Lately my whole life has falling apart. Im 24 in California. Iv been with my gf for 5yrs. Iv left my whole family just to be with her here. (My family is in Michigan). So after 5yrs now she isn’t in love with me anymore. She says she loves me but shes not “in love with me”. She broke up witb me yesterday and now idk what to do.. like wtf iv built my whole life around her. Iv given her everything she ever wanted. I put her before myself and now it means nothing i cant just uproot myself whenever she feels like it. […]
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falling apart
My mom died just a couple of months ago in October. She was my best friend. I don’t have any other friends. Her absence leaves me feeling very alone in this world. I’ve been married for 12.5 years to someone who doesn’t seem to love me and it finally seems to be falling apart now. I need my mom more than ever. My oldest brother finds nothing but disappointment in me. My other brother would screw me over for an opportunity to help himself and his family. The only person on this earth now who loves me and would miss me is my teenage son. […]
I haven’t killed myself because my entire family is going through rough times, a death would only set them back that much more. This house is falling apart, literally, and everyone in it suffers daily. How selfish would they think i was if i took my life? Why would that matter? I’d be dead. No one could tell me anything because I’d be erased and that’s what I want. But thats not what im allowed to do, even in death I’m a burden. I never thought I’d be this young and want to die as much as I do. I can’t believe how […]
has come and gone and I still can’t believe any of it. Exactly a year ago I was in a very shitty relationship that was falling apart and taking me down with it. I can’t believe that it finally ended especially the way everything has gone down. I also can’t believe that in two months I will have had a close friendship with someone for an entire year. That person whether they meant to help me or not did more than I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful for that, for them and everything that they have done. I am sad because these […]
Behind my smile is a hurting heart, behind my laugh i’m falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl i am, it isn’t me …
Nobody has a clue. I smile, i laugh, i put on such a huge front but inside i’m empty. I’m struggling to survive. Not only emotionally but physically too. I can’t even afford to buy food. Most days i go home and sit and watch tv and don’t eat. I eat once a day. I’m slowly fading away and people say “you’ve lost weight, you looking so good” but actually it’s not by choice. Tomorrow is my […]
I’ve realized that the pain has been growing inside me for the past two almost three months since my cousin death. Everything has been falling apart to me. Everyone says that I’m going to be fine I’m a couple of days but I always knew they were wrong. My cousin was killed in a car accident and ever since then I’ve been having the gut feeling in my stomach saying that it is my time to go. She is waiting for me wherever she is, and that she needs me there. The thing about her being gone is knowing I can’t talk to my best […]
I guess my problem has always been loneliness… been at school all day, then i did some sports and… still. I literally have like 2 hours of alone time and i cannot stand it. I feel like im losing my friends. My ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, told me her friend told her to break up with me. As much as I still like her, I cant do that. I was clean from porn for three months and now… one day. Shit is falling apart.
In my time of deepest despair and anger, when everything was falling apart, I got an unexpected phone call from a friend I met on here. I mean unexpected, I just gave my number in the offchance they might text me if everything went bad. But they read my post on here and gave me a call, and it made such a difference. I dont feel so alone anymore. I have people around me, and my doctor and councillor but if I told them truthfully what I was really thinking and feeling and planning it would be hospital time, and that means cant truly share myself. Until […]
Hello
My name is Micaela,
I have been upset and miserable for as long as i can remember.. Last night I had I fight with my mom who I once held near and dear to my heart, she is slowly drifting away day by day .. I cant stop it I dont know how… she makes me feel bad about everything I do when in reality all I want to do is help and make her proud (she Always tells me that she is , but I never really feel it)… like today during the fight she was describing the things I do but when I heard the way she was describing me it was like an exact image […]
You know that feeling in life when you’ve got to do something, but you don’t want to. You can’t get another person to swap places with you. No trades, exchanges, deals.
