I’ve lost everything, my friends, my sister, my happiness. I use to be the happy person that would high five everyone in the hallway, the person you could count on. “Your the problem” “your not good enough” “why would I wanna hang out with a freak like you’ is all I hear now. Rejection and misery welcome me like my blanket at night. My friend’s all turned their back on me, and my sister, the only family I felt I could actually talk to and enjoy, is gone from this world, now all I have is my yorkie, I went into homeschool because the bullying […]
As the title states. Within the week I’ll be dead. I just need to make sure I get last minute things taken care of before I go. I have a few attempts in the past. Wrist cutting never did the trick no matter how deep I went. I’ll hang myself this time. I have the rope already set up at a perfect length for a drop hanging. And I know where I’m going to do it. I have hopes and dreams like most people. I unfortunately will not have them fulfilled. I am ex military, married but separated and had 2 girls with my wife. […]
I’m so tired. It’s so hard to hang in there. I wish I didn’t have this life.
Today, i’ve tried to hang myself…
I think i’m gonna try again once i’m drunk enough, i don’t know if this is a cry for help…
Or maybe is just a warning… Fuck it
i’ve tried, i think i’m gonna hang myself in a sheet…
i’m drinking right now, smoking…
today i’ve used 1,5g of coke…
i’m feeling like i don’t have a place here, i think i am a problem…
no one cares, i just want to die…
i don’t want to be a deception anymore…
i’m sitting here for hours and crying… sip by sip… cigarette after cigarette…
my neck hurts from my […]
This will be my last post here if I am lucky.I have attempted to hang myself twice till now but failed miserably.Within the next 24 hrs,I will try to find strength to hang myself for the third time and hopefully this time God will be more kind to me and accept my resignation from this life.If you hear from me again it is unfortunate and I failed for the third time.Before I leave,I would like to thank wndoz8er,salt,kills and others for reading my posts and supporting me.I was only a member of suicide project for just 15 days and I feel I have known you […]
I m sorry to post such a ridiculous statement,but I had to.Last night,I got drunk on vodka and tried to hang myself again for the third time.This time I was pretty sure I will get through it.I even completed say 65-70% of the process.But as you all fine folks know very well that Lady Luck can be a very cruel mistress and life is like an abusive wife.And so when I was about to fade into eternity,the rope snapped and I fell down and piss my pants.So here I am,all worthless and wet but unfortunately alive yet again.
Moral of the incident:Always empty your bladder and […]
I have been feeling so down these past few days emotionally mostly out of loneliness and past thoughts haunting me. I really want to go down to the local festival tonight. But I don’t want to go a lone. It gets depressing watching the happy couples walk around and the groups of friends. My dating life is pretty much in the pits right now. I have talked to a few guys since me and my ex broke up but they led to no where and I got to be honest most of the single guys around my area suck! well due to the fact that […]
I got myself drunk,but…..but due to some reason I just couldn’t kick the chair.I stood on the chair for an hour and kept crying but I just couldn’t kick it.I was scared,I am a very weak person.This was my second attempt.My first one ended up pretty much the same way.I am a master in fucking things up.I mean I messed up my life really bad.I take stupid decisions all the time.I mean I am one dumb jackass.
Like 1 and half hour ago I tried to hang myself for the second time. I got home from work and I started feeling that fucking pain again and I felt in that fucking despair where I just see black. I just couldn’t stand beeing alive. So I went to supermarket and bought a botle of wine to relax a litle before doing it. So I tied the rope around my neck and I tried to hang myself from the bedrom’s door. I was listening to Lady Starlight and I was dreaming that soon I would be in the sky, shining like a litle star. […]
Were that I could curl against
that tipping point
an’ place my breast
my sternum rent against its edge
press down where guilty muscle’s spent
and worn from fighting blackened webs
That wrap around, the charred scent sweet,
my heartbeat wearing, growing […]
I want to die really. I turn to people around me and tell me I should work. how can I have ambition if everything in my life sucks. Im ugly , I’m going to die alone, why continue? im tired. I hate being me and I want to get out of here. I really do.. im trying to see the few good things I have but its hard. I want to hang myself its the only way I could do it
we numb the pain but it’s still there
Beneath the surface
We fight for happiness and no one cares
A brutal preface
To a story that no one dares to tell
All too afraid
Of one persons endless hell
End the day
By fucking all the pain away
It doesn’t work
Saying things I shouldn’t say
They’re just words
Playing a game I will always lose
My voice unheard
Find the rafters and hang my noose
Covered in dirt
My soul takes flight before the weary
A small bird
With broken wings always fearing
For the worst
We are all just animals lying in wait
Been kinda upset recently. I have a friend who actually asked me on a date about 6 months ago, but never been in a relationship before I declined because I was scared and just don’t date people. I’ve kinda realized how good of a person he is and that I definitely do have a ‘crush’ on him, though I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship considering how my last one ended. He’s literally a guy version of me but with better qualities personality-wise. But now he’s completely uninterested and moved onto better people, I guess. Like he definitely had a thing for my […]
“I close my eyes only for a moment, and the moment’s gone
All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind
Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Now, don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money won’t another minute buy
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, everything is […]
I’m tired of always initiating conversations, and never willingly talked to.
I’m tired of being the one to invite them, and they don’t even consider inviting me.
I’m tired of sacrificing my free time planning for us to hang out, and then be ignored when we’re together.
I’m tired of always listening to their troubles and soothing them, and be ignored when I’m sad myself.
I’m tired of the fact that everything I do is hypocritical, and that they are always right.
I’m tired of being told I matter, even though they do all these things to me.
I’m tired of having friends that make me feel like shit and let […]
I don’t know what I’ve done to be exiled by all of my friends. I’ve been home a week. I haven’t been home in my house over 24 hours straight in a few years, I’m always out doing stuff with them. This is the third time this has happened in the last 10 fucking days I’ve been home. My best friend straight up ditches me day after day and then tries to blame it on me, making up stupid validations or excuses, and somehow I’m the one at fault. My other friend begs me to hang out with her because she’s bored, yet never calls me […]
I will tell my whole story soon.. so hang on guys..
Is it true that writers have the highest rate of suicide?!
You seem lonely
A shy smile
I’ll hang with you
Just for awhile
But then I have to go
It’s not something I wanna do
But you know me
And my anxieties
I gravitate towards you
It’s all I do
I can’t help it
And I don’t want to
Anxiety is the unwelcome guest within my mind. Nay, not a guest, but the unwelcome demon that inhabits the depths of my being, not just my mind. It captures my whole body in its icy tendrils that are mistaken for its hands, it slams loud noises and makes me jump, it causes me to sweat and shiver at the same time. My heart races faster than a horse at the Kentucky Derby finish line, causes my hands to shake more than the milkshakes that bring the boys to the yard, and forces my brain to whirl in a fashion not unlike the Tasmanian Devil from […]