Yeah, because finding you dead, being shocked at what they see, calling your name, not hearing your voice, trying to wake you up, not feeling your warm skin or breath anymore, freaking out, shouting for help, crying, trying to get you to talk to them again, asking if you’re okay, wondering why you refuse to at least tell them to fuck off, calling the paramedics over, calling the cops, family friends and neighbors are now like WTF, the medics put their compassion to 300% for everyone’s sakes, the police give their part to determine malicious intent or otherwise, they try breathing life into you, they […]
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Hello to whoever is reading this. My name is Brooke and I am 19 years old. This is my very first blog in my life, not quite sure what I am doing. I wanted to start just because I am going through a rough time right now in my life and I want people to hear my story.
I want to talk to everyone about suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death between 15-24 year olds. Nearly 30,000 Americans take their own lives every year. An average of one person dies by suicide every 16.2 minutes. Crazy right? What causes people do do […]
I’m so tired of trying. Every day is the same. This endless depressing cycle keeps repeating itself. I press on, fail, and end up in the same place I started. I’ve tried so hard for the past 9 years. But everyone just see my failures, not what I’ve achieved or how hard it is for me to survive another day. I feel worthless. Empty, defeated, and alone. Everyone is always wanting me to change, to be doing something else, to be somewhere else, to be someone else. It’s frustrating, I’ve changed so many times, I have no idea who I am anymore. And what good […]
I haven’t been on here in such a long time and from reading my last post I can see that I was in a very dark place. I am not fully recovered and I still have relapses from time to time, but I found that when you actually let people in to help and you give life a chance that things can change. Since me last post I have found the love of my life, moved out on my own, got engaged, and let my family back into my life. Without my family, friends and my medication I wouldn’t be on here talking to you. I […]
The only reason I am living is for others. My family, friends, and people I dont even know. I would have committed suicide by now, but ive told my friend not to tell anyone so if i end up doing it the burden will be on his shoulders. I dont know what to do. I havent told my parents or anything because i cant face them. I am a coward they would feel terrible, they would feel failure as parents if i told them. My life seems to have no meaning. Seems that nothing can make me happy. When something does make me happy it […]
I do not tend to be awful and immature.
Just a lot of changes becoming forth
A challenge, I may presume
I had let past and emotion get the best of me
This time, I have thought it over, now until forward into the future
I shall just focus to control my lifestyle
Apologies to your family, friends and mostly towards you
This time, I shall not let you down.
I shall try to fix what is left
but if on your behalf; if you chose, I shall stay away.
My apologies.
A friend.
P.S. If you want, I shall return some stuff back
I don’t know if this is the right place to be posting, but I’m on the edge, I don’t know where else to go. I used to be happy and normal but things are just falling apart. I have a wonderful family, I have friends, I’m looking at a fine life ahead of me, but I don’t want any of it… I’ve just been miserable lately and nobody understands… (I’m sure someone on here will.) They ask me how I can be so depressed when life is so good, and that’s the thing, I don’t know the answer. That’s what kills me. What’s […]
People are part of life, family, friends, even unknown people whom we have to talk with if we want to walk through life. Do we really have true friends? have you ever make this question to yourself? Human nature is to be selfish. Friends will let you down, that is a fact. People will always come and go.  That is a fact that we have to accept if we want to feel at least comfortable in life. because I don’t like to use the term “happy”. Happiness is actually an illusion, an illusion that suddenly will become a need. Parents , boyfriend, girlfriend, our friends. Everybody have said […]
I’ll start out by saying I consider myself “addicted” to suicidal thoughts. The thoughts begun as early as elementary school and continued to thrive throughout my life. As I prepare to leave everyone I know and move a 1000 miles away to college, I can’t seem to commitment to moving forward or ending my life. I have made one serious attempt, one which had me hospitalized for 4 months, and that was just 1 out of my 11 hospitalizations. Life has been a long and hard journey for me. I have learned the hard way the cons of acting on these thoughts. I also know […]
There’s so much misery here, but it’s so nice outside. Things aren’t as they say in the paper and on the news. There are no bombs or psycho killers; just people trying to get by.
