I can count it even 3 if the flat tire would not have happen. Today was the most serious attempt of them all, before i just attached the rope on the tree and put the knot over my neck, but today i jumped and stroke the ground. 2 of the branches broke and i was up on my toes with failed attempt. Then i tried to put the rope higher and i failed again because some mother f***er drove on the road with his dirt bike and i had to came down and drive away because i think he had called me cops or something. […]
Tag:
Emotions
May 31, 2012
9:30 p.m
I feel nothing. I feel useless, dull, and dead. I want to die. I’ve thought of dying. I need help. I NEED HELP! I have so much work to do I feel like I’m drowning, I feel empty. I feel like I have no emotions, I feel lifeless, that my life has no meaning. Nobody understands, at least I don’t think so. They all say it will get better or to suck it up. I can’t suck it up; my body and mind are betraying me! I know intellectually that I need to do things but then my mind […]
honest to god, i hate my family. for several reasons. i guess the main one is that they’re all really condescending and do pretty much whatever they can to make my life hell. im not exaggerating, my father got on my case this morning for deciding to eat breakfast. my sisters are just as bad, as they seem to have a bit of an inability to keep off my fuckin’ case. my mom is a bit better, but she’s always asking the wrong questions when i get depressed and reminding me of my self-injury when all i want to do is forget about it.
now school is going to be getting […]
hi, i’m only new on this site and this is my first post, i am a teenager and i often feel depressed and i cut myself i planned out my suicide and the note i would leave for my family but i never actually decided to go ahead with it. i get really depressed and everything seems 2 bring me down even when i’m happy i’m down i hope some people can relate 2 this and understand it. its like when i cut myself i can release emotions and i know i sound crazy but i don’t know who to talk to i hide my marks from […]
You’re never going to actually read this, so I suppose I’ll post it here. I love you, I tried, I’m Sorry, Goodbye.
I’ve tried helping you with your problems, I wouldn’t dare see a pretty face with so much potential just disappear among the lives of the other, unnoticed and unloved. So many people try to be with you, but I know a secret, something you’ve only told me, some people, they think they know everything about you, but really, I’m the only one you told. Two months ago you were a stranger, just another pretty face in school, but then we talked, and we kept talking, that’s […]
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person.. thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
by niki
written by niki
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
first off id like to say i hate everything. I stopped taking meds and now i cant move my fucking arm cause of a stress related disorder.I couldnt walk earlier and now this. I dont know why i stopped taking it it just happened. But for some reason ive gone between super happy then super pissed and now depressed and wanting to die. No im not bipolar. Im psychotic but not schizophrenic. And Im terribly alone ive never been more alone. My two main emotions are alone and pissed off. But i have to keep cool only my close friend knows whats going on with […]
Sick of constantly breaking down, angry, I become someone I’m not when I’m angry and I can’t control it, begging to not be alive, punching walls, tensing,
Advice?
Worry.
Little angel, don’t you see how beautiful you are?
It’s time to stand up and wipe the tears from your eyes.
You are fighting this hopelessness and the end  seems so far.
For every second that passes, it feels like a part of you dies.
And they make you feel as if your feelings are not up to par.
But it is time to be strong cus I’m right beside you, fighting the lies
You’ve been fighting for so long,
Little Angel
Can’t you feel that you are strong,
Little Angel
Because it is in you that I see hope,
Little Angel
It was you who […]
I was wondering what kind of emotions people have when they are logged on this site.
If you could spare 2 seconds of your time, to just comment with one word of the emotion you’re feeling right now, that’d be greatly appreciated.
Once again, I am back from the hospital for suicidal thoughts and depression… Yippy. Just what I want, right? Wrong. I wish that I didn’t have to come back to school… I hate it here…. Anywaysssss I was there also for my anger. I have a terrible temper and I needed to get that under control also, but mostly, I was there for my depression… I tried to OD yesterday also and tried to cut open my arms. Sounds great, doesn’t it? God, why can’t I just be happy…? Even if it’s for a minute. Why?
i’m a 16 year old girl. never done anything bad really, except for white lies and secret boyfriends (from my parents). But I guess it is what has led me to how I feel now.
