In my dreams, every night, I am back at school (it’s been nearly 10 years.) There, all my defences crumble, and I am confronted with my deepest fears. My peers can finally treat me with the contempt I deserve. No need to hide how pathetic, repulsive, or worthless I am. None of the kindness or tact that you find in real life. Everyone is completely callous, if not actively malevolent. I am an other, an outsider, to be sneered at, laughed at, and rejected. Everyone is against me, and I am powerless to escape or change the situation. Even the teachers despise me – I am […]
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I wanna start by sayin when I post here I dont want to sound like some winny 23 year old we all know theres no where else to vent to , even right now my heart is broken with dispair nd I want to die I need the courage to do myself in
With that being said maybe if I could jus reach a new friend here maybe something will change so SP …
What is everyone doing right now what do yu do from day to day lets just try And connect more
Morning sp, just a thought regarding something I saw on tv recently. There was a football game on that was going to be dedicated to an ex player who took his own life. They had one of his kids friends there, and she said, “it was important to show support for her friend whos father had died from depression, and we should look after each other before things get bad for them”.
She mustn’t have been any older than 10, and already showing a wisdom beyond her years. I was so impressed with everything she said, now if the rest of the world can catch up, […]
It’s just too much and I just feel sorry for myself and I want it all to end. I want to see the sun shine again. It’s been so long since I sincerely smiled. It’s been way too damn long since I felt things I could understand, since I was genuinely happy. I don’t want to be who I am. I want these thoughts to stop. They’re just too loud. I miss the times when I was actually confident and didn’t hate myself so much, the times I wasn’t so body conscious, the times I didn’t criticize every single thing I do, the times I […]
I made a Kik specifically for you guys here on SP. Just in case anyone ever needs or wants to talk, vent, rant, etc privately, it’s anoynomus and I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can. Just so you know I’m here for all of you, whether I know you or not. The username is haileeonsp. Have a lovely night guys.
Is it really that bad if I kill myself because I’m too tired to live anymore? I’m thinking of setting a date. Now to push everyone away.
I never asked to be born
I never asked to look like this
I never asked to have this low intelligence
I never asked if I wanted to feel pain
I just got it…
Then everyone says it’s a “gift.” They say, “make the best of it. you only get one.” I feel like it’s more of a curse. I feel happy, then I feel sad. It is unpredictable what I will feel. Humans are errors.
My grandma has been living here because of certain circumstances, but she keeps inviting over my little bad ass cousin and she disrupts the entire house! My grandma even told her it was all right for her to stay today and she missed school. For what? Just to go around and get on everyone’s nerves in the house? The girl does NOT listen at all. She’s a bad apple. Period. The girl finally left today and I heard her tell my grandma “See you next week” so I blew the fuck up at my grandmother because this is NOT just her house.
It’s so inconsiderate to […]
I wish someone loved me unconditionally. It seems that everyone loves someone and someone loves them, yet no one loves me, maybe I’m not worth loving.
Everything is my fault it seems , I can’t be happy for more than a two hours , I’m giving up , I push everyone away so they won’t get hurt when I’m gone , and maybe by making people hate me it won’t be so hard . I’m giving up and I’m counting down the days . I can’t wait to be free from everything I can’t wait to be somewhere where I can be happy . I have given up and I have set my mind . I hope I can help others I hope one day people won’t be so sad that […]
I can’t take this emotional spiral I feel like everyone is against me No one really cares I’ve been home for 6 day from residential I’m so done with this rollercoaster I’m getting off I’m gonna cut my brachial artery (the place you get blood drawn opposite of elbow,any tips or advice plz comment
Sorry to worry u guys iv been trying to keep busy thank u for caring I appreciate it very much u can contact me on my email if u want to chat if u need support I can try my best
indigojones5@gmail(dot)com
iv been thinking of u guys
I can’t remember everyone name
dawn
cordless
alan
phantom
procel
Any there many others hope your all ok thinking of u guy been trying to give life a shot if not there always the exist plan how r u guys hope everyone ok
This isn’t a very important question, I’m just wondering, how old are you guys? I’m 15 and a sophomore in high school, I’ll be 16 on June 25
this world is not for everyone
It’s true
In fact, everything in this world is not meant for everyone
Some people is not meant to be in this cruel cruel world and most of the time, that someone knows it. They know that this is not where they belong. they know that there are other places for them. The place they can be themselves without getting reject or being judge.
There are two decisions for these people:
To keep going, keep fighting to stay in this world. To continue.
To go seek for other places where they are truly belong.
At the end of the day, it’s that person’s choice to choose.
are you […]
So after suffering for over a decade of loneliness, I’ve decided today is the day I will kill myself. No one knows the pain I am in because nobody cares to know me. People only know fragments of who I am, and when I open up, it only scares them away. I am 32 years old I haven’t had a girlfriend since my early 20s and I am a fairly successful individual. I have a master’s degree and make $100,000 year. I don’t tell you this to brag, but to demonstrate that this disease affects everyone. I have served in the military for over 8 […]
My mum found out about my relapse today, and has been demanding since this afternoon for me to tell her why I did it. No matter how many times I told her talking about it with her makes me uncomfortable and I literally can’t tell her, she’s still insistent I do.
So I’ve wrote it out in bullet points for her in the morning – and just for the heck of it I referred to myself in third person. It’s not really helpful, but it’s all she’s getting. I had to come home early from college today. I told my mum I probably would because I […]
Well, very average at best. I long ago accepted my ugliness and depression but just recently after many years they’ve started to bother me again, making me more suicidal. Why? I already came to terms with it. Seems life just wants me to carry on suffering and beating myself up about it. Looks are everything to people nowadays and everyone knows it. They are the passport to a much easier life and happiness.
Bree hasn’t left me alone all day. Neither have the voices. They’ve all been taunting me, knowing what was happening today. My Nan had a hospital appointment. She’d been getting pains in her back. Turns out, her terminal cancer has spread to her spine now. And it’s all my fault.
They warned me. The voices warned me, the Angels warned me. Bree warned me. They said they would make my family suffer if I didn’t do what they said. Now they’ve done this. This is all my fault. And everything will only get worse if I don’t listen to them.
I told everyone it would be bad […]
I’ve been living like I’m dying for awhile now. Ready to take the plunge any day. It’s depressing but so relaxing. No fuss, no planning for the future, no caring what people think. Temporary.
I’ve been offered a nursing job. Going to be staying alive and seeing how it goes. No use in ruining everyone else’s lives right now.
It’s stupid, but I had just gotten used to being a walking corpse. A sick part of me is a little disappointed.
I don’t want to try and fight this shit anymore. Its funny because this thought never goes away. It lessens. Well today its a little stronger than normal. Its been building. Festering probably going to morph into an alternative better version of me. The sad thing is that I doubt anyone would be able to tell the difference. They would like “her” more. I’m being consumed by my own demons. I gave up on trying to fight them long ago. I’m fucked for however long I live. I’m stuck living, failed at taking my life and a whole bunch of other shit. I can’t even […]