I honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take.
Nobody wants me around anymore, or maybe they never wanted me around in the first place…
I fuck everything up.
Life is so painful.
Everyday is just so stressful and it’s just not worth it anymore.
I want to die so bad, but I fear that I will be missing out on something good that might happen later in life.
No one loves me.
They all just pretend to care and I’m really sick of it.
I wanted to grow up and help others with mental illnesses and those who are suicidal get […]
I just dont feel like being anywhere. It seems as though i dont share the same values as those who inhabit this patch of earth alongside me. I feel like im in a constant state of purgatory, neither here nor there. The only reason im on this site is i can express myself to those who might possibly relate, although im not so sure about that either. Im a blessed individual with a loving family and a lot of opportunities laid before me. Im mentally and physically blessed and i feel selfish for cursing my existence but i havent met anyone who gets me. Everyone […]
ok so im noticing a fucking pattern.
every time a suicide attempt fails within a few days something good comes out of it.
with that ive been majorly depressed and tried commiting suicide the other night well no duh i failed.
go back to a year ago, i had a crush on my friend who had a girlfriend so i respected that and tried not to make this a big fucking deal…to late for that. my friend is really suicidal and last yr i always had my suicide notes/poems with me taped to my binder for school well he saw it and read it once he […]
In a nutshell: 23 years old, No job, never been in a serious relationship, living with my sibling who I can tell doesn’t want me to be here much longer. No money, no car, and since graduating and moving to a new city, no friends. I do EVERYTHING alone. I eat alone, I go out alone, I work out alone. Student loan payments will have to be made soon. Rent, car payments, a multitude of other bills with no job are coming. This isn’t what it was supposed to be like. By this point in my life I was supposed to be starting a new […]
My greatest fear when thinking about taking my own life is the family I have with me and that care for me. I’m so lucky to have both my parents together still, and that would do anything for me. I also have a sister, brother in law, and two nieces whom all of I adore. I’m 24 years old and I feel like I’ve never experienced a normal life. I’m gay,and I also have other problems that make me self conscious of my appearance so I hate being in public or any places with many people, so I cant go to gay bars or any […]
It all started in my Freshman year. I was in my Ancient History class and these guys would whisper “*****” as i walked by. Throughout my first semester i was called lesbian, fat, ugly, whore, and *****. I would go home and think how everyone would be better off without me there.
December 8,2012 my world crashed down around me. My grandfather Skip who stepped in and took care of my grandma and my mom and her sisters  for 17 years passed away from cancer. He was a […]
Hey everyone, I know this website is more for people who are hurting right now. But If you are willing to share your story on facebook and my blog i would love to see it. I have had a few of you do this already and you answered me back with how all the positive fed back changed your life. So hopefully this could help someone else. To tell your story you dont have to be fully recovered you just need to be okay with sharing. I know for a fact it helps other people i personally go speak to other schools and talk to […]
I feel like such a failure. Everything I do, or try to do turns to shit. I could go through my life story but it would bore you to death. Â Â (pun intended)
I see my family and past friends on facebook, I know facebook sucks but it’s all I got most of the time, and they all seem happy living the life I always wanted. My girlfriend from high school is a grandmother. My friend from the military is retiring after a long rewarding career. Another past girlfriend looks as beautiful as she did years ago when I thought I wanted something different. My nieces and […]
I manage to log into my second Facebook account every other day, in hopes that my mom wrote me back. She does sometimes. but most of the time i have to wait for days before she writes me.
i don’t know why i try so hard, she never wanted me in the first place. she used to tell me she wished she had gotten an abortion, and some how i always manage to over look that. but today im just so so so far down in the rut i started realizing that this is what my potential life will be like. i cant manage to do […]
My friend Tennyson.. Actually, I like him. And he knows that. But he doesn’t like me. I know he doesn’t. He said so. Anyway, on the bus earlier, he pulled out a pocket knife and cut himself. I could literally feel my heart ripping itself apart because there was absolutely nothing I could do. I told him to get on facebook, but I doubt that he will. The worst part is that I heard his friend say, “Well, why do you want to kill yourself?!”. I don’t want him to die. God, he’s been going to therapy.. I don’t know what to do. I love […]
For years I’ve been miserable. At night in high school I would lock my door at night before I went to bed. I would stay up until 3 or 4, or sometimes not go to bed at all. I’d cry and listen to music like a lot of insecure guys would like me. just made me feel worse and worse. Somewhere around 2, i’d finish my homework. And then get up at 630. High school=tiring.
