Just dying. I have really little, if anything to live for. I have a hard time imagining any accomplishment that would cause me to transcend the feeling of wanting to be dead that I’ve been experiencing for the past several months. I have done yoga. I have done meditation. I’ve taken all kinds of medication and talked about every aspect of my life. Tried to tie up loose ends in my relationships, but I am broken.
Tag:
Hard Time
4th of July is in two days, that’s the day i had planned to end it all. I have this amazing guy who walked into my life and makes thinks better but life is still hard. I stooped taking my meds bcz i wanted to think clearly on whether i would go trough with my plans or not. I still have no idea of what im going to end up doing. My boyfriend does not make it easier on me. He knows all about it and he does not want to lose me, he said he can see himself marrying me in the future. I […]
I decided I better tell my full story so people inderstand me better:
I started self-harming about two years ago. I had an argument with my best friend and this set it off. It wasn’t a serious row; it was quite a silly one to be honest. However, I think this triggered off a lot of my self-esteem issues. I had a really hard time at school and was bullied a lot and I ended up finding it hard to get close to people. My feelings of self worth vanished again after the argument and in order to combat this I started to cut myself. Not […]
Okay, so I’m sorry I don’t really have anything new to tell, but I’m having a hard time dealing with anger atm and wondered if anyone know any productive, non-destructive ways to get rid of it? As I wrote in my last post my parents basically re-triggered my childhood trauma again recently, and since I’ve been crying all day, alternating with bouts of anger and a general feeling of being ” out of it”, while they’ve continued living their lives happily as if nothing had been, which makes me even angrier. I shouldn’t allow them to make me feel this way, I was relatively happy […]
My parents dont give a shit about me, or how I feel about anything. Only that I get good grades. If i get any less than a A they scream and shout at me and take away the only things I enjoy-My xbox, and laptop. I only enjoy these, because when I play games I can escape to another world. I have tried to kill myself three times already… One time one of my parents saw me trying and didnt even bat an eyelid. They couldnt have cared less. The only people I care about in the world are my friends.. And even they are […]
Hi guys.. did that Mormon prick disappear yet? I couldn’t stomach how that sad little demon took over the forums, and I have a hard time not reacting to trolls, so kept clear. Thanks to Dawg and many others, the troll was battled and showed his true colors of virulent racism, hatred and homophobia. It was SAD because evil people like that are one of the things that has made me hate society, the world, and assured me I am right o withdraw and watch the whole of the country walk cheerfully into the shitter shouting God Bless USA!! God Bless US!.
Anyway – this is […]
I hate my life… I’m currently 29 years old with no job, no money, no spouse of any kind, no career, no car, failed college, no friends, no hopes, dreams and goals for my life. I’m so sad. I live with my mom because I have no where else to go. The love of my life, we weren’t official but it felt real for 3 years, left me for one of my friends in July, 2011. I got fired from my old job in November 2011 and ever since then I cant seem to get a job thats willing to hire me. I been so […]
Well, I was supposed to die exactly a year and two months ago. Ever since, I feel like I have been in a rut. I don’t know what to do. I’m 14 year old girl. I do have a boyfriend that I love and talk about all the time because I love him so much. I just can’t get out of this rut. I know he is scared for me in more ways than one. First, I can’t help it but I cut myself. Second, I am so depressed and I can’t open up to people that easily so I have a hard time telling […]
im having a hard time keeping together one part of me wants to jump off a bridge another part of me wants to slit my wrist or starve and dehydrate myself. To bad you cant do all three. Im in a lot of pain and i dont know why just know something inside of me hurts real bad. My life is good but this feeling is not good. I just got out of the er i actually went twice one the first day then the next. They threatened to kick me out of the er the second time if i kept acting up so i […]
thoughts of suicide have become my happy place. before i go to sleep i think of what it would feel like (or not feel like) to be dead and gone, it’s become my solace. i forgot how to be happy. i see nothing to live for. i just underwent a rather difficult breakup. it came at a time when i needed him the most. things were pretty bad at home and i was having a very hard time at school. we broke up during my exams and so I’ve definitely failed those.
i cant cry myself to sleep anymore because it’s pathetic. i don’t pray […]
I’ve been depressed and suicidal recently with no one to talk of my issues with. I recently decided to talk to the school counselor about my problems. At first, everything was great, but then from the depression test results she decided that she needs to talk to my parents about my depression (the talk is tomorrow night shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck) as well as getting me to see my pediatrician about things I can do (antidepressants stuff).
