Life is just a war… Why should we have to go threw the pain of living… I want to know when I’m gone ill be happy… Scars run down my legs, will they disappear when I leave? Ill never be able to see my future but that’s okay I never had one anyway. I’m just another soul but what’s the point in living if no one wants me around? My scars make me feel like someone but sometime ill go just a bit deeper and that will be it.. Im in a different world.. I’m just another heart beat slowing down.. I won’t be missed ill never make […]
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Happy Life
I don’t want to die, but I made my mind: I have to. Unfortunately, I’m such a coward! It’s been month since I took the decision of killing myself. Months… And I keep postponing it, like everything else in my life… I would like it to be easy, but it’s not. It’s so hard to think to myself “This is the last time I see him/her. The last time I eat chocolate. The last time I take a bath.”, for everything…
I think that my suicide is so difficult to commit because I took the decision with my brain, not with my guts. I’m unhappy, […]
so some guy  told me to put my story up here and wait for reactions on it before i do anything.
why not.
here’s my fucked story:
i am Jeroen Steeman. i am currently 17 years old, and i live in a small village in the netherlands. my life is garbage.
i used to have a happy life tough. lots of friends i hung out with. two awesome older brothers. a happy mom and dad. then my mother got multiple scerose (that’s the dutch name for it anyway) and lost her shit. all the joy that once exsisted in our family life just got destroyed. both my brothers moved […]
If I could try to describe the way I feel it would be like an egg without anything inside. Then imagine that same egg being put under intense pressure. smashed broken and shattered….Its like this feeling in the center of my chest….not physical pain….but it just feels like darkness and despair. Â I can laugh at things that make me laugh but its absent of happiness…. I cant genuinely smile at anything. I don’t appreciate or value anything life has to offer. The sunlight has become dull and gray and when its dull and gray outside that is sunshine to me. A flower looks like a […]
I don’t understand why I feel pain like this. It’s completely unbearable. Two years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression. i’ve spent these last two years in therapy and searching everywhere for something to make me feel better. I’ve tried therapy, ten different anti-depression drugs, hypnosis, acupuncture, acupressure.. the list goes on and on. on top that i’m victim to horrible anxiety attacks that can strike at any moment without warning, i usually get about two or three a day. they make me curl up into a ball and wait to die. my family has abandoned me because i cause everyone around me pain […]
You see “people”,
it does not get better. when you cut yourself or kill yourself, it will never get better. Why is it when that when we lose someone we love, we have to go with them. Oh yeah, i know why, it’s because this world is fucked up and people don’t care about what we suffer from. the world hurts everyone emotionally, we just have the scars to prove it… and it just feels so damn good… i want to kill myself a lot more than anybody. i knew this girl from when we were little, we grew up together. we were destined to […]
This is the kinda crap tht get me…fck man ! i have no true friends, ill never have tht one special person who tells me they love me again .. ive lost it all …ill always be alone with no one to care…its jst me in my own little dark place..the only place ill ever feel safe. idk wht to do anymore..life suck right now theres only one way out i can think of..n ive been holding on so hard for it not to happen ik i have a long ‘happy’ life ahead for me bt we will tht being ?! ugh im jst tired..tired […]
I am drowning in my depression.
I am unable to reach out to anyone, because I have no one to reach out to. I have lost what friends I had because I was “a bummer to be around.” I did what I could do mask my feelings, but I can’t, not anymore.
I am writing this not looking for sympathy, but to simply tell my story, and maybe, for once, I can be of some worth.
I was raised with one simple phrase beaten into my head, I am worthless. Whether I am or not, does not matter when that is the only thing you feel: worthless. I […]
hi my name is umair ad i am 21 years old my story of life is very unique when i was 5 year old my cousin said me that she loves me she was just 4 years old and now our love is 17 years old this is very strange we started to love each other when we did not know the meaning of love but i think we started to love because we born for each other i was living very happy life with her but at the start of this year my cousin told me  that her parents are looking for a good boy […]
I really don’t want to live like this any longer. I don’t even want to live at all any longer. Yet for some reason I keep procrastinating. Could it be fear? Possibly. I’ve been raised to believe that suicide is a sin and is a one way ticket to hell. Is hell much worse than what I’m living in now? I don’t know. Usually, the unknown has scared me. Could it be hope? Possibly. Why I should have any hope left in my heart is beyond me. Maybe there is the tiniest shred of hope in the deepest corners of my heart, but my brain […]
Suicide just ain’t my style. But I feel I have no other choice in the matter really….
written by tupacorbiggie
I wish I could live a full happy life. Â You know, get married, have kids and all that jazz. Â But I don’t think it’s feasible. Â I think I need to end things soon and stop delaying the inevitable. Â Thoughts?
