Tag:

everything

32 and suicidal girl, don’t know how I got here…

by BadYear 5/21/2015

written by BadYear

What can I say… I have been seriously depressed and in a lot of pain (emotionally) for well over a year… I am on anti depressants, but they just don’t help me thinking I have nothing to look forward to… I had the life, a good job, everything was going well for me, but suddenly I snapped… I couldn’t keep my job, became paranoid… And I just feel like crying everyday…

Has anyone recovered from this? My brother did, he was bad for about 2 years and I remember when he was going through it how little I thought about how serious it was and how […]

5/21/2015 20 comments

???

by mranony 5/21/2015

written by mranony

I don’t know why people keep connecting with me. I know it’s flattering and some people might actually would do anything to get that but it’s rather hard for me. I know spending time with friends would take me away from my problems for a while and that is nice but I know I’m going to be an ass and ruin it. I don’t even know if I’m being an ass or not. I don’t know if people accept me or just trying to keep a profile. I am weird and extremely moody. One shit can hurt me like what AM I!?

I am fine being […]

5/21/2015 0 comment

Without Purpose

by dead 5/20/2015

written by dead

nothing is worth it anymore. I fuck up in innumerable ways without even trying. Turning to alcohol just makes it worse, causing even bigger failures. I never thought my life would turn out like this. Yes, I am smart, I have a future, how could I be so selfish, I have everything handed to me. I’m a wreck of human, inadequate at life, I have no purpose, no reason. I have messed up nearly everything and don’t want to wake up to face my consequences of anything. I’m reckless, and very soon I won’t be here any longer, unless the cats I work with this […]

5/20/2015 2 comments

Update

by brokenredbutterfly 5/19/2015

written by brokenredbutterfly

Hey I’ve decided the plan of killing myself on the 25th is not going ahead. In my other post I talked a lot about a guy who I lost only to find out that he got with another girl 2 days after we broke up.. I was sad about it and it made me think that he couldn’t of loved me that much :/ it would of been a year I was with him but hes moved on and I’m kinda happy for him because hes happy.. I have this guy friend who’s like my bestfriend he has been there for me a lot through […]

5/19/2015 2 comments

She never introduced herself to you guys and I doubt anyone on here really

by misssK88 5/19/2015

written by misssK88

But the username misssk88 was one of my best friends. I never got to tell her but I really did care about her… Fuck it, I loved her. I never got to tell her, might as well write it here. Anyway, she left most of her stuff to me in her actual suicide letter, which I may post here, but I still just feel really fucking weird about everything. I saw she frequented this site and for a second I got a sick feeling like maybe people on this site told her to do what she ended up doing… like some sort of weird site […]

5/19/2015 10 comments

!!! Don’t Leave !!!

by helloforever123 5/19/2015

written by helloforever123

Why do people have to be so mean. Every time i let someone in they always have to hurt me. I hate it how people always say they there gonna be there for me and once they see that i really do care about them they just leave. I just wanted a friend but they eventually just leave, but then they say life is worth living. i just want that oe person who will say they wont leave and then they do. my mom prefers weed ad meth so she’d set me away to my step dads who loves going to the bar. But i […]

5/19/2015 5 comments

What left of me?

by ZeroTheCat 5/19/2015

written by ZeroTheCat

The air suffocates me, room feels like a prison, city – like a cattle-pen. Any form of entertainment does not fill heart like it used to, it merely makes me forget my misery for a bit. And when I am alone – I can’t escape thought of suicide. No one have to love me. But still, I hoped that someone would. I tried to be a best person I could, but that was obviously not enough. I have a plan of easy death, still need some tests, though, to do it right. To avoid more pain, to avoid failure. But the plan calms me. I […]

5/19/2015 3 comments

Everything crashing down

by persephone 5/18/2015

written by persephone

Everyone depends on me I do everything that I’m told with no questons and I get no appreciation, everyone and everything is leaning on me while I have nothing or no one to lean on… I just wanted to disappear from all of this negativity peacefully… But I don’t think I can muster up the courage to take my own life even though I think about doing it often…. I need a way OUT

5/18/2015 2 comments

Can’t go back, can’t move forward

by genieheart3 5/18/2015

written by genieheart3

I’m so close. Once this morning, I don’t know how close but it was this weird split state of a happy dreamland – very nondistinct, I would describe it as fairies, la-la land but there weren’t an any actual images, just a state of being – and another part of me just instinctively knowing something is wrong and my body trying to untie the knot. My body won.

Once my body won and I came back to this reality, I immediately threw the rope (bathrobe belt) back into my packed up things and crawled into bed. My neck hurt a lot.

But the thing is… I don’t […]

5/18/2015 1 comment

When you hate life so much

by itstimetogo2015 5/18/2015

written by itstimetogo2015

I just really hate my life… waking up is the worst, coming to a job where you are always on the outside and useless.

My friend tells me I should be happy I have a job… I can see her point but it’s life I have such hatred against, not a job or finances. It’s waking up, breathing, not existing, being eternally hopeless, eternally saddened by things that make others happy or normal… everything hurts and is negative. There’s no “thing” or “sunny day” to change the bleakness of everything in every waking second.