College was better, but not much better. I started taking adderall since I took some and felt okay with myself for the first time of my life. Something like loving myself. […]
My name is Emily and this is my story. July 29,2011, 3 month anniversary with my boyfriend Ian. My best friends Mia, Maria, & planned to go to a Rangewide and meet our boyfriends there to hang out. We went, our boyfriends never showed up. No big deal, girl time. Well, the dance got boring and I told Mia and Maria I was gonna go hang out with Ian. I told them to call me later to meet up again. I got to my boyfriends house to find him very drunk, his brother had a party. I put him to bed and we cuddled and […]
Beautiful…you’d think she’d have no problems.
Yet she found me on facebook…and blast my soul, I almost missed her message because it was in the “other” part of my inbox.
She then told me how she had seen my post on sp and decided to read my others..and that she enjoyed my writing and that, most importantly to me, I was an inspiration to her..to HER..to anyone. She signed her message “Just a stranger passing through”..for she thought it was weird to write me though she didnt know me.
I replied as quickly as I could, letting idiotic words and sentences tumble across my keyboard but […]
Life is hateful mean and cruel each day  we feel like screaming  but we stop and know that it doesn’t matter if we do or not because everybody has turn a deaf ear. We feel trapped lost and chain to the habits that run in a never ending circle.
I want to help-help people like me who just want things to be right again. Who wants someone to care, to love them regardless of the past mistakes , who wants to be happy with her/himself , who is so tired of being strong and for once just want to be weak and have someone to pick them up.  I am here to help along with to […]
This is me.
This is how I feel, how I am.
Yet, when I put this as my facebook pic nowhere close to halloween…
No one asked why.
No one understood.
In fact, I got a few likes..as if people would appreciate me dying.
Currently in pain from physically fighting my ex boyfriend yesterday. My whole body hurts and it’s kindve hard to breathe.
I sit here in pain and still cant help to think that emotional pain is so much worse. Like I’d rather cut my skin than experience more of this emotional hell. Now I […]
This has been such a bullshit day. I have no idea why I woke up in such mental pain…could it be the recent separation, the two kids that are grown and on opposite ends of the globe, the fact that my life is just completely fucked….Or maybe its hormones. A drug reaction to the antibiotics i’ve been on. No, I just wanna die. I have to wait until my daughter is out of college and I know she is happy or settled or something, so that she will have her own life situated and can go right back into her own life, after my death […]
I’m only 17. I am going through shit right now. Exactly a year from today I was on this site. A year ago i felt like killing myself so badly that it had never got to me like that.
I will try to make this short and summarize everything.
My life began taking its downhill when i was in 6th grade. My parents got divorced and it affected me. I hated my dad. I never hung out with him unless my mom made me.
My dad always called me a hoe since I was in 7th grade. He never felt proud of me really. I […]
I haven’t been here for a while. And honestly, when I came back, I wasn’t expecting much of any attention. I nearly thought this was going to be like facebook, with people saying ‘oh u shuldn’t b sad all the time u shuld b happi!’ but no.
Instead? People are supportive. Encouraging to live, not die. I was wrong about this place. Maybe this is a new leaf being turn? Or some sort of phrase like that, I don’t know..
But for those who are/may be concerned, life has gotten to a standstill. I’m neither happy nor sad on this year’s holidays. Maybe it’s for the best […]
they took a picture of me during lunch hour the other day. and by they i mean my ‘friends’. actually, i’m not even friends with the boy who took the picture. he just hangs out with my ‘friends’. anyway, he took a picture and showed the girl next to him. they started laughing. i figured it was a picture from facebook or something. then one of the girls asked ‘what?’. the girl who first saw the picture said ‘trust me. you don’t want to see it’. the boy sent the picture to that girl and then showed the other people around him. they were all […]
The shooting today.. 20 kids dead… 6 adults it brought up so many memories, that may have even no relation.
First the shock that someone can hurt kids so innocent.. then i remember my past 2 people hurt me.. when i was so young.. to innocent to protect myself. At their entire control, my life was basically in there hands…
Then i thought of how these kids would suffer 5-10 years from now. Like i do today, the symptoms of my PTSD have cause severe depression, anxiety, insomnia, psudo siezures, multiple persanality disorder, and bipolar. I agree some of these may not have been a direct result, […]