, last time I wrote “wanna die”. I still wish I’d just die. just fall over, dead…. I’ve promised a friend of mine that I’ll live untill school starts again, and now I regret. a promise is a promise, can’t break it. my life is spiraling downwards… had to break up with my boyfriend. know it sounds ridiculus, but I’ts true. just realised I was still so in live with the one who dumped me.. he really is’nt even a good person, but I still love him… he know that he ruined the rest of my life whwn […]
I look back at my life and I realize there a lot of things that have happened in my life and I’m not sure why. My dad left us. I had a childhood infatuation with a boy who liked my best friend. MY grandpa fell sick. Mom and I moved back in with Dad, and Dad is always trashing me, telling me ot b more useful. MY grandpa died. I got addicted to cutting. I tried swallowing too many pills. I tried drugs. I survived. I fell in love with a guy who liked another. He now tells me not to trust anyone, after I […]
So much has happened to you.  How can you explain it all? I would be talking gibberish if I went through that.
One thing I have learned from my life is that the more bad stuff we have to explain, the less sense we make. People tune it out. They are looking to “fix” our problems and when it gets beyond “fixable”  they tune it out.
Sweetie, go to the Mayo’s clinic.
There is one in Rochchester, Minnesota,  and one in Rockchester , New York.
The Mayo’s clinic is the best.  They will fix you. smile
If your insurance won’t pay, well, then ask for donations.  Ask and you will […]
I’ve suffered from post tramatic stress disorder for the past 13 years of my life. And only 2 of those years, I’ve acually been getting some suport through councelers and meds. I’m 19 and I live with my only friend in the world. I have no family and no other friends to support me. I’m broke, job-less and running out of time. For the past month, I have been applying and dropping off resumes everyplace close by, and still I am waiting. I owe my friend and his brother $325.00 for rent and bus pass money. If I don’t get a job soon, I’ll be […]
right now i’m seventeen, theres been so many changes and events in my life leading to my current state tht i doubt i’ll write all of them here, or remember them all, still, there are some main reasons i have never been able to overcome.
i remember when i was about seven years old and i met this girl who was also seven, she was beautiful even then, i loved her from the moment i saw her, as stupid as that might sound considering i was just a seven yearold, still she lived very far away, so i wouldnt usually get to see her, and still i […]
My life all went down hill when i was 13. My dad married my stepmother and she looked at me if I was cinderella. I was told to do everything in the house and when I was finished I was sent to my room. About that time is when I started writing in my Journals and just giving up in life. When I turned 14 on my birthday my dad and I got in a huge fight. He blamed everyones problems on me and he told me hes going to kill himself because of me. That day is when I tried killing myself for the […]
People used to tell me not to cry for someone, for they are not worth your tears. The one who was worth your tears would have never made you cry. I didn’t believe in that sh*t. I met this person, and fell madly in love with him because of how kind and caring he was. I was certain we would always be together, because we always talked about getting married and having kids. Mind you, I’m 16, and he’s 18. So yes, we were young. But I loved him. While we were together, I was constantly getting bombed by my all too perfect stepmother about […]
MY STORY
By Kelli Pedrick-Karlton
Written in 2009, a little over a year after my Dads suicide…
Late one January morning in 2008, I fell asleep on the sofa, something I rarely did and haven’t done since. The kids were all over me and the house as I slept, but I managed to get a good nap in. I was awaken to my house phone ringing, then my cell phone ringing, again the house, again the cell. I thought it was my younger sister wanting me to cut my nephews hair. I […]