Tomorrow I’m seeing my doctors because they’ve made that decision for me and my grandparents have decided that they will make decisions and support other people’s decisions that have been made for me, even though I haven’t made them. Ok. Do I want to live like this? No. I can’t let some of my family members down. I can’t let myself down especially.. I’m no longer a nice person towards my grandparents. I hate their guts. They’re helpful to me because they have to be. I’m sometimes nice to them because I have to be. My two doctors nearly referred me to the mental staff […]
Tag:
Guts
I’m 16 years old. I’ve been suffering from manic depression. I get bullied at school for being quiet. I get called ugly, a *****, whore and so much more. What did I do??? Nothing. I don’t have the guts to talk to someones face about how much I hate myself. Honestly, I’m pretty much that girl that no one knows until she commits suicide. Then, suddenly everyone had a class with me..it sucks. My dad is abusive and my mom and I are scared to death. Never knowing what he will do to us next. He emotionally abuses me and physically. I don’t have many […]
It’ll get better you just gotta wait! I’ve been waiting for years and nothing has changed. And you still say have hope, well has that helped? Nope.
never has, never will and yet you keep saying it still.
“Don’t give up J, it will”
It will in a pill, it will in a rope. Stop saying have hope i’d rather slit my throught, there’s no better way to go than fast and quiet, though iv’e never had the guts to even try it.
Someday i’ll be too weak,
someday i’ll stop fighting. that day will be very exciting. energy would surge through me llike lightning. […]
I did some research on the most painful type of death you can have..they said “liver failure” was. Since I deserve a slow and painful death without my parents figuring out that I killed myself, I figured that was the best way. I went to the store and bought three bottles of Tylenol, I figured that should suffice. How could that NOT give me instant liver failure? I won’t get a donor in time and BAM, I’m gone. That’s it, no more me. Finally have the guts to do it. I just don’t know when I’m going to…The timing has to be perfect.
I attempted suicide last night again.. but as you can tell i didnt succede. I took a handful of prenatal vitaims but just ended up heaving my guts out along with some blood. My dad and i got in a huge fight, cause i hung up on him in the morning while running for the bus.
It got worse when he planned TWO doctor appointments in the middle of my end of course test. I was pissed so i sent him a angry text in all caps. Then when i got home i went to a friends to install a game onto my computer and we […]
Am I the only one that really believes I’m a walking accident?
I mean…. I’ve lost/annoyed everyone I know and I’m to much of a freak to meet new people. Most of the time everyone annoys me, and I dont mean a small aggitation, I’m on wanting to duct tape poeople up and leave them tape to the wall…. And yeah, that’s not normal.
I’m currently fighting with my ‘best friend’. We used to be so close and now I do t even know what book she’s reading! We became friends because the group of people we hung around […]
I swear this fire doesnt burn
And darkness saves me
The bloody hateful world, it turns
And empty tears break free
I’ll be just fucking fine
With your guts off my mind
Youre the reason why my soul
Is so alone, Its so alone
I know you hate me
I know you’d turn me inside out
And walk about my bloody organs
In those boots you brag about
And i’ll be just fucking fine
With your guts off my mind
youre the reason why my soul
Is so alone, Its so alone
It’s So Alone
i don’t know why but when my life was maybe a little better i was cutting.
now, my lifes even worse and i don’t have the guts to cut.
what’s wrong with me? i just want to make the pain go away and yet i can’t?
everyday., im physically and mentally exhausted.
I hate waking up and i just want to lie there and never move ever again.
somedays i wish the world was covered in black. darkness all around.
someday i wish everybody would die. someday i wish i was all alone.
For the past 10 or 12 years i have known that things in my life weren’t right. How on earth did i allow my sad pathetic life come to this? Alls i know is that i can’t take it anymore, constant thoughts of suicide even if i haven’t guts to do it i still have this strong feeling of wanting to die. I often question my very existance. I do understand what people are trying to do when they write stuff like ” It will get better” stuff like that, but at the same time it never does get any better. Just a few things […]
Most days, I wish I hadn’t been born. I didn’t ask to be alive. I’m asking to die. I could careless how it happens I just wish it would. I’ve been taking my medication and it’s not working. It makes me really want to pass life. I want to be somewhere better. School is starting to depress me even more and stress me out. Everyone is so happy. It kinda frustrates me that I can’t be happy. I’m afraid of what people think about me. I don’t even want to be in the classrooms. My history teacher thinks I skip just to skip. I don’t […]
Well i want to kill myself. Its been that way for a few years and i mad 1 attempt so far (not recently). If been abused a little as a child, my parents divorced due to my dads drug addiction when i was in 4th grade. I never had a single friend till sophomore year in high school. Every one hated me even tho i was the quiet sit in the corner kid. I was extreamly bullied till high school. The reason im still here is because the 1st friend i made in high school made me think that life is worth living. Eventually i […]
First post here. Male, 20 years old,brazilian, never satisfied, always have something to complain about. I have a boyfriend (do I have to say I’m gay?) but can’t say I’m in love. Can’t say I’m not either. This is me, it seems I never have the appropriate feelings. I don’t get along well with my family, I only have virtual friends and can’t say things about how I really feel.