Why don’t I have anything to say… uhhhhh, I’m so confused right now. I’m hungry, have some broccoli and half a cucumber in the fridge, eggos in the freezer, apple on my table, but I don’t want any of it. I don’t want to move. Some stupid part of me thinks that if I sit here looking stupefied and feeling like a bag of crap for long enough, I’ll simply cease […]
I can’t do anything at this point. I get drunk all the time, as often as I can. I take advantage of other people. People I’m supposed to care about. I owe people a bunch of money. I’m living off my family. I can’t hold a job, I don’t have any friends, and I don’t care about people who care about me. I want it to stop. I want to stop being me, I want to stop thinking about all of my problems, I want to stop contemplating suicide and just do it. I thought about it all the time when I was 14, I […]
This really pains me to say this but…….I’m a pedophile or maybe a board-line/recovering pedophile if that exist. That’s just one of the reason I hate myself so much. To give u a quick run down of my disaster life it goes like this:
· I’m in my twenties
· Never had a girlfriend
· Super depress (obviously suicidal)
· Masturbate two-three times a day
· Small group of friends
· Tried therapy
· Tried medications
· Self help book
· Even hypnosis
· All & all basically a total definition of a loser
The worst part is that I’m entrusted with the care of a beautiful little girl who is the daughter of a close […]
Hi. My life story? I’m fourteen years old. My parents are divorcing, and I know it’s because of me, I was their mistake. My dad wanted kids at first, but my mom didn’t, now neither of them really want me. I have friends, and I seem like a normal crazy teenager. But hey, a smile can’t hide everything. My uncle committed suicide. I’ve thought about it many times. The only thing holding is my best friend, her brother died a few years ago. She has thoughts of suicide too. My words have always stopped her, I just wish that I could believe them myself. I’m […]
Ive actually forgotten how to be happy, how to actually smile and mean it instead of pretending i mean it, I’m so used to pretending im happy that i dont actually no how to anymore 🙁
I try and do the things that i love doing, talking to people who i love talking to but nothing seems to work, i just dont no how to be happy anymore, if im ever happy i literally lasts for about 5mins and then its like im back to reality again! Today i went to see my nan and there was loads of trouble down there and today i realized […]
Death is a blessing.
Death is like the night. We hide from it, postpone it as long as possible, shun the darkness, but in the end it is inevitable.
We fear it, but it will forever stalk our waking hours, haunt out most sinister nightmares.
Grief, perhaps, is worse.
Grief is what is left behind for the living to deal with.
It is what will make two enemies allies, what can make love turn to hate.
Grief is the most astonishing of pain, and we see it everyday, in some shape or form.
Maybe you just broke up with your beloved. Maybe you just lost […]
    (the following is a letter I recently wrote in serious consideration with my personal thoughts. Sorry its not Hollywood style beautiful, but it is how I am feeling at the moment)
My dearest family, friends and anyone else that this letter may find its way too… This, in the end, may b worth nothing more then a bad joke because there r no words I can say to express how sorry I am… Sorry that I was blind to the blessings I already had and was selfish enough to think my problems were all that mattered. Sorry that I […]
Dear world, it is truly lovely to be alive today on this day of love. I couldn’t be happier because of these amazing people around me.
You all made my day, and my life. Because i don’t want to be a alive, but I DO, for all of you. Because i love you all.
Happy Valentines Day, Family, Friends, Past Lovers, Present Lovers. Everyone, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.
if you have no one relying on you, then what’s so bad about killing yourself? I have family and friends, sure, but none of them needs me to live. I see friends every other week, try to see family less than that; I know I’m not necessary. I’m not necessary to any one other persons existence. People would be sad but so? Life is saddening.
No kids, no spouse or prospects of any kind, no pets, no car or mortgage and no hope.
If I continue living, I’ll just be seeking out ways to stay happy, like everybody else does. But nothing makes me happy, […]
ive been labled as the worst offspring in my family. the adults think i wont get anywhere in life and my cousins just call me stupid. They laugh at my dreams and havn’t bothered to save money for college cuz they think im not good enough anyways. mayb theyre right. mayb im not good enough to get to college. there goes my dream. if i dont hve a dream or family, then perhaps friends? not a chance. to all of them, even one who i called my best friend, im just another person. things were no different from when i was a kid, so why […]
hi everyone that has read my story. this is the day after easter, also the day after i posted my story of myself. to make my story so much more shorter, to save people time from my worthless story. im only 17, junior in highschool, i hate my life completly and everything i turned out to be so far. i have no father and the mother i do have, we have no relationship. my father abandoned me when i was a baby, my mother was a teenage mom when she had me… she didnt know how to deal with me. so she took it out […]