I’m not entirely sure what I’m thinking by posting this. I’ve kept to myself for all this time, no one is going to read this, and no one on here cares anymore than anyone around here. I mean, people say the words, but they don’t really mean them. You can hear, “I DO care about you!” but as soon as they say that, they’re off doing something else. But I guess if I’ve come this far, if I typed the words on the search engine that led me to this website, if this really is some low blow at getting suicidal people reported, whatever the reason […]
Tag:
Depression
i’m 23 years old. my birthday is on the 13th and i keep thinking……..maybe i won’t make it til then. i’m a single mother of 2 kids. it’s definitely hard……but looking at how perfect they are makes everything worthwhile. i feel guilty for the way i feel. i never feel like i’m good enough. i hate myself so much that it’s hard for me to find the good in anyone else. i didn’t have a really horrible childhood. but when i was 8 my mom told me that my dad wasn’t really my dad….he was my step dad and my “real” dad lived in california. […]
I have been depressed for almost 2 years now. I told my aunt that I was depressed about 1 year ago. The reason why I’m depressed will take me to long to explain, so if your wondering why, check the post that says: “Wishing, Waiting, Dieing”. Anyway, she took me to see a consular a couple of days after I told her how I felt. At that first meeting I was told that if I wasn’t better within the next month, I would be put on a depression pill. A month goes by, nothing. Another month goes by, nothing. I start to let the pain […]
It’s been 6 years of an undiagnosed, untreated progressive depression.
The Stages:
Stage one just started with deep thinking. What we all go through, what is life worth? who loves me? what would the world be like if i’m dead, etc.
Stage two became mind over matter. This is the point beyond sadness. Cutting never hurt, it was just a way to wake up into reality again, to start feeling again, even it was just sadness.
Stage three was my addiction. I became addicted to cutting as it would relieve me of the emptiness. Cutting eventually stopped working (it works like pain killers, my body developed a tolerance), […]
I will make this quick because I’m preparing to die any minute. I’ve become so fed up with the world—with all the people who said they’d be there for me when I needed them. I’ve fought with depression for years and its finally got the better of me. I sit here writing this feeling myself drift in and out of consciousness after taking 12 Oxycodon pills and slitting my wrist and I’m kind of upset I’m getting blood all over my keyboard. The love of my life doesn’t love me, isn’t that a pity party everyone goes through? Only I’m not sure people truly understand […]
Every time I get a real good feeling about the right woman, I get shot down. Its always been “Your nothing”, “You don’t deserve her”, and such. And i’m really ready to just end my life. There’s no point in love or my life, im sick and tired of amounting to nothing. Being nothing is all I’ve ever been and all I ever will be. Every love has been a big f%#@ing dud, a flat line, another piece of me I just give away. I’ve been in this path of hate for 8 years now. And all its been is hate, anger, and depression. I see no point in […]
Ever since my mom died when i was 14 i’ve been depressed. I was a momma’s girl, i slept in the bed with her till i was 12. Alot of things happened to me as a child. My father left when i was 3 and I was molested by a friend of the family when i was 8. I remember being really shy as a child and scared of everyone and everything. I was constantly teased by my older sisters for being so cringy and i’d cry. Then one friday morning, after fighting a long battle of breast cancer, my mother died in her bedroom. When she died noone even acknowledged my presence. […]
I think I am suicidal. Â I’m not really sure, because I’m not sure of anything anymore. Â I don’t want to hurt myself or be in pain or punish myself. Â I just don’t want to feel like this anymore. Â It is getting increasingly unbearable, and I don’t know what to do.
I was almost murdered in October by gun violence (it was a very close call), and I have since been diagnosed with depression and PTSD. Â I have never been a depressed person in my life, ever. Â I just read on a website I found that PTSD can cause suicidal feelings, and I do feel a tiny […]
I have a big problem telling fantasy from reality. And no i don’t there are like fairy puff princesses everywhere. i just had a really horrible friend that she ended up using me, and so it was fake but all the while i thought we were truly friends. That was one of many things that has lead me into deep depression, i cut, burn, and think about killing myself… there’s a lot more to the story, but i cannot go there, because i cannot come to terms with the past… i am fifteen the only boyfriend i have ever had dumped me because it was […]
Hey everyone…..I’m 19 years old this year, and I’m a gay boy.
Being gay isn’t easy at all as I’ve always been the black sheep..if you know what I mean…I have always tried my best to fit in with the people around me, and I’ve succeeded in adapting, as I’ve always done my best to ignored myself as a gay and being different from everyone around me.I was in a state of denial.
Everything was going pretty fine for myself socially I suppose..Until I started to go through the pressures of relationships and the like.I’m at a total loss here….my friends are all getting into relationships and what […]
I am new to this site and not sure how it works. I am hoping to find people who understand and do not judge. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for a few years. My family gets frusterated with me so I choose not to talk about how I am feeling with them. The last few weeks I have been very anxious due to the fact I have been in alot of pain and have to have shoulder surgery in three weeks. That will put me out o work for 4 to 6 weeks, just before my youngests graduation, and all of you that […]
most of the time i think about dying.. but occasionally i do have those moments where i don’t want to die.. i want to live.. that life really is short and i want to have amazing experiences in my life.. i want to be happy.. i want to feel normal.. i dont want my life to end by killing myself.. i want to know what it’s like to feel inspired, motivated.. and not be consumed with suicidal thoughts, depression, and constantly telling myself im not good enough.. im trying to hold on to what i really want.. but i just dont know how im ever […]
when is it okay to die?
First of all, i’m beyond grateful for this site, it has seriously shown me how many people are going through the same stuff I am. Obviously you don’t have to read this, but, i need to write it. I may never go on this site again or check it, but i need to let my soul just spill. I grew up in a Christian home my whole life. My father was a missionary and my mother is/was a seriously strong christian. Recently, i’ve been going through serious depression. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’ve just been a zombie. I’ll come home from school […]
I’ve been this way for years now. Antisocial. Never the popular guy. Kind of a hermit, I keep to myself. I’ve dealt with depression and feelings of suicide before, but they eventually went away. In the last year though, I’ve really gone back downhill. I’m living alone and I lost by job back in December. That kind of deflated me. For the last year, I’ve been employed for maybe five or six months and for the rest of the time I’ve been jobless. Nothing inspires me. Any job I ever work is thankless and uninspiring and I find myself depressed even when I DO have […]
Okay so I was reading some post people made about the people who write on this website. I can’t stand people that judge. Who call us sick. A big part of my depression is genetics, so I can’t help it. I know there are people who have it wrose off then I do but still you can’t call/judge people on their feelings. So in my eyes those people who do judge/call names, are the ones who are sick. It’s kinda hard for some of us to deal with things. And I’m sure if those people who talk shit went through some things that some of […]
I dont know what to do. I am 13 years old and I dont know if I can take it anymore. My parents are divorced, my dad has anger issues and yells a lot. I feel like I have to protect my step brother and step sister because my step mom doesn’t do anything. My step mom gets stressed and takes her anger out on me. My mom is also stressed and takes her anger out on me. At school I try to be friends with everyone but everyone just ignores me and whispers behind my back about how I smell and how ugly I […]
Me, a 16 year old ******, atleast i think i am, always brushed off my stressors and depression-activators aside…. i never gave a 2nd look to why i am sad. I endured it. I always thought, if I thought about why i am so unhappy with my life, maybe I’ll take some sort of action towards fixing or mending this apparent hole in my life. Being Indian gives me a life full of culture… values… family. From day 1, I have been taught to be the perfect being my parents could wish for. I don’t want to be the perfect being they want me to […]
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