I’m really starting to regret talking to my counselor and wish there was some other way of doing this without making things more complicated than […]
My name is Jessica. I am 13 years old and I’m a very sad person. I’ve hurt loved ones, been hurt, and been abandon by the only people I’ve trusted.
When I was 6, my parents split up. It was a very hard time for my brother and I. He was only 8. I don’t really remember much, just one day I came home from school and my father told me that if he and my mom got into one more fight, he was leaving us. The following day, he kept his word. They worked out custody and all that, and I lived with my mom […]
But I don’t think there’s a good way for me to go on living. I feel horrible all of the time. I’ve seen enough doctors, therapists, and social workers to populate a small country. I don’t see any future for me. I don’t even have any dreams to hang on to. I don’t have any friends either. I’ve spent two weeks in the hospital. It made things worse.
It is sad when happy people die; if only we could trade places so that they could go on living.
I’m young. I hate it when older people complain that my generation feels entitled to more than we deserve. […]
how did u guys make it through ur depression or thoughts of suiside because i just dont wat to do and i dont realy have anyone to go to so im hoping this website will help me because i am havin a realy hard time with this please i dont have any where else to turn please my mom adopted mom doensnt care about me at all so this is all i have
I am really having a hard time right now; this past week I’ve been keeping myself fully occupied with asking people to keep me from being alone (everyone goes out of their way and does so in a heartbeat) with times spent in between writing to others I’ve ‘met’ here. There’s no relief… I mean, I put myself out there in an attempt to feel some connection but no matter how much I try, or how others try, I still feel numb… worse possibly. I never expected anything in the first place but I guess I just need to write this out right now and […]
2 years ago I joine the marine corps. That wast dream to become a marine. I wanted to be the hero. When I went into the 13 weeks of misery known as boot camp I loved it. I enjoyed it. I met my closest friends there they knew everything about me and I knew everything about them . They were my best friends, my brothers. After basic I went to marine combat training MCT for short and there i was beginning to have suicidal thoughts. It hit me. I was I here ? What was I doing? Nobody was there no one. I felt alone. […]
my best friend justin had gone through a hard time. his parents got divorced then his mom remarried . his stepdad and justin never saw eye to eye justin told me he wasnt even invited to the wedding. im the only person he ever trusted…he also struglled with his gender… he had very poor grades and got in trouble every day . he has a kid like innocence .he had told me how depressed he was. but at 15 everyone thinks there depressed so i supported him and loved him.. he took prescription pills and one day at school had a tick tack bottle filled […]
I was one of those people that were always like killing yourself is stupid. I realize now that was because I had it pretty close to I prefect life. But I worked hard to do that too. I had all As and great friend. And I was so pretty. In my freshman year of high my mom told me we were moving. I didn’t want too. But would any teenager want to move 1,000 miles away from their life, friends, everything. I throw I fit but I knew I was making it harder on myself so I told her I would be good and go. […]
Was going to post this last night but got drunk and distracted…
My parents got divorced when I was 7. Both are fantasy-prone, overweight, and hoarders. I was bullied when I was in school. A lot. That’s hard for me to admit because I feel like I’m supposed to be strong. I never wanted my family or friends to know… the few I had. I thought they’d reject me too. I’ve alienated most of my friends now, even the ones that were always nice to me. Maybe I never wanted them to find out what I really am. I’m weak. I’m a loser. I’m dumb and […]
if you have no one relying on you, then what’s so bad about killing yourself? I have family and friends, sure, but none of them needs me to live. I see friends every other week, try to see family less than that; I know I’m not necessary. I’m not necessary to any one other persons existence. People would be sad but so? Life is saddening.
No kids, no spouse or prospects of any kind, no pets, no car or mortgage and no hope.
If I continue living, I’ll just be seeking out ways to stay happy, like everybody else does. But nothing makes me happy, […]