If I were cut out to be here I’d have figured it out […]

5/18/2015 2 comments

Friends?

by dead 5/17/2015

written by dead

Friday night I was really lonely and texted everyone I know who goes to my college to find someone to hang out with, or even just to come outside for a little bit to have a cigarette. It wasn’t that late, around 11, and not one of the 10 people I texted wanted to or could. Then one friend texts back and invites me to his friends. We just played pong and drank beers all night, and eventually my friend went home; his other friend was going to walk me home because it’s not a good area to walk around alone. It’s around 2am, his […]

5/17/2015 11 comments

by Alonelyfool 5/17/2015

written by Alonelyfool

I loved him. It was two long years with him. I cared. I gave 100% everyday I was with him. And the fact that he wants nothing to do with me is the worst feeling ever.

So I heard he was cheating on me. Which turned out to be a lie. He breaks up with me. I go take him his clothes. I get there and he won’t even acknowledge me. I run after him. Trying to get some kind of closure. He won’t give me any attention. That’s when I snap. [being ignored is my biggest pet peeve and what triggers my depression is […]

5/17/2015 5 comments

by imabitch_ly 5/17/2015

written by imabitch_ly

Lost everything, lost my heart, lost every interest. I wish I never exist.

If you ever loved me, my life would worth it. But you never did, yet I love you like everything, I love you with all my life.

If I was not 14 years old when I fell in love with you, it would less hurt.

5/17/2015 1 comment

Meh

by acanthi 5/17/2015

written by acanthi

I only come to this website when I’m feeling down
and that’s ok because I know it will pass eventually
but it also sucks because I know that it will also come back like always.
It’s just a bummer to be doing something and then have the horrible thoughts come into your head. You don’t want them there but they stick around anyway, making everything miserable.
Anyway, that’s all.
I hope you all have a good day, stick in there you guys.

5/17/2015 1 comment

Pain

by QuietlyBleeding 5/16/2015

written by QuietlyBleeding

Pain is thay friend you keep close as you cut. It’s what’s needed to survive the depression. Pain grows and is fed through self hate. Self hate can be acquired through any means, although some self hate is stroger than others’ self hate. The difference between me and you is that when you wake up, your nightmare ends. I used to live in fear of death. But i turned that fear into self hate to feed the mature pain that has been accumulated inside of me since i was born. That pain gave birth to a hate of life and everything that falls within that […]

5/16/2015 9 comments

What is Life? Part 1

by QuietlyBleeding 5/16/2015

written by QuietlyBleeding

What is life? Is it what we believe it to be? Is there a god? Is there evil? Why do i hate myself? Why do i hate life?……well i will answer every question that everyone has without knowing the specific questions. In order to understand what I’m about to write, you need your thinking caps turned on and tuned up all the way, and you must keep an open mind. I’ve eaten from the forbidden fruit of knowledge and I’m sharing the truth. God doesn’t exist and hell is life. I will use common sense, logic, and science and actual facts to prove everything…..in order […]

5/16/2015 3 comments

Cancer.

by Sammi6xoxo 5/15/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

This isn’t something I typically talk about because it isn’t an easy subject to approach. I’m going back to my doctor soon to figure out how far things have progressed or if they’ve changed at all. I really don’t think I want to know. I’m so tired of this.

I would kill to feel like I could trust someone. Anyone. But people come into my life and I throw them away just as quickly. Id rather hurt them than let them hurt me. Might as well beat them to the punch. Right?

In all honesty, I’m scared. Of everything. I don’t know where to turn. don’t […]

5/15/2015 10 comments

D day plus 100

by cronic 5/14/2015

written by cronic

Have a plan in place. Will have my house empty, clean, and pay as many bills as possible, as well as debt. Going to take vacation few days before. And any money left over will go to family.

Still working on the final note, but for sure don’t want services, just creamation, quick and easy. Only one person I want to say a few thing to first. BuT would only make me feel better, and her ask herself if she should have seen it commimg.

Going to slowly die, over the next 100 days, doing my best to show the world everything is peachy. And going to […]

5/14/2015 3 comments

Life Knows Just When to Knock You Down

by Lovebug4142 5/14/2015

written by Lovebug4142

Alright so yesterday during my third class period of the day, a CPS worker came and talked to me. We talked about my home life and if I feel safe being there. My mom’s boyfriend is in to drugs and drinking and when he’s high/drunk he likes to argue. Sometimes he’ll just be obnoxious and loud, other times he’ll get physical with my mom and stuff. What pissed me off was when she said on the report that it was mentioned that I cut myself. So she had to take a picture of me and of my arm and brought up that I was molested […]

5/14/2015 0 comment

I want to sleep forever.

by Phobia 5/14/2015

written by Phobia

Let me start off by saying that I am only 16 years old and currently in the 11th grade. I have been going through severe depression for about a few years now and everyday is a struggle for me. When I open my eyes the next morning knowing that I have to get up and start another day of this pointless life that I live. I have been going to the same school for eight years and as the years passed by and we all got older I still ended up having no friends and only having acquaintances and being used all the time for […]

5/14/2015 4 comments

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