My deal is that I have to go see a doctor later this month and I already know I’ll have to undergo an operation. Can’t really get anyone to step into my shoes and take a vacation instead. Yeah, because it’s my body and my problem. Then I began to think what if I did not exist, then there would be no operation either. I’m not fond of doctors, operations, hospitals at all, so of […]
There is so much fear. I want to go back to school this fall to finish my degree but I’m not sure how I am going to survive. I had big dreams of graduating and going on to MIT for graduate program or even just getting a job and being responsible. I feel like I am falling apart here. I feel as though I am either normal or depressed and not functioning. I don’t trust medication and I don’t trust the doctors who screwed me over. I became depressed on birth control, then took Prozac, was abusing Adderall in between to finish deadlines and the whole […]
I could be ending it all here. Not now, but soon, I just have to find the right time and method. One method I’ve been thinking about was overdose on fluoxetine and strepsils (hopefully they’ll kill me). I tried hanging but I can’t tie a noose for shit, I have no access to guns at all, and I couldn’t be able to drown myself nor could I find a heavy object to tie to my feet. But that’s beside the point, the point is that I could take my life pretty shortly. I just feel like everything’s falling apart and that if I die now […]
Well, been with this girl for the past 4 years. The most amazing girl, did everything she can to me, gave me all the love that she could. Everything was perfect.. A few months ago though, I got bored, and ended up cheating, and told her. The girl I cheated with had gotten pregnant.. Of course, my gf left me. Told me if she knew it wasn’t mine then maybe we could work through it. Well that was 2 weeks ago, I get a call this morning saying the baby didn’t make it. So I called her and she said “well that was last week, […]
Hi there, I stumbled across this site and I really think it’ll do me some good to post my “suicide story” here.
So, I’m 15 years old and have always struggled with depression. Currently, my life is falling apart. Please don’t tell me that “I’m only 15 and I don’t even know what it’s like to be depressed yet” because I really don’t want to hear it. I always have made an honest effort to just keep my head up and try to stay happy but it seems to get harder and harder each day. I’m not a smart kid, by any definition. My grades have […]
It’s been a while.
I went through ups and downs and now I am actually on the final leg of my journey. But I feel like I shouldn’t be.
How did I get this far? Time passed by so quickly and I didn’t even get the chance to realize it. I feel like I am at this level, but I cheated my way here. Most of them are so much smarter than me, picking up all the points when I’m here still figuring out why the square peg won’t get into the circle hole.
They all look at me and say “wow, there’s a person who got it […]
I feel betrayed and alone. I had a very close relationship (or so I thought) with my Higher Power. But, so much is wrong right now that is totally out of my control – my body is falling apart, all my friends are either gone or more than 1 days drive away, and I am so fucking tired and cold all of the time. I can’t remember a time since my ritual abuse (when I was a child) that I’ve felt this horrible. I used to say I had a problem with depression, but I didn’t. That was not depression. THIS is.
I have done everything […]
something is going on with my body. this new “fun” thing just started. i am having trouble speaking-getting tongue tied. people talk to me and i can’t understand what they are saying. sounds like gibberish to me. i am shaking like crazy. the weakness i have been having has spread to the rest of me. feeling like i am watching myself from afar. i am drifting away . making myself invisible . having a lot of trouble concentrating on what it is i am doing. feeling anxious about leaving my house. i know i should go in to see my shrink. it is obvious the […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/10-The-End-of-All-Things.mp3
She lies next to me, breathing softly, quiet whimpers drifting from her mouth as she sleeps, as I am wrapped in a sadness I cannot explain. She makes me happy, she does, but it seems to be more than that and yet, at the same time, less. Inside me, ocean waves pass over my head, tangling me in the current, and I can’t breathe. Tumbled in some form of vertigo in my head, in my heart, while my body lies on the sand, the water barely lapping at my toes.
So what’s wrong? Nothing.
Why, then, do I feel like I’m falling apart on the inside?
I […]
Theres fire in her eyes,
And a spark in her soul.
There’s flames in her mind,
And her heart is a hole.
There’s an ocean in her eyes,
And a waterfall pouring down her face.
There’s a deep blue color within them,
As the tears began to race.
There’s no hope in her eyes,
No faith in her heart.
There’s nothing left to cling to,
As her world is falling apart.
My life is falling apart, things that I didn’t think could hurt me have managed to get inside my head and I don’t know how to get rid of them. I haven’t open up to anyone because just the thought of it terrifies me. I’ve only ever opened up to one person in my life, she was a therapist and she ended up lying to me and sharing my secrets with people who she knew I didn’t want to hear them.