I’m in college, living alone, don’t have friends in my class. I just can’t communicate to people. Seriously, when my boyfriend isn’t in the city I’m living (he goes to college in another one) , I […]
I call myself Annabeth Reid, that’s the life I wish I lived. I have amazing friends and a amazing family, so much to look forward to in life and the bullying has almost stopped. But it never stops does it? The past always catches up with the present… When I was younger I was bullied a lot a name I heard almost everyday was SLUT, my own friends called me that behind my back. I’m also very skinny, not because I try it’s just the way I am, yet I’m called anorexic. People make jokes saying I throw up after I eat, but I don’t. I’ve […]
I’m 17 Â years old and i really want to die right now. As a child i was sexually abused by my uncle. My dad is a jerk. My mom is a control freak. She wants me to do things that I don’t love. I even cried in front of her for like 10x already. I begged her many times that I really want to do what I love. They are all the same my grandma, uncles, aunts. My friends they just love me for my money. I was bullied in school for being ugly. I have low self esteem. I really want to make some […]
Her story
Why wont he just come over. I thought in my head. WHY! WHY! WHY! The blood that keep dripping from my arm wouldn’t stop. In the back ground the song Easy by Rascal Flatts was on. I looked at the clock and seen it was 10 o’clock. I dropped to the groundn and started pulling on my hair, screaming and balling my eyes out. I am curled up into a ball not being able to move..
“I hate you!â€
“ I know I’m sorry.â€
“You don’t know mom! You are putting me in her just like a animal!â€
“I’m trying to help you!â€
Then the door slammed open. […]
I’m exhausted. I’ve come to believe that there are people put on this earth that are meant to struggle throughout their lives. They are the ones that we look at in their 80’s and say…oh but she/he worked soo hard, did what they could, just couldn’t catch a break, but never complained, just went to work did what they had to do…. yeah well, I’m 42 years old, been divorced for 4 years now, I have 2 children remaining with me, my oldest is 19, has moved with his father and hates and refuses to speak to me bc of the divorce. I went […]
Im 17 years old, im 2 and a half months pregnant.
My boyfriend (the father) is beyond ecstatic and can’t wait to see our baby brought into this world, he’s given up drugs and alcohol and has got a great job to be able to be a better dad.
His twin sister, who used to be my best friend hates me. She constantly tells him that either I’m not really oregnant or tha’t it isnt his baby. She refuses to awknowledge me and accuses me of stealing from her and their dad.
Her boyfriend, who was one of my best friends, and his bestfriend are both sociopaths and […]
I think jumping off a building is the way I want to go.. When I do go or when I have the guts. I could run up the stair well to the top of a huge skyscraper. Then once at the top I could look down at the world of cruelty, pain and evil and for the first time since I came into this world, I can smile and truly mean it. I can stretch out my arms like a bird and jump like a child jumps happily when they are younger. Then I can fall effortlessy from this skyscraper and FLY. Then if I […]
I don’t know what to do. Life is getting to me. It is supposed to be fun. It is supposed to be something we enjoy. It is supposed to be an adventure. For me it is different. For me it is depressing. For me it is pointless. For me it awful. Nothing has happened to me like abuse or death of a loved one. I am not attention seeking. I am just speaking for the heart. I hate living, I just don’t see the point. We wake up every morning. Force ourselves to get out of bed. Get through the day getting involved in pointless […]
so i’ve heard that there are good people in the world. and i have this stepfather who is generally an angel. but he’s, i would suppose, human. human in that-
somewhere, deep down, when nobody’s looking, people are petty, blind, stupid, immature, ingenuine, farcical, prejudiced, lying, selfish, ungrateful, sex-driven, etc. in some way
and i just can’t stand being surrounded by all of it. for some reason i suspect everybody of having these ugly sides. i’m all of the above too. and for some reason i just can’t stand that this is the world we live in. i usually ignore it but today it just drove me […]