It’s started since 6 years ago when my sister became a disappointment to my parents. And well, coming from a South Asian culture, stereotypical, it had to do with the influence of the Western society, new found independence (she was 18) and lack of grades. It costed my parents a lot and that I understood. After that year abroad, she had to return to India and took my mother with her, I […]
Lately I’ve been getting very sharp pains in my chest. It only occurs when I think about bad things people have said or done to me (a lot). Today, in particular, was a really bad day. Considering I’m that cheery friendly girl, I can’t break down and cry at school because I’m suppose to be strong. Although I almost broke 3 times. I can’t take this. My friend has been cutting herself for a month but stopped. Everyone just pushes me around. The pain is so piercing that I can’t breathe. It’s been happening a lot. The tears are almost impossible to hold back. It […]
I bet i’m not the only one on here that delves into the problems of others to build a barrier between you and your own. I bet I’m not the only one who seems some of you, if not all, as tools. Yes, I use you to escape my life. I am pathetic, but as pathetic as I may be, sometimes you all are tools to me. Objects to use to fix whatever is broken in my life or to build up, even more, the barrier between my emotions and my problems. I realize I torture myself by doing this…It’s still better than feeling nothing. […]
Just from being on this website it’s apparent to me that there are so many people who feel hopeless and lost, ranging in age, different genders, coming from numerous countries, different religions ect…
I’m just curious, not about everyones story as to why they want to die or give up on life, but i want to know what emotion is the most common trigger for people.
Meaning, what emotion can’t you handle? or don’t want to handle? Fear,anger,embarrassment,jealousy,sadness…ect?
It’s true: hurt people hurt people. I’ve never walked around rejecting others while genuinely in a happy state. On the other hand, when I hurt, I hurt those around me; not always intentionally or maliciously. It’s more of a”too stuck in my head to deal with anyone else” kind of hurting. Sometimes, it manifests itself in the form of quickly rejecting the presence of those around me so I can not-soon-enough resume my isolation. The chiming in of anyone else is dismissed as nothing short of a threatening disturbance.
I normally stave off the constant “get me out of here” feeling through substances or the validating […]
Suicide and Reclamation
It’s so cold and dark in this place
I’d cut myself open to show you
Our blood is the same
Water stings as it kisses cuts like my mothers lips
Something about submerging myself seemed to be like a baptism.
I remember when my pastor dipped me in the water.
I want to be clean again.
I want to tell you I’m sorry…for what I can’t remember.
All I know is that I was wrong.
Alcohol burned so much I thought it killed what made me sick even those dirty sinful memories.
I want to be pure again.
I want to hold someone […]
The pressure is building, and I am about to fucking explode, but I know that if I cut then I’ll be alright even just for a little bit while I stain my arm red. I want to die. But if death would bring me peace then I don’t deserve it. I can’t feel anymore. Does this make sense? I have gone completely numb. All i have is the memories of the actual emotions. but it’s almost as if they are scratching the surface, and maybe if I cut they’ll come seeping out so i can feel again.
Why am I so alone. I feel so empty. […]
Most people would say I have a pretty average life. I have two married parents and a healthy sister. I don’t have or know everything in fashion, but I do dress decently. I have some acne. My hair frizzes out from time to time. And I have plenty of friends.
But what they don’t know is this. My two married parents talk about divorce. They fight all the time. Even my mom is a recovering alcoholic. My sister may be healthy, but she tells me I don’t deserve to live, nobody likes me. My clothes have to cover my back because the […]
You always hear people say that, “You’ll be accepted by being yourself,†right? Well,… IT’S WRONG!!! People would only accept you by being like everyone else. They always say that, you’re an anti-social freak or a messed up person am I wrong. Should we live up to other people’s expectation? Should they accept you by using you? Should you change yourself because you’re desperate to be accepted and to speak out on your own? That’s the quest/journey that I never accomplished from my life and still now. I do know that there are others that are doing the same. I understand. The confusion, the depression, […]