If I were to be honest for a change and told you what was inside me. All the demons I fight every day. How much regret I have for everything I have done. If I told you that I want to kill myself. Would you understand? Probably not. Everyone looks at me like I’m insane. All the scars on my arms and legs it reminds me that my past is real. Every day I look in the mirror and hate what I see not just the outside the inside too I feel so ugly. I’m full of anger and sadness. I’m deprived from happiness. I […]
I feel numb right now, Â maybe of the anti depressants im taking, they make me feel weird. I cant sleep even though ive taken enough sleeping tablets to knock me out 3 times. I dont have anyone to talk to. I dont have the energy to write details, but here is my basic story.
My life for as long as I can remember has been unhappy, Ive been physically & mentally abused all my life. It made me insecure, I developed an eating disorder, self harmed and was suicidal a long time, I told myself when i’m older I wont feel like this and it will […]
Hello guys, its been about four months i think since i wrote anything. I guess because ive been writting on my journal (which is now burned). For abour a month now…or more, ive been more than depressed. I keep thinking its nothing. I mean im only 15, its normal to feel as if your world is falling apart, or any little thing bothers you because of the way we live or anything like that. Truth is, im getting tired of listening to all these thing. Telling myslf all this things is just huting me even more. Cause really its all fucking lies in my head. […]
you just have to say “fuck it, I wanna be happy.”
Life is Shit at the moment, life is a journey.
You stepped in a pile of shit ok?
When you do that in real life, what really happens?
For the next ten miles do you think about that pile of shit you stepped in?
Do you see piles of shit on the road ahed and steer yourself right into them?
No? So why do it mentally?
Sure, your foot may stink because of the residual shit, but the initial impact is back there man, leave your bad feelings about the shit back there. […]
You all were right. I should’ve made my ‘man’ choose earlier. But I guess it wouldn’t matter anyways. The girl he’s been dating for two years? Apparently they were engaged since September of two years ago. “Fiance Scene” it says on her site.
I’m shaking. I’m so upset, I can’t believe it. Should I believe him?.. Honestly I feel like I really am being strung along now. And like there’s no way out. I passed out my heart way too much. And look what happens. Every single time my heart just breaks a little more. And I think that this guy was my last chance to […]
I’ve come to realization that I have no interest in continuing on withy life. I’ve had chances to have what people would consider a good life and I didn’t take them. And the most important thing I’ve come to understand is nobody is suppose to be happy. Nobody is guaranteed a happy life. Some people’s lives will be unhappy and unbearable.
I envy everyone who has a nice life with no problems. I want to say fuck you all but I used to have a great life. Shit just happened and well…what can I say, here I am. So everyone reading this that has a happy life, take advantage of it because there’s a lot of people, including myself, that their life sucks. So do me a favor and live my life for me. Okay thanks…
I was a sad little girl. Â 35 years later, I’m a sad little girl who’s been on just about every medication possible. Â They all stop working after a few years.
I’ve never really had a relationship. Â I’m not sure what’s so unappealing. Â Maybe my sadness is more obvious than I think. Â Men don’t even pay attention to me. Â They never have. Â Having cute bubbly friends doesn’t help. Â My mother has nagged me about my weight since high school when I started gaining weight from the antidepressants.
I have a job and an education. Â I live in a rented 2 bedroom house that is much too big […]
I’ve been battling with depression my whole life. I got on anti-depressants when I was about 13, but I caught a lot of flack from my dad’s side of the family so I stopped. I continued struggling until I was about 18 and decided to get back on the pills. It seemed better at first, then it got worse. I was contemplating suicide at least once a week. It was getting to the point where if something in my day went wrong, I would have mini breakdowns in my room. I would cry and curl into a ball and wish horrible things upon myself. I